Thou shalt conformeth not...

To quote a very beautiful saying by J.D. Hull, "It is asserted of this elegant creature (he's talking about the Bird of Paradise) that it always flies against the wind, as otherwise, its beautiul, but delicate plummage would be ruffled and spoiled. Those only are the Birds of Paradise, in a spiritual sense, who make good their way against the wind of worldliness; a wind always blowing in the opposite direction to that of heaven."

Being a great lover of nature, I yearned to see how the Lord had created the Bird of Paradise (the bird, not the flower - there is a flower with the same name)... And...And...It looks like this:

Woooooow....awesome!

I love what God's Word says about conformity. "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2)

There's a great societal pressure for Christians to conform to worldly patterns... stereotypes, values, mindsets, pursuits, etc. We are only human of course. Easily distracted by tempting promises of acceptance and gain, rendered insecure when others prosper in their possession of earthly treasures, stumbled by discouragements and tormenting fears, and blinded by dazzling sights that cause our spiritual eyes to abandon their supposed fixation on Christ. But God reminds us not to desire (and in many occasions crave and lust) to take take the world's good things as our portion, forgetting that we have something better at hand. Instead - be transformed by the renewing of the mind!

In the light of this, 3 important things we'd have to remember...

1. Not to be slaves to the world...

Romans 8:15 - 'The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by Him, we cry, "Abba, Father."

Richard Cecil wrote, "...The believer not only overcomes the world in its deformities, but in its seeming excellencies. Not in the way Alexander and the other conquerors overcame it, but in a much nobler way; for they, so far from overcoming the world were slaves to the world. The man who puts ten thousand other men to death, does not overcome the world. The true conqueror is he who can say with Paul, 'Thanks be to God, who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ,' and 'Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation?' Etc. 'Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors, through Him that loved us.' "

May we not conform or succumb to the fears that torment those who are of this world. Some, in this time of economic crisis, fear retrenchment, paycuts and being financially incapable of providing for their families. Others strife to outdo one another in the organizational hierarchy, not wanting to lose positional security... while many others work themselves to death for the sake of worldly gain, acceptance and achievement. Such are slaves to the world. They know not the pleasure of having been weaned to trust God, who has pre-determined their portions and lots - and who makes our lines fall in pleasant places. They prefer to depend on their own knowledge, strengths and abilities. May we not fall into that vicious trap of pride and fear! Since we've been adopted as sons and daughters of God, let us be secure in His promises for His people - firstly, that He never leaves nor forsakes; secondly, that His love is unfailing. And etc... May we delight in the joy of entering His rest.

2. Not to be slaves to false religion

Corrupt influence. Idolatry (not only limited to worship of wooden carved images or golden statues - but also money, people, studies, work, things - whatever that is exalted or esteemed higher than God in our hearts. Christians beware!). Prosperity gospel. Zeal not based on truth. Philosophy and vain deceit, traditions of men, and rudiments of the world not in keeping with the Word of God. Etc. I remember Pastor Jeya once expounded the verse in 2 Timothy 4:3 - "For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions..." It left me trembling with fear to think that I could have sought after anything but sound teaching... and definitely much more selective on the books (even Christian ones) that I now choose to read. But even so, I still sometimes find myself 'munching' on spiritual junkfood, which takes away my appetite for His good wholesome Word. Woe to that! God, help me!

Christians, we have to read the Word of God for ourselves - that we would be able to discern between truth and what is not! Don't just depend on books. Don't just accept what sounds great to our 'itching ears' - those that please and fit our lifestyles... and push away the things that sear intrusion upon our conscience. We've got to remember Hebrews 4:12 - 'For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.' Let His Word judge the thoughts and attitudes of our hearts.

May we thus not conform to the patterns of those who '...have a form of godliness but deny its power....' (2 Timothy 3:5)

3. Not to be slaves to our appetites...

Paul said in Phillippians 3:18-20 - 'For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ...'

I don't think when Paul mentioned 'their god is their stomach', he was only concerned with the people indulging in gluttony. But rather, he was also referring to those who being slaves to their appetites (Romans 16:18) for power, earthly fame and recognition, earthly treasures (Phil 3:19), to the point of using measures such as smooth talk and flattery to deceive naive minds just so that they would get what they want.

In many ways if not all, the world esteems people who can impress. Because of that, we're accustomed to impressing in one way or another to get something we want. One example... to pass the medical practical exams I have grown so used to. One very outrageously funny thing I found when the doctors were teaching us how to examine patients in a mock examination setting - was that we were taught to impress our examiners more than anything... The examination skills were important of course - and you'd of course need to elicit the correct specific physical findings... but, but... to add credit, you'd have to be able to present your findings fluently without fumbling and stuttering all the way from "This is my patient, Mr. X, a Y-year-old Chinese gentleman, who ....", flow from one 'move' to another smoothly and lyrically (It brought back memories of ballet/jazz class), stand with the right posture when you speak, etc. You basically do and say things to flatter the eyes and the ears of the examiners!:P I remember one doctor telling us, "It's all about showmanship!" Then I have seen many doctors who don't necessarily follow the order of steps we've learnt as students when it comes to examining patients.

Likewise, God warns us not to conform to the world in this aspect of achieving our selfish ambitions. Whether it's by cunning flattery, smooth talk, deceit, impressing others, or even through our insincere preaching of 'stuff to suit the itching ears' of people. It is sin. James 3:16 - 'For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.'


God help us! May the words of our mouth and the meditations/attitudes of our hearts be pleasing and acceptable in Your sight. Help us to set apart Christ in our hearts, that we may honor You in the lives You've given us to live. May everything we do glorify You in this world we live in. Amen.

Tuesday, 31/3/2009

Alarm-clock-itis... I had a weird stomach-ache that started since last night. It kept me up til' the wee hours of the morning, tossing and turning in bed.

Then when my alarm clock rang, I felt so offended pulak. Groaned, snooze-buttoned, stretched, and recoiled into another sleeping position. This happened 5 more times, til' I finally relented, and dragged myself to the bathroom. Grrrr...

Oh well... guess what, I'm back to work!:D Pic above: church car park

I had a very chilled-out Monday (off day) yesterday. Spent some time with the Lord, read quite a bit, had a walk in the mall, tried Taco balls at Jaya Jusco on my own for the very first time - the last 2 times I ate that, it was merely 2 small bites from someone else's Taco ball (ok, why does that sound a little wrong?). Then I never bought my own Taco balls - coz I'm always too lazy to queue up to pay for it at the counters... But yesterday - I finally decided to try it. Oh my, oh my! It was scrumplicious!:) Yummiliciously GOOD... I had to eat my Taco balls upstairs, just so that I wouldn't be tempted to buy another box of it!

Been a little worried bout my finances lately - aiyor, I know I need to trust God that He would make a way and provide me somehow, if He's led me this far... but well, earthly reasoning and imagination can really take a toll if we don't drop those and turn our eyes upon Jesus. Recently, I have been wishing that God would just drop money from the sky - so I don't need to so bersusah-payah to look for sponsorship for my studies...Pig kindly addressed my 'state of having been distant lately' (whatever that means) through an email...then she wrote something that made me crack-up so hard with laughter... to quote just the following sentences: "...no, money dont fall down from the sky. Cos we have too many different currencies. God scared you'll end up holding on to a rupee and dunno what to do with it..." *Pengsan*

Geez... That's so.... Pig!

I've started a new accounts-journalling book for my monthly expenditures... and this one makes so much more sense - coz it's so nice and organized... and I've got nothing much to worry about except debit and credit... Hehe:P ~

Currently: craving for a new book to read.

This is to Lydia...

Thanks so much, dear!:) ~ Very touched.

I just read your email...and will find time to reply it soon. 

2 bruises...

I've got two bruises right smack on the middle of my forehead, which have a greyish, unflattering appearance... and hurt when I press on them - and I don't know how they got there in the first place. For sure, I have not been doing any head-bashing acts - neither did I get hit nor fall down.

Sigh, I know, I know... I used to do medicine, so I'm growing a little worried with all the differential diagnoses my brain is churning up... Hehe. For all I know, I could have bashed my forehead against the wooden frame of my bed when I was asleep, or dreamt that I was getting into a fight. (ooi, aggressive-nya...) Similar bruises have appeared on my other parts of my body before - this brings me to remember, one appeared on one of the bony prominences on my left leg yesterday.

You see, how it works... I think 'mysterious bruises', then I'd start to try to relate everything I've experienced in the past few weeks/months.. frequent headaches, excessive drowsiness, intolerance to heat, etc, etc. Haha. Then, an alarming ddx pops up in my head...

What a hypochondriac! 

What a mystery. 

A random Weekend...

Watched 'International' on Friday night at Perangin Mall. It was a good movie.

Ben, his mum and I randomly and spontaneously went gallivanting to Balik Pulau on Saturday afternoon just to eat laksa... And can you imagine? That was right after lunch! We were going to eat Pasembur too...but I was really too full... We went shopping at Sunshine Square Mall after the trip...

Ben and his mum...

Basically Saturday was a day of eats... ate and ate and ate... (Thankfully, I at least went to the gym in the morning... )

My 'Ban Jang' kuih (apom balik) - yummers....love the combination of nuts and corn inside...

We had a combined CG meeting (Tairven's and Ben's care groups) at the GYM on Saturday evening... in darkness (save the candle-light) just to support Earth Hour. Thank God it was raining, so it wasn't hot despite the fans having been turned off. There was a lot of junkfood, btw - I was munching and munching even after everybody had stopped:P - I'm not sure why I'm so peckish... PMS maybe.

Now that Saturday's over, I feel really fat!

Sunday...today...
Feeling so hot, languid and lethargic somehow... but sermon was good. Felt so encouraged to live my life to the fullest.

Girly white dresses...

I will be attending a friend's wedding this May - and I haven't really given much thought to what to wear yet.

There's no specific dress colour-code for it of course...but, but... today, I went on a little walk-see during lunch... and I've fallen in love with some of the white summer dresses on display. Particularly those which are white, made of light cottony material, either A-line or empress cut (coz I look odd wearing other cuttings) ...and oh my, the white sashes are gorgeous... They lend so much to a clean and fresh, crisp silhouette of a little white dress...

I am one person especially 'partial' to ribbons and sashes - whether it's on my dresses, bags, ear-rings, or hair... There's something so extra sweet and girly about them, that I can never resist. Love the soft satiny ones - black, white or cream.

Anyway, I haven't made up mind if I want to wear an old dress (not very ngam for the occasion - being ball dresses), borrow or get an inexpensive one for the occasion. I don't want anything too bling-bling, fali-falook or boombastic... Sweet simplicity appeals so much more to me.

Another colour I have stuck up in my head so far - Lilac.

Note that I'm not saying "I need to lose some weight..." coz whenever I say that, I always kinda jinx myself... by doing exactly the opposite. And no, I am not even sure why.

Thou shalt not forget...

I am a big elephant fan. (And no, I'm not talking bout my stature here!)

I have always been fascinated how unique God made these gentle giants. Their family structure, anatomy, senses, etc. Joyce Poole quote in 'The Fate Of The Elephant' - "Whether sad, angry, distressed, eager or playful, elephants are this in a big way..." It always touches me how emotional and feeling the Lord made them. They cry and laugh like we humans do, play with one another, have greeting ceremonies for a long-lost friend, and grieve at the loss of a still-born baby or the death of friends and family members. They know how to comfort, caress and love.

I hate it that due to the enormous size and strength of elephants, most circus trainers rely on chains and fear to make them obey. I read, with tears in my eyes, that typically the process begins with an elephant being beaten into submission at a very young age...and many of such circus elephants spending a great deal of their lives in chains and martingales (chains that run from tusks to feet). As a result of the stresses of confinement and disease, they die prematurely.

Anyway, before I side-track, I remembered the elephants today, because 2 days ago, the Lord brought to me, in my distresses and faithlessness, a verse from Psalm 103: 2 - "Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.." Was meditating upon that verse for the past 2 days... and this morning, while digging into a bowl of nuts, raisins and oats at the breakfast table, I had this random thought:

Now if only I had the memory of an elephant!

...then I'd never be driven to fear, doubt, faithlessness, labouring in vain, looking to worldly benefits, storing up for myself earthly treasures, etc.

But face the fact, I'll never be an elephant. And therefore I'm prone to forget... So thankful I am that the Lord never fails to remind me in my weaknesses, His love, kindness and faithfulness - through the most amazing, unimaginable ways.

For example, my car breaking-down yesterday. While I sat in the bengkel waiting for them to finish repairing my car, I remembered the Lord and His mercy... and came to my senses - after a rough, emotional Wednesday.

What comfort and encouragement it is to me then, that the Lord's ways are far higher than the ways of a man - that He never forgets or forsakes any of those whom He's made! Or His promises. Or our sufferings. Or our weaknesses. Indeed He brings to completion all the good works He's begun in us!

The only thing He does forget... our transgressions after He's removed them (verse 12). He says in Isaiah 43:25 - 'I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.' This is what is so amazing about God's grace! God, give me more of that - so that I would learn to forgive others like You forgive me.

Here's the very beautiful Psalm 103 (emphasis mine), and what God reminds us with the exhortation that deals with us as His sons and daughters (Heb 12:5), not to forget. May we remember God and praise Him with all our might!

1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits-
3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
6 The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.
7 He made known His ways to Moses, His deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse, nor will He harbor his anger forever;
10 He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him;
12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him;
14 for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear Him, and His righteousness with their children's children-
18 with those who keep His covenant and remember to obey His precepts.
19 The LORD has established His throne in heaven, and His kingdom rules over all.
20 Praise the LORD, you His angels, you mighty ones who do His bidding, who obey His word.
21 Praise the LORD, all His heavenly hosts, you His servants who do his will.
22 Praise the LORD, all his works everywhere in his dominion. Praise the LORD, O my soul.

There's always a first for everything

One inconvenient thing about having a job that requires you to move around Penang during the day when everyone else is busy working in their respective offices - is this...

My car broke-down this afternoon.... and I had to deal with it on my own!:P

The funny thing about it (and maybe fortunate too!) was that it broke down in my own basement.

I panicked a fair bit at first... Tried turning the key in the ignition, but my car just wouldn't start-up. It didn't seem like a battery problem, because I could turn on the car-lights still. My car just remained un-start-able...and it looked pretty sad, ill and sorry for itself.

Then I started calling the tow-truck service...coz I didn't know any foreman I could call to come and take a look at my ailing car. (Didn't want to bother anyone else either). They took such a long time to come, that I was kinda frustrated... but anyway, they did finally arrive. The 2 men pushed my car from its parking spot, out of the car-park, coz the tow-truck was too tall to go into the basement. Haha.

Felt so embarrassed as many of the passers-by were watching...So much drama! I was also, very sorry for my poor car, as it was tilted onto the 'stretcher' of the 'car ambulance'.

My car was towed to a workshop... I had an adventurous ride in between the 2 truck people...in the truck. Didn't feel like I wanted to sit in my own car and be the centre of attention as it was towed along the streets of Penang.

It wasn't a battery problem that had to be remedied. Rather, the petrol pump and filter were rosak and had to be replaced. I was thankful that the cost of repairs did not go beyond RM400, which could have... Praise God, that the mechanic took pity on me, and fixed my car first, even though he was so busy with so many other cars. So, in a few hours time, I could go home. Had to miss half a day at work pulak.

I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in the shelter, nursing a headache (I think it's the sun this time), watching the mechanics crawl in, out, and under my car...to remove the whole petrol tank, change the pump and the filter...etc, etc. Managed to do a little reading too. Had time to sit and think too. Remembered God's amazing grace in every tricky situation I've encountered alone in the past 9 months of working with this job, and was comforted. Lost wallet (last Sept), car-crash, car-breakdown, etc. In fact, I was never really alone! Think such circumstances always remind me to repent, look to the Lord and trust Him.

Poor bear-bear. Must have been bewildered.

After the ordeal was over...and my car started up again. Thank God! (I was frowning coz the sun was too hot!) Phew... what a humbling experience...

Well, at least I didn't have to walk home... or fly back on a parachute... or something.

Happy Birthday Mocha...

Oh, man. Can't believe I'm actually blogging bout this...

But... I'm just back from Mocha's birthday celebration at Mc'donald's Greenlane!:P (If you pengsan, I can understand one)

Pig's 'baby', Mocha, turned 1 years old yesterday (Wednesday). So she decided to throw a mini-party for Mocha at Mc-donald's after choir practice ended, just before the clock struck 12!

Those present at the party were: Uncle Postman & Aunty Cookies, Uncle Big Bird & Aunty Small Bird, and of course, Mocha's Daddee & Marmee... Umm, we dipped fries into our sundaes/Mc-flurry's, and some of us had cold-drinks. Chatted and fellowshipped. It was fun.

Then at the end of the night, Aunty Cookies and Aunty Small Bird sang Mocha a birthday song, while Uncle Postman and Uncle Big Bird were abit too paiseh, and covered their faces. Mocha looked incandescantly happy and was bouncing up and down with excitement while we sang...

The birthday boy...

Wednesday

Phew. Got my report done and handed up. Finished working on my seminary budget too. Don't know why the latter took me so long, but it finally got finalized. Praise God.

A little depressed, helpless, head-achey and wishing that I could just disappear. On the verge of tears too, somehow. Darn. I musn't cry in the church office.

Sorry for the drama, folks. I've just got the blues. And it's got to be for the silliest reasons. Maybe.

Anyway, that aside...

I was telling Pig on Gtalk (in one of those not-so-busy intervals I had today) that I just feel like an emotional potato chips binge :P (I have not done that in a long while) - when the door of the church office opened, one of our church members walked in, smiled, and laid a whole loaf of warm, yummy-smelling banana cake on my table... Now, what is that supposed to mean?

Choir practice tonight.

The Journals of Jim Elliot

Back to reading this book...

Just a short introduction to those who do not know who Jim Elliot is: He was a Christian missionary to Ecuador, who was killed by the Huaorani Indians. His journals were then compiled by his wife, Elisabeth Elliot, after his death, and published - sparking an interest in missions in many youths of his time, and being an encouragement to the missionaries worldwide.

If I were to deem any book my utmost favourite, this would be the one. Have had this book in my collection since year 2007. And I've never gotten tired of reading it especially when I'm in need of spiritual revival. It never fails to challenge me to a more committed, closer walk with the Lord.

Here's a quote a sentence from his journal record on October 28, 1949: 'He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose'.

Just so that you would understand...

... I'm here if you need a hand.

Tuesday

Back at work.

Tuesdays are always the same:

• An early morning.
• Weekly meeting with pastor and Val (another ministry staff) till noon - it's somewhat an accountability meeting + sharing-our-personal-needs + prayer meet mixed into one.
• Working on the weekly Sunday bulletin.
• Checking on certain other stuff.
  
• A late lunch, post-office (for me) and quick grocery-shopping - since everything's in Tesco's. (Sometimes I try organizing my laundry if I have the time)
  
• Then back to work again.

I think recently, God has been convicting me 'bout my lack of self-discipline in some areas. I think I ought to start with... waking up in the mornings without wishing that the night was much, much longer.

Ideally I'd like to spring up and out from my bed and cheerfully greet my day. Brush my teeth and shower with my eyes open, instead of closed (sometimes, I do believe I carry on with my last-night's dream while doing those...then I'd stand at the sink for ages). Smile and say, "Praise God! What a great morning!" instead of, "Lord, I feel so lazy..."Goodness, what an embarrassing confession.

God, make me a morning person, please.

My weekend...

... Been trying to get into this book - a very well written one by the Consumer's Association of Penang. You can tell that I got a bit bored:P ~ I stopped before I reached the middle of the book. Conveniently 'ter-left' the book at Ben's place somemore... hehe. (ssshhhh...) Oh well, I will definitely continue reading the book some other time. *sticks out tongue* It did help me to plan my budget a little.

Oh dear. Yeah. About the budget... I'm still trying to work things out. Feel so fickle :S/


Not to mention, I have reports to write this week...

Went to visit the 'muara' of Sg. Pinang (the part which leads into the sea - I forgot what's the term for that! - Um, river mouth?:P)

Somemore fisherman villages...

Penang Bridge in the distance... (makes me a little homesick *sniff*)

Houses facing the sea... Nice houses, mind you! But I don't think I'd like staying near the river mouth. The concoction of smells that arise (especially in the evenings/after rain) would drive me up the wall! :P - like it did when I was staying near the horse-racing/turf club. Every night! No kidding!

River mouth...

Worried

I'm worried. 'Bout people. 'Bout things.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh btw... this is completely random. So don't come after me...

My holey bag and holey, falling-apart wallet have been replaced! (Everyone, breathe a sigh of relief... and Pig, don't worry bout the purse already!:))

Bf and I suddenly went shopping at Sunshine Square last night - and he bought me a really nice (and reasonably priced too!) multi-purpose bag that I'd be able to put books in and not feel guilty.

Ok, I'm not that kind of girl who likes to carry tiny bags around, which only can contain my handphone, wallet, tissues and a lipstick or two. I find those tiny bags an easy prey for 'predators', as I have to travel around quite alot and a little too inconvenient... unless I'm going for a dinner outing or evening ball.

I like moderately sized bags. I always carry books in my bag: a book I'm currently reading, so I can read wherever I want; a tiny notebook to jot down stuff and to-do-lists to unclutter my mind; my prayer journal and 2 pens; and a pocket-bible. Then there's always the usual bottle of water, tissues, lip balm, lipstick, eye-drops, wallet, handphone, a little emergency aid, and paraphernalia of keys. Occassionally, I'd stick more stuff in if needed.

I did that with my previous bag (much to Pig's chagrin!)...and the corners of my books, water bottle, pens and keys tore the inside cloth-lining of the bag, which means, there were actually 'no more pockets' inside the bag, since all of them kena ripped open:P I didn't have a budget for a new bag and wallet, so I've been using these for ages... with no complaints. Occassionally, people would gasp at my humble-looking wallet (I'd feel embarrassed, but only for a while) - but nobody except my bf knew about the condition in my bag.

Now, this new one is a marvellous bag, coz its got so many strong organizer-pockets my other bag did not! Not to mention, it looks nice, sporty, neat and not too chunky to lug around as a casual bag... Oh, plus he got me a much-needed wallet too! When I got home last night, I immediately started transferring all my belongings into the new bag and wallet. How exciting! Hehe.

I feel so loved. Thanks, dear!:)

Lo Mai Kai...

I'm one of those people who could never stomach Lo Mai Kai (glutinous chicken rice) in the past. Too sticky. To greasy. To mushy. Etcetera. When we went out for dimsum breakfasts as a family, I'd steer clear from the Lo Mai Kai. As a result of a huge food poisoning scare that occured 20 years ago (actually I suspect it was combined with an intolerance I had towards glutinous rice! ~ I've shunned rice dumplings too), I have not eaten Lo Mai Kai for a very, very, very long time.

Today, Ben's mum very lovingly bought me Lo Mai Kai - from one market (to my initial horror)... and I didn't think refusing it would be a good idea.

So, I decided to put aside my Lo-mai-kai phobia.... and dig in. Got the jeebles at first. It smelt decent, being warm and steaming...

Took my first bite of it, and decided... "Hmmm, interesting. It actually tastes good."

Then I ate... and ate... and ate....

Before long, I had finished up the whole Lo Mai Kai - and it was really scrumpliciously, appetizingly, tantalizingly good. No stomach-ache or jelak-ness (despite it being the biggest lo mai kai I've ever eaten!) too. LOL.

I tell you... this is the best Lo Mai Kai I've eaten in 25 years! Haha. (As if I've eaten that many)

Lo Mai Kai (Goliath) giant! I've struck you down with a smooth stone from my slingshot! :P Praise the Lord!

Good Things Come In Threes...

Haven't been doing tags for a while now. because I either didn't have the time to do it, or I totally forgot about it. A thousand apologies, people. I'm currently taking a break from things.. so there you go. A tag...

Three things that scare me are
1. Lizards... it makes me sick to see their quivering bodies, when they fall *kepiakkkkk* onto the floor from the ceiling..
2. The unknown
3. Pitch black darkness... although I'm so much better than I used to be. Now at least I can sort of calmly walk from the light switch to my bed, after I snap out the lights... without breaking into a sweat.

Three people who make me laugh
1. Zoey
2. Pig
3. Ben

Actually so many, many more... 

Three people who've inspired me
1. Jim Elliot
2. A.W.Tozer
3. Wives of pastors who've discipled and mentored me, through my walk with the Lord

Three things I love
1. Music - jazz, jazz-concerts, drum-displays, classical guitar, piano-instrumentals, classical, movie-soundtracks...
2. Good food with good company, and coffee afterwards. Not a very Malaysian thing, alas :(
3. My beauty-sleep:P (Gosh, eat and sleep - makes me sound pig-ish, no?)

Three places I love
1. Ireland
2. Penang
3. London (probably because of the sentimental memories these places bring...)

Three things I hate
1. Giving up 
2. Sinning and grieving God
3. smelly toilets

Three things I don't understand
1. Anything to do with wires and their connections... 
2. Finance, marketing and accounting mumbo-jumbo
3. Why God made me the way I am...

Three things I must have on my dressing table
1. My paraphernalia of toiletries, i.e facial products, lotions, eye-brow tweezers, perfume, etc, etc (I'm a girl, ok!) 
2. My make-up bag 
3. Alot of photos and inspirational notes from my friends and family

Three things I do first thing in the morning

1. Snooze my alarm clock for an hour or so... 
2. Roll all around my bed and reluctantly roll off the side...
3. Sneeze and blow nose...

Three things I do before I go to bed

1. Read 
2. Set alarm clock 
3. Pray

Three things I am doing right now
1. Not working (how else would I be doing this tag?)
2. Trying to get into a book 
3. Wondering if I should start doing sit-ups... 

Three things I want to do before I die
1. To have raised up God-fearing children...
2. To have invested in whatever gifts/talents God's given me for His kingdom

3. Travel all around Europe (I regret not doing that when I was studying in Dublin)

Three things I can do
1. Make cards/deco items out of recycled stuff... (duh, doesn't everyone?:D)
2. Stay at home the whole day
3. Eat (I can really eat:P)

Three things I can't do
1. Accounts... 
2. use a sewing machine:P I can hand-sew though.

3. Live in a dusty environment...

Three things I am trying to do
1. Save money
2. Maintaining my weight below 55kg
3. To study God's Word more diligently... 

Three favourite memories of my childhood
1. Family trips
2. My mother
3. gymnastics training and missing school for competitions:P Yipeedoo! Haha...

Three cartoons I watched as a kid
1. Maya the Bee
2. Tom and Jerry
3. Mrs. Pepperpot

(Ok, I hardly watched cartoons, btw)

Consider yourself tagged!:)

Missing someone...

I miss you, Ji!:) *Big, wide grin* Can't wait to catch-up soon! The countdown has begun!

Love, Gracey mei

Potato Pig?

I know this is random...

But I have a feeling that my boyfriend was the one who renamed my thumbdrive 'Potato Pig' without my knowing...Hmph...:P

Argh! Budgetting!!

Such a terribly difficult yet amusing part of my preparation for the seminary.

My leaders asked me to write-up a budget of my estimated annual/monthly expenditure for June onwards, when I'll start studying at the seminary - this is for the purpose of a proposal for sponsorship in the next LCEC meeting, end of March.

With much effort, stress and many days of scratching my head, I worked out a budget that's supposed to cover my annual school fees, books, stationery... then monthly expenditures, etc. Then I emailed my pastors, leader (Daniel), and dad.

Breathed a sigh of relief... La di da dum...

But...

...guess what? Looks like I'll have to work on the budget again! *half wailing and half screeching with laughter*

My dad, being a wonderful dad, quickly replied my email telling me that my budget was too low. Haha:P He suggested a few things that I forgot to think about. Insurance, car maintenance... then he said that I was spending too little on groceries, food and nutrition...

Rather bewildered, I asked Daniel what he thought about the budget... He also said the food part's too low. I cracked up with laughter when he told me, "You need a healthy "temple of God" to do kingdom purpose!!!!! So please..."

Then the funnier part came. I passed my budget to my beloved, very willing 'consultant' Pig... and asked her to work on it. Asked her to put in whatever she thought necessary (btw, she's really good in this! - she took less than one quarter of time I took coming up with the amounts...since I feel so bad everytime the budget for one area hits RM200) When she was done... I GAPED at the amount! Impressed that she could think of so many things that I couldn't - that's what friends (pets?) are for - and traumatized at the same time.

Btw, this earned that loudest guffaw... You have no idea how the walls of the church office shook with my laughter... (Ok, abit of exaggeration there - but just to let you know how tickled I was...)

This is exceedingly and abundantly more than what I could ever muster up the courage asking or imagining!:P It's like asking for a pay-rise by 100%

Gives you an idea how jimat-cermat I've been (trying to be) so far. :P

After that, Pig suggested that I should have an extra budget for a pet - i.e. A PIG. Such an ingenious, brilliant idea, don't you think?:P Then I can bring up my food budget a little more...

Overwhelmed... :/

Today's been a rather solemn day. Even now, I still feel a little ... *like that* Overwhelmed. Affected. I'm not really depressed. Just... um, overwhelmed and a little troubled.

Went out for dinner with Rachel, after I had finished printing the Sunday bulletins - and just before she went for a music/worship practice at her church in town. We ate at Sakae Sushi in Gurney Plaza (I don't know why people are so kind to keep wanting to treat me sushi!). It was a good meet-up. I'm always encouraged whenever we are both able to make time for that...Coz she's always busy when I am not... and vice versa. We had a serious talk. I'm glad we did.

She was funny. Wouldn't let me pay the bill, insisting that as long as I'm still doing FTM and not married - she wouldn't allow it. (She's 2 years younger than me somemore...) And then, when I still didn't want to give her the bill (was holding on to it for my dear life and sitting on it, just so that she wouldn't get her hands on it), she threatened, "If you like that, next time we eat nasi lemak!" ~ Goodness! I burst out laughing so hard (with green tea in my mouth) - then she grabbed the bill and paid for the meal.

Alamak. Aduhai. Apatah dayaku!

Had a walk by myself in the mall after she had left. Feeling much better. Am so thankful for the friends God's given me.

Ministry bytes...

I'm writing this in response to something I got out of my quiet time yesterday and today.

Was praying for a few beloved people yesterday evening... when the Lord brought upon me the grieving conviction of how little thought I give sometimes, to empathizing with Him.

Many times I rush into praying for the needs of any particular person... then I keep going on and on, forgetting to be quiet and discerning to His heart. What a bad habit!

Interceding for others does not merely mean to sit through the hours, uttering repetitive prayers - but it calls for us to take His yoke, to bear God's burden for someone, to share His heartbeat and to lament in silence, moaning or even tears over the things that matter more than anything, to the Lord Himself. Neither is intercession just hastily saying a "Bless him" prayer for someone whom He's placed in our hearts, then returning to attending to our own businesses. I'm not saying here that we can't say quick prayers for others, in between our packed schedules. There's always a place for that, and all prayers count. But let us, perhaps, take the promptings of God more seriously. We cannot only want Him to share our pains and sorrows for people - but we've got to share His pains and sorrows for these as well! Learn to ask Him, why the burden for that particular someone?

Intercession is ultimately a lifestyle of ministry to God's own heart. May our public ministry to others only be out of overflow of us having first identified with the His yearnings for these souls.

On the other hand, today, I'd like to pray with my brothers and sisters who are suffering or struggling with all kinds of trials - be it barrenness, rejection, betrayal, hurt, loneliness, persecutions and losses:

May God not only comfort and help us in His all-sufficient grace and unfailing love. But may He also enlarge us in our distresses - our sensitivity to His beloved voice, as well as our spiritual capacity to listen and share in His sufferings; His waitings; His anguish, heartache and grief over the fallen world and lost souls He came to save. As we turn our hearts and priorities back to God, may the joy of the Lord strengthen us again and renew that purpose-driven life He's called us to live.

Last but not least, as we break into our spiritual destinies of which there can be no other ways of achieving except having been prepared through personal pain, sorrow, losses, and identifying with the Lord through suffering, may there be raised up amongst us: many Moses-es, Davids, Samuels, Isaiahs and Jeremiahs who would lament together with God over the things they see in the church/in the world that would break His heart... Mary's who would go all the way to break vials of fragrant sacrifice and pour themselves at His feet.... Annas and Simeons who'd serve, worship the Lord and effectively minister His grace to others even in old age... Etcetera.

In Jesus' name, amen.

Book review...

I'm currently reading a great book written by Susan Tang - entitled, 'A Monumental Work: Ministry to God'.This was just one of those books I couldn't really get into the first time I read it. (But that's the way all Susan Tang's books are for me - have to really let it sit for a while, chew and digest.) I read it one year ago, on a bus-trip back to KL. It is a much treasured gift from a very dear brother-in-Christ, BT, for my 24th birthday. (I keep forgetting I've already turned 25!)

Today, I decided to pick it off my book shelf and re-read the book. What a difference a year makes to my point of view! :P Found it an exeptionally good read today. I'm already halfway through the book already!

I like what she wrote about how ministry to people would be empty if we do not first learn to minister to God's own heart. And if it does not come through our willingness to 'break and pour' and the inner resources of a pure passion for Him that transcends all intellectual discernment and judgement.

I find it so inspiring to read her testimonies. It has truly challenged me to step out of my comfort zones and to work on deepening my relationship with the Lord... especially as I prepare myself to enter the seminary in June this year.

A must-read for those who are in a full-time Christian vocation, those who are considering FTM... and all others who yearn to serve the Lord with all their hearts.

What I liked about it: Bright yellow book cover, Easy-to-read fonts, the important points were bolded and underlined, everything was precise and easy to understand. Also, the relevance it bore to the Church of Malaysia.

What I disliked about it: nothing

Brain dead...

I'm totally in need of more mental exercise!!! Post-graduation break was a good rest, after months and years of brain saturation...but after 3 quarters of the year being in a sorta confused state, and not intensively working at something specific is finally taking its toll. Feels like Fe2+ is slowly being oxidized to Fe3+ in my brain:P i.e. brain rusting. Bleargh.

What an interesting life.

I tried remembering some medical terminology a few days ago - and to my utmost horror (sorry for being a drama queen!), I realized that I'd forgotten how to say 'medial deviation of big toe' in Latin! It was only after remembering 'hallux', and googling it, I stumbled upon the word I wanted to use - hallux valgus!

I immediately went 'valgus, varus, valgus, varus', superbly relieved to have unknotted the kink in that part of my memory.

*Grips head in hands, and gives a silent scream*

It's not that my work is a no-brainer. I like the fact that I am learning much from being CMC, even if it's not academic. It's just that... it doesn't really require that much studying yet or teaching, deep thinking or processing loads of information in the head - and there mostly alot of short spurts of brain work...and alot more repetitive processes, whenever I share the admin load... so I spend most of the day busy... but not busy using my brain the way I'm inclined to. There's not much space for creativity too. I'm just not that equipped in too many places for that sort of application. Not much training is needed for what I'm doing either. Then in the evenings, I'm so tired that I don't even want to pick up any heavy, factual sort of book to read... plus I need time to spend in prayer too - and with people that matter ... until Monday.

How much reading can one do in just one day?!?

O well, there's always a time for everything. Better savour all I can from this season, before it passes!

Sigh. I think I'd never survive as a rich tai-tai portrayed in the HK TVB dramas...with maids to wait on me, and nothing to do the whole day, except go out for yam char with people, sit in hair saloons, read magazines, bake cookies and play with my toy poodle. I used to think how fortunate these people are - but now, I realize that I'm not really suited to that kind of life. I'd be really bored to death!:P (Oklar, to be fair, not all rich tai-tai's are like that also, nowadays...)

Now... if I were to be a home-maker, however...I would be glad of that. But I'd want to home-school my kids if I can afford to, and work from home. Write, perhaps... and be involved in ministry, definitely.

I just thought I'd better start studying something light but specific from now onwards and get my cerebrum properly activated - just so that when June finally arrives, I'd not be still trying to warm it up!

Retaliate not...

Smoky eyes. And there's nothing cosmetic about it. Black-eye rings. Very glamorous.

Something that touched me that day. 1 Peter 3:8-9 - 'Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate, be humble. Do not repay evil with evil, or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.'

Something I'm still learning... To bite back retaliation, at the sting of insult. When the words of others (especially loved ones) rub salt on old wounds that are still healing. To pray for those who've let me down. To afford to be gracious and charitable to those who've been mean and unreasonable.

Not totally successful yet. Countless failures. I'm getting there. But yet a long way more to go. I guess the key to that is humbling oneself before the Lord and revering Him. Having the joy of the Lord in one's heart.

"But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear their threats. Do not be frightened. But in your hearts, revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." (1 Peter 3:14-16)

What a brilliant reminder!

A big sigh of relief...

Phew! Phew! Phew!

Today, praise God... Affidavit's finalized, signed under the Oath of Commissioner, and sent to wherever the destination's supposed to be. I hope I don't have to have anymore to do with it. Threw it into the Pos Expres letter box at the post-office today, and walked out feeling like a whole load has been lifted off my shoulders.

Easter's four weeks away! Mrs. C's concert was just over today - which means we get to learn a whole new repertoire of songs tomorrow. That's so fun!:) We had a post-concert celebration at Raffe's (thanks Daniel for the treat). Hehe. So much for my resolution to fight the flab. But I guess it was really worth it.

Stress levels have gone down a bit. Now for those reports...and I've gotta work on my budgetting for June onwards.

It has been a good few days of being refreshed in the Lord... Being in the choir ministry and preparing for the concert together with the rest, through His Word and His servants through whose actions and words I was reminded to serve Him joyfully, and some humbling moments. Learning what it means to serve God all over again... Feel alot of zeal and passion coming back. Sometimes it is surprising what little it takes to discourage - and how quick the Enemy is to rob us of our peace and joy in the Lord. But ultimately, God is not mocked. It is even more breath-taking when He uses what the Enemy meant for evil to milk out every marrow of blessing the circumstance can bring; to make all things work together for good - exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ever ask or imagine. How faithful the Lord is to remind us, when we are all distracted and disheartened, to keep our eyes on Him alone. To truly live for Him.

I'd like to serve God with more zeal in my heart. Lord, help me.

Last but not least, to my family I dearly miss...thank you for teaching me what it means to love.

Weekend pictures...

Church on Sunday...and my 3-services shift.Below: The Sanctuary... sorry senget... (can't remember which service was this!)
We had to go to mini Taman Negara in the evening, after the 5pm service had ended... and thus began someone's gardening/care-taking duties...Thank God for rain...that some flowers are starting to bloom again in that place... Really pretty flowers too. However of course, as a result of the rain, the mosquitoes were lurking everywhere... and they strangely decided to attack my knees, for curious reasons. And I was itching in that odd place after treading around the garden.

Phew!!!

At night, we went to eat Indian Food at the newly opened Kapitan opposite Queensbay Mall! The Nasi Briyani was fabulous, I tell you! And so was the tandoori chicken. Those in Penang who stay close enough...please, do, do... go and try out the tandoori and rice:P I badly craved somemore after we were done.

Monday: Off-day...
I had things to do in the morning...then in the afternoon, I had to go and get my burn-out sizzled down on my own.
Then we had a final choir rehearsal last night - Wesley and Trinity Methodist Church Penang, combined.My goodness. It lasted till nearly midnight! All for tonight's concert. I felt most sorry for Mrs. Chan, our guest trainer. She looked so wiped out at the end, correcting all our flaws...It was a most interesting effort, combining with another church's choir. And I did enjoy learning from Mrs C, despite my voice nearly kaputing at the end...and all the post-practice headaches.

After the practice... I had to go refill my petrol tank... (It was way, way empty! - I panicked all the way to the petrol station). And look what I found? A huge locust! As large as my thumb... hmm, perhaps a little larger... (and I think I have a huge thumb, ok!)

Back to work...today....