Day 2 of Joy Camp...

Somehow, today I feel much better than yesterday. Although the kids were no less mischievous, I'm starting to like them. Guess they are also growing more used to me... and were a little more submissive than yesterday. Hehe. The boys were much nicer too. Praise the LORD. *exhausted grin*

Day 2 worship, skit and object lesson. Participants in yellow. Helpers in blue (consist of the youths from MYF, Youth counsellors, aunties who attend the 1st service and Sunday School teachers).My 'prefect' duties again - to sit with the kids and go, "Ssssssh" at regular intervals. Keep them attentive and from fighting or playing during worship/lesson times too...

*Glug, glug, glug* This boy was very thirsty I think... he kept drinking throughout the hall session... I'm not sure if he had to go to the bathroom halfway through...

Arts and crafts... and the students in my class...

The little girl in my class whom I really sayang...

She's probably the most well-behaved, polite and proper 10-year-old I've ever met. She always thanks us with a sweet and grateful smile whenever we help her, never pushes her classmates around but helps those in need, is considerate and thoughtful, never sits in the seat of mockers or says anything bad back to anyone who taunts her (and believe me, some other children can say such nasty things at times!). Whenever she gets offended, she calmly says, "Hey, that hurts you know..." and just sits down quietly, recomposing herself. She takes a book wherever she goes, so that she can read when she's bored. (The Christian novel she is now reading is what I would read myself now! @_@). Her little sister is in the camp too.

The boys hard at work... I'm glad that they were so happy. Also, it warms my heart when they call me 'Teacher' and ask me for help :P Hehehehe....

What is that? :) ~ very creative... but um, I don't think you can burn the candle now...
(Dr. Mah and I are still trying to figure out if the glue is flammable ~ :P ~)

Above: How the candle-holders are supposed to look like...I feel like making somemore to decorate my house...

Games session again... The kids as usual took delight in shrieking at the top of their voices... their ears don't seem to suffer assault like those of the adults... As I was not in charge of helping out in the games and I decided that I'd protect my ear-drums, I stood a safe distance away... Should have thought of bringing ear-plugs...

*Excited*

The youths from the Youth Fellowship helping out...

PHEW. Glad Day 2 is over... One more day to go... God, thank You for Your joy which is my strength. Thank You for helping to stay patient and kind the whole day. Great is Your faithfulness.

Gotta prepare for EFCC graduation tonight at church, of which I am one of the graduants...

Update on eating disorders...

My old blog at www.xanga.com/gentlemelody84 was originally set up in year 2004 for the purpose of facilitating my healing from eating disorders. I blogged alot on the emotional and eating struggles of bulimia/anorexia nervosa (as well as other stuff related to my medical studies in Dublin and Penang... and eventually my calling into fulltime ministry) ~ rather than what I had for each meal like some of my dear friends are doing now. It would be even more interesting if I had - but well, I did not - and yet, of course, God glorified Himself no less through my journey and whatever part of it recorded in my blog. It was also through this blog that God graciously brought many (new) friends into my life, reminded me of His faithfulness when I read my old posts, strengthened my passion to write for Him, and unknowingly blessed others... (as I found out much later.)Since I no longer live the way I did when I had eating disorders, especially in the past 2 years, I hardly talk about my struggles with food nowadays. That is because I do not want to associate myself with the illness anymore. I've been healed indeed, by God's grace. However, I still update readers from time to time about my post-ED progress and what God has been doing in my life with respect to that... just to keep myself accountable - especially to those who have been faithfully following my blog and praying for me for years, my dear family and covenant sisters. Also, I hope that by doing so, readers and friends who still struggle with eating disorders would be encouraged to persevere, find hope in God and look forward to a life, post-ED. A beautiful one, that is.

So how am I doing today? :)

Physically...

I am no longer underweight or overweight. My weight does sometimes fluctuate (like that of healthy, normal women), but I have maintained it at a good 53-54kg for a year already. I hardly have gastritis/stomach problems nowadays, because I eat so frequently (LOL) and don't binge uncontrollably on junkfood, purge or abuse laxatives like I used to do. I can't remember the last time I had an acid reflux after a meal and I don't fall sick that often anymore... which is a very good thing, because I cannot afford to keep falling sick any longer, what with the very intensive fulltime M.Div program I am currently undertaking. Whenever I do, it is due to sleep debt... rather than disordered eating patterns.

I usually eat 5-6 meals a day - 3 main meals and snacks in between. This keeps my metabolism going, curbs carb-craving with well-regulated blood glucose levels, and prevents stomach problems. I occasionally allow myself junk food and fast food. (Yaay to Mcd's and all other fast-food, MSG and all!) I exercise 3 times a week - about 30 minutes to 1 hour per session - stretches, light dancing and squats - to help me keep fit. I have yet to improve on my sleeping hours (a little bit difficult, due to work); otherwise, I am doing quite fine.

Secondary to such wonderful progress, I am so much more productive in my studies and work now, have better quality of sleep and am more confident with my body. I can smile at myself in the mirror totally comfortable with the way I look (bulges, imperfections, body shape and all), feel good about dressing-up and look forward to going out with friends...whereas I used to shy away from such gatherings for a period of time, because I did not feel comfortable eating in public.

Mentally...

I am much stronger. I no longer obsess over calories, although I sometimes panic after an eating spree... In such occasions, I'd make an effort to shift my focus to the great time spent with friends/loved ones and what God has done among us, sleep and wake up happy again. I am enjoying my food and enjoying the ability to eat without being attacked by overwhelming guilt and condemnation later. While I may be really emotional (can't help it - it's part of my melancholy nature, and I am FEMALE) and depressed at times, my self-image has improved remarkably over the years... also thanks to the encouragement from friends and loved ones. Staying close to God and knowing Him a little more each day - I continue to grow more secure in His love. It is this love that dispels all fears... and has helped me overcome my fear of food and weight issues. While I respond to Him in worship and adoration, I am slowly but surely discovering how fearfully and wonderfully He's made me - and using the very gifts He's given me to serve Him with joy. It is truly a blessed life - despite its fair share of challenges and difficulties...

To those who always affirm me... especially my dear sister, Zoey, who's been 'walking' with me through thick and thin... thank you, people. To those who have been praying, God has indeed answered many prayers! :) And lastly to those who've always lent me shoulders to cry on - I'll never forget it.

Praise God for everything.

Joy Camp begins today...

This reminds me of my prefect days back in high school...when I used to sit behind all the students during the school assembly, to catch people who buat bising and tell them to senyap.

*Grits teeth, silently screams and endures*

Kids are cute. They make the funniest statements. They can look like angels. But they also can be bundles of naughtiness, mischief, snotty noses and smart-aleck-ness... Spoiled brats too... seriously. ARGH. Not all. Just a handful.

I feel like I have been so bullied today... I'm not sure if I will ever make a good school teacher. But oh well... some form of hands-on training is always good. 2 more days to get myself used to them.

I always feel so bad and guilty whenever I have to give someone else's kid the stern look and tell him firmly to stop misbehaving/disrupting the rest of the group. Can't be all nice and smiley there... or they will take advantage of that. Stare-downs don't work on the older kids though. The group Dr. Mah and I were teaching consisted of 10-11 year olds. It can get a little out of control at times, because some think that they are too smart to listen to what you say.

One kid was rather resentful... I got rudely pummeled by his fists! :( That was the end of me telling him to stay in the hall during games session and not wander around the church grounds. I left him to check out the caterpillars in the bushes nearby, keeping an eye on him... just in case he got kidnapped... @_@ Sigh. (I am so, so glad that he's not in my class!:P)

Sigh, at least there are many good and well-behaved children to balance it out...

Don't know what makes the little boys sooooooo energetic! Is it what they put into their milk powder nowadays?

Was exhausted after the first day had ended. Will try again tomorrow.

Taking a breather in the car...

recap. 11th Mar 08...

Today I am afraid...

of what the future holds

But I know God takes my hand

And leads me to places yet untold...

May I keep my eyes upon Him

As a weaned child contented be...

Not to fret, not to rush,

or not to puzzle over things too wonderful for me.

Be steadfast my soul,

Be still - and wait...

Be asleep in His will like a child

The Lord is never too early nor too late...

Today I am afraid..

of what the future holds

But I know He takes my hand

And leads me along this narrow road...

Monday and a provision...

How I started my day - Coffee and prayer journal... Now, my ears are still ringing from the coffee (had no idea that it was so strong)...

Was at church this morning for a Joy Camp meeting... Had to try my hands at creating the crafts we are going to teach the children to do in the next 3 days... to avoid any blurness tomorrow, as much as possible...It was quite fun. Arts and crafts are therapeutic - no matter how simple! Above are 2 Peg Joy Dolls ~ I'd love to make some to decorate my home too... Below is a cool candle-holder made out of recycled mineral water bottles...

Visited the Baptist Bookstore to get some stuff... Something really sweet happened today. I was upstairs browsing the shelves for good reads (as usual) and any useful textbooks to purchase for the sake of my studies. Found Dr. Bill Lawson's book on Biblical Interpretation: 'Ears to hear'...and was really contemplating buying it, since it's a very good book. Also I will be taking Dr. Lawson's BI classes next year onwards. Thought it would be a useful book to have.

While I was milling around that particular bookshelf, a middle-aged lady who had been there all the while, turned around and asked me if I was attending the seminary (there's honestly nothing on me that reads 'Seminary Student' - I seriously hope it's not my humongous eyebags that gave me away!) - and I said yes. Then she asked me how I was financing myself... and I briefly told her. Turned out that she's from Johor, works mostly in Subang Jaya in KL (where I live), and while she's 'passing through' Penang, attends Bukit Mertajam Baptist Church.

Then she smiled kindly at me and said, "Since you are trusting God to provide, put your book on my pile... let me buy it for you..." I was of course overwhelmed and so touched. I also didn't dare to show any interest in other books, till she had left the bookshop! :P

Thank you, sister Kua.

*Gulppppp* God thank You!

This is one of those many times when I feel so blessed for being 'poor' in the eyes of the world and being able to enjoy the beauty of God providing my needs mercifully, graciously and faithfully... even though I may not be a faithful steward of His gifts at times... @_@ God, help me be more faithful.

Putting on some happy pounds... :)

Firstly, some photos from our brothers' - (Yahaya and Mark) - birthday bash in Seoul Garden the other day...courtesy of Chik Bu :)

Us grabbing food from the buffet counter...

Our birthday boys...feeding one another birthday doughnuts...
...Love that lays down one's life for another ~
and puts doughnuts into the other's mouth....mmm.

Yahaya...you can see that he was really enjoying himself...

And so was Mark... (note that they were full to bursting when the pics were taken...having stuffed themselves with food, even after we had stopped long ago... Amazing appetite! Salute, salute!)

Happy birthday, guys!:)I actually look alot like my sister, Zoey, in this picture...right?

Ok...now moving on to my weekend...

It has been a fantabulous eating weekend... *grins* I want to put on some weight before I go back to KL (Ben's mum thinks I look sick and my dad is going to be like heart-broken if I go back looking haggard like this...:P) ~ I've got a little more than a month to recuperate after a very tough term... and not to mention - to prepare myself for an even tougher term ahead. No kidding! - Maklumlah, hati saya mengecut apabila melihat jadual mingguan untuk semester berikutnya.....

...still debating if I should cut my fringe... It's long... but it helps shade my face from extra sun (hate sunburn - don't mind getting tanned... but sunburned? ah, painful. Hate freckles too - which I seem to have no problem attaining)...
I just need it to grow thicker...Hair has been dropping like mad last term...

Something random: Praise God, I don't have a pimple problem... that's one less thing I have to worry about...

Really... I am convinced that something needs to be done to my hair and its straggly ends... even if it's the little snip-snipping I do above my kitchen sink...

It was also wonderful weekend because I was able to spend alot of time with my friends and loved ones... Sakae Sushi with CG mates, Hokkien service with the Wongs, eat-outs, movies (I finally watched 2012... not a bad movie, if you don't think of the illogical stuff but focus on human values... I know, I know... I am super sentimental... I cried....especially when it was time for the president to say goodbye to his daughter....>_<), etc.

Nearly all my assignments are done too! Yippeedoo! :D *prances about with joy*

Went on a potato chips craze...after a sushi feast too... I don't really know why... but... I was craving for salt!
Couldn't wait to dig in... *hands shaking already*Are we done? Can we start now?

But of course...
The weekend wasn't complete without some work...

Ooops, I kinda over-did Coffee bean this month... this was my 3rd time...
...Well, Ben had some company department function at RedBox, Gurney Plaza on Saturday...
I wasn't too keen on making my appearance there...
So I wandered around the Plaza for a while...
...and started gravitating towards Coffee-Bean
for that authentic Coffee affair...
...Did get some work done while waiting for Ben to be done with his function...
Of course, he later joined me...and we continued to sit there for a while...
to enjoy the ambience (and coffees)...me, work...
...and him, helping me with my work.. (amazing think-tank and ideas resource)

It felt a little like the good ol' times...
when he used to sit with me in the 24 hours Mcd's in Sunrise Tower to keep my company through the dreary late nights, while I was preparing for final med-and-surg exams...I love Coffee-bean...

Thanks, dear...I spy with my lil' eye...

That was a very brief description of my weekend... Refreshing. Foody. It's a great start to a holiday.

Too tired to type more! LOL.

Joy camp next week...and alot of other commitments... I am going to sleep early tonight. I have sore throat...and feel like I'm about to fall sick.

It's funny. How I always manage to get some throaty, voice ailment whenever I am about to be on vocallist's duty at church (even back in Dublin)... which is this coming weekend!

Thankful, 20th Nov. 2009...

Today, I am thankful that God helped my brothers and sisters complete their Music and Missions assignments, so that they could hand it up in time.