Evening Primrose Oil (a.k.a EPO)

Someone I was recommending EPO to recently implied that it is only good for the ladies - but the fact is - guys can take it too!

A summary of what I found out about EPO today:

EPO eases a variety of conditions, especially those resulting from an imbalance of essential fatty acids, inflammation of the skin, or an immune deficiency.

Alcoholism. EPO helps recovering alcoholics cope with withdrawal symptoms experienced during the first three weeks they stop drinking. Patients who take EPO may require fewer tranquilizers, and their livers may begin proper functioning more quickly.

Arteriosclerosis. When cholesterol, lipid, and calcium deposits line the arteries, causing them to harden, arteriosclerosis is the dangerous result. When combined with a low-cholesterol diet, EPO reduces risk of arteriosclerosis, probably because it contains anticlotting compounds.

Asthma. This disease causes wheezing and tightness in the bronchial airways. It's often triggered by an allergic reaction. People with asthma can breathe easier thanks to evening primrose leaves. They contain quercetin a good remedy for asthma and hay fever sufferers alike.

Benign prostatic hypertrophy (BPH). Evening primrose works for men as well as women. When the prostate gland becomes inflamed and grows larger in aging men, it can cause numerous side effects including urinary difficulties and impotence. This condition, BPH, is also called noncancerous prostate enlargement. Research indicates that 50 percent of men have some degree of prostate enlargement by age 50. Further, at least 90 percent of all men 70 to 90 years old, by some estimates, must contend with BPH and its symptoms. Thirty percent of them undergo surgery. Doctors take matters of the prostate very seriously because prostate cancer is the second leading cause of death in men of all ages. EPO was reported in the Journal of Urology to help prevent prostate problems because it acts as a powerful 5-alpha-reductase type II inhibitor, which helps reduce enlarged prostates.

Depression. Tryptophan, a chemical compound found in evening primrose seed, may help to alleviate depression, perhaps as well as--and surely as safely as--the synthetic alternatives, including Prozac. Tryptophan is a precursor of brain serotonin, known for its mood-boosting effects.

Diabetes. People with diabetes may experience a condition called diabetic neuropathy, which can cause loss of feeling in their extremities. Naturopaths often prescribe evening primrose oil because it's rich in tryptophan, which helps stimulate the central nervous system.

Eczema. EPO is approved in the United Kingdom to treat eczema, a skin condition that causes inflammation, redness, itchiness, burning, and scabbing. Studies on laboratory animals have shown that the seed oil can reduce swelling. Research shows the oil's GLA can be effective when applied to other skin irritations such as dermatitis.

Endometriosis. When the membrane that lines the uterus becomes inflamed, low back and abdominal pain, constipation, and vaginal discharge may occur. EPO can treat this condition.

High blood pressure. When blood pressure is higher than normal, the heart's workload is increased. EPO is effective in lowering both cholesterol and blood pressure.

High cholesterol. Elevated blood cholesterol levels can increase your risk for heart disease. The GLA in evening primrose is reported to lower cholesterol levels.

HIV. The life expectancy of HIV patients more than doubled when GLA and omega-3 fatty acids were included in their diets, according to studies done by researchers in Tanzania. These two compounds are essential to maintaining cell structure membranes and making hormone-like substances known as eicosanoids, which help regulate blood pressure, blood clot formation, blood lipids, and the immune response to injury and infection. The body can make all other fatty acids except for these two, which must come from the diet. EPO could also be good for autoimmune disorders.

Multiple sclerosis. Multiple sclerosis, or MS, is a chronic autoimmune inflammatory disease that affects the central nervous system, causing nerve damage, vision problems, and muscle weakness. EPO is recommended for MS by certain physicians.

PMS. Discomforts such as irritability, bloating, breast soreness, and depression occur before and during menstruation in many women. Clinical studies show that GLA found in evening primrose oil contains essential fatty acids that seem to alleviate symptoms.

Raynaud's disease. Raynaud's disease is a condition that causes a loss of blood flow to the fingers, toes, nose, or ears. The affected areas turn white from the lack of circulation, then blue and cold, and finally numb. When the attack subsides, the affected parts may turn red and may throb, tingle, or swell. Research on GLA suggests that it can help relieve these symptoms.

Rheumatoid arthritis. Patients with this condition complain of chronic inflammation, pain, and tightness in the muscles or joints. When given evening primrose oil in one clinical trial, patients showed significant improvement and experienced less pain and stiffness in the morning.

You can take evening primrose in two forms: as seeds, or preferably, as standardized supplements. Both contain GLA. Seeds. If you use the seeds of the evening primrose, grind them first with a mortar and pestle. Unmashed seeds may pass straight through the digestive system undigested, which means you may eliminate--quite literally--the health benefits. Supplements. You have to eat an awful lot of seeds to get the equivalent of a standardized supplement, and buying the herb in capsules, or in bottle form as an extract, at your health food store is a far more practical alternative. Suggested dosages are usually two 1,300-milligram capsules per day or up to four to eight grams of evening primrose oil daily.

EXPLANATION OF SOME MEDICAL JARGON... 3 ways EPO works: First, its oil (EPO) is rich in gamma-linolenic acid (GLA), a fatty acid essential to human health. GLAs help make prostaglandins, compounds that do important tasks such as regulating brain function, blood flow, gastrointestinal activity, fluid balance, and fat decomposition. There are only a few other food sources that contain large quantities: borage, black currant, hemp seed oil, and mother's milk. Second, evening primrose leaves are our best source of the bioflavonoid quercetin which are not produced by the human body but are found in many leaves, bark, seeds, and flowers. These protect blood vessels, aid in circulation, stimulate bile production, and lower cholesterol levels. The third major active ingredient in evening primrose is tryptophan, an amino acid. The evening primrose seed (though not the oil) is one of the better sources of tryptophan. Our bodies convert some of it into serotonin, a brain chemical, which acts as a natural mood enhancer and antidepressant.

Caution and contraindications:

EPO is generally safe and causes very few known side-effects. Still, keep an eye out for the following.

Headaches. Some scientific findings have shown that headaches and even nausea can occur in some people who take EPO.

Pharmaceutical alert. Schizophrenic patients on phenothiazines (Thorazine) may experience mild breathing difficulties or even increased risk of epilepsy, on taking EPO.

Pregnancy and lactation. EPO is generally given the go-ahead for breastfeeding mothers, since GLA is found in breast milk. However, it's probably better to check with your physician if you are pregnant or lactating.

Omer of Manna

I've been going through the prayer journals I've kept since 1st year of med school recently (I call them my 'Omers of Manna') - dog-earred notebooks, in which I've scribbled quiet-time pennings, thoughts and reflections on God's Word, convictions, my raves and rants (Obviously I do that more often than you thought! ~more so in my written journals), letters to the Lord, prayers for people, song inspirations, encouraging text messages from close brothers and sisters in Christ, etc. Sometimes, I put in photographs or little momentos (postcards, pictures hand-drawn by close friends) to thank God for the beautiful life He's given me to live.

I start a new one everytime the season changes.

Just started a new one a few days ago - and hence the reviewing of past journals.

What a progress of thought/spiritual maturity!:P I used to be really childish, I think. (I cringed to read some of the stuff I wrote - caught myself wondering if I'd think or react to circumstances the same way as I did, today. I honestly think God was there while I re-read my journals - how He must have smiled, amused. Super embarrassing la. Yet, God must have been so merciful and kind to listen to it all - throughout the years! Even the tantrums.) The year in which I must have grown the most - was 2007.

It was when the Lord brought into my life 3 amazing brothers (we started off as classmates, CF-mates and library-mates) - who eventually became some of my closest friends back then. It was also through these, I learned to love, forgive and live.

One is a pastor's son who taught me alot from Spurgeon's writings and his dad's sermons - he also very kindly and sacrificially came to my place at 8.45am every Sunday morning to fetch me to church for 9am services, even during our exam periods. It always meant that he had to leave his house at 8.30am. We'd give one another morning calls on Sundays, coz we are the type of people who just can't wake up in the mornings, after late nights! He's really funny. But when he's serious, he is very, very serious.

Another one (whom I affectionately call tai lo), I got to know because we were both posted to Kubang Pasu (Kedah) for a 3-week rural posting, on the same team. He's the best asst.team editor I've ever had so far. He made my work so much easier even on the nights we were up til' 4am doing work. I don't know how we became such good friends, but we did. He eventually became my partner-in-ministry (guitarist) when I served as WC in the college Christian Fellowship. Indeed he's seen me, stuck with me and prayed for me throughout my various emotional roller-coasters. Was elated everytime I was happy (he'd celebrate with me by taking me out to Mackers!:P) and gave me a shoulder to cry on whenever I was down. Having seen him grow in his own walk with God was a beautiful testimony I still hold on to. Now I really miss him alot.

The third guy (Lyd you know him too!) - is a man after God's own heart, with the quietest and gentlest spirit I had ever known. He was really excellent in his studies - and yet, he encouraged me in the way he seemed to draw others to Christ, by just being a quiet example to everyone. Whenever he served God, he gave his very best...

Ok, that was a trip down memory-lane. I digressed.

I like it that writing the OM brought me so much closer to God. It was through this past-time, I learned to pray and pour out my heart thoroughly to Him, especially when spoken words fail me. (they always do, btw).

It was also great to back-track and remember God's faithfulness to me in every season. Financial provisions for med school, healing, amazing friends, my covenant sisters in Singapore, comfort for heartaches, exam wilderness-es, life-directions, etc. I've indeed come so far from where I began, by His grace alone - and I'm so glad that many parts of this journey have been captured and recorded into these dog-earred notebooks!

I pray that I'll never stop writing.

*Groan*

Can I go home yet?

Unwell randoms

Hormonal-induced dyspepsia, flatulence, nausea and cramps... *sweat* Is there an MC for that?:P

Oh well. At least bah-zhang-face is going to subside soon. *Sucks in cheeks and nods furiously* Thighs are already starting to shrink at least! Sigh, the woes of water retention.

Don't know if the EPO (Efamol's brand) I've been taking for a month plus by now actually works! (If you are wondering at my new-found consistence with supplements, I must really credit it to my dad! He was the one urging Zoey and me to take our EPO regimes seriously - when I went back to KL for Chinese New Year. I don't know if Zoey did, but I am!:P) How come semuanya sama saja?:P Well, at least - it's been working wonders on my skin! I've never really had skin problems - except that ocassional zit on the face, and eczema on my limbs at certain seasons of the year - but the EPO actually makes the skin supple and so much finer, smoother and plumper. And I have a feeling it has actually been increasing the effectivity of the skincare products I use.

Hehe. So ladies, upgrade your beauty regime with EPO! And more important than anything - the Word of God!:)

(Having said that - to my pregnant girl friends, please do check with your obstetrician/medical practitioner first, prior to using EPO.)

Neutral ground?

Do our actions, words and day-to-day decisions draw others to ponder with awe-filled fear and curiosity - upon why is it Jesus we choose to make a stand for? Or have we grown so complacent in our stand, that we are glorified in the eyes of the world as nice, agreeable, practical Christians who have no problems conforming to and fitting into it, with its many norms and cultures? Do we make compromises, being ashamed to own our Lord or defend His cause?

God forbid. We cannot be merely signposts that point people, "That way to heaven," but at the fork of the road, may we also stand firm on the narrower path less taken, that men may only either choose to stand facing Christ in us... or to turn their backs and bid us farewell - perhaps forever.

Jesus did not command us to be nice people so that we can please everyone. Christ Himself lived for the favor of His Heavenly Father. This caused many to love Him - and yet, many more to hate Him. In the end, His life left all men with the need to make a decision, with no neutral ground to stand. Such is a life of impact.

God, help us.

Dinner with Yvonne

Went out for dinner with Yvonne (former housemate back in Dublin and PMC-mate) this evening.

We still make it a point to meet up once in a while to eat together, catch-up and fellowship, even after I left PMC. It's so weird that every time it's time for us to meet up again, we will both be craving for sushi. Hehe - so we guess what? We ate at Gurney Plaza's Sakae Sushi for our 3rd meet-up in a row. Now I feel like I've overloaded myself with sushi this week (since I had sushi on Monday too with Ben and the Cheahs)!

It was a good catch-up session. Yv's sitting for her med, surg and GP finals this June, so she's all stressed out and tired-looking. It was good to see the sushi put a smile on her face again!:P Hehe. Love you, Vonzie!

After dinner was over, and we had parted ways, I went window-shopping at Watson's and Guardian's downstairs. Haha. Now, I'm back home... and about to attend to my laundry.

Can you imagine? It's Friday tomorrow! AGAIN!

Touched

"Return to your rest, my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you."
(psalm 116:7)

God has been really gracious to me.

A few of my dear friends have been generously and sacrificially putting some contributions towards my study fund recently. (You guys know who you are:) Thank you so, so, so much.)

Today, I received a text from tailo KY (a much beloved brother in Christ, who's currently working at Ipoh GH) at lunchtime. Shocked me it did. (Shocked as in terkejut, ok) Ok, to be fair, he had texted me a few days ago asking me how much I needed, coz he'd contribute to my fund. Very touched, I just told him that I'd be glad and thankful with whatever amount God impressed upon his heart to give. Then I sorta forgot 'bout that - until he texted me back again today, telling me that he had transferred this amount of money into my account...

Overwhelmed, my eyes blurred. I couldn't believe what I saw. I stared at the amount...then I read his text over and over again.

I couldn't help blurting out, "My God..." The amount was of course much more than I could have imagined a person giving. What's more, he's only begun working a few months ago.

God, thank You for tailo. I pray that You would bless him back manifold for so obediently blessing me. Thank You, Lord, for Your love and provisions this far.

I feel rich. In the Lord.

Post choir-practice

Choir practice - exhausting! The new song was weird. It's such a beautiful song... but the alto's part has got notes jumping in weird intervals, that it was so tricky to sing - and we had to repeat it again and again.

My voice is kaputed. A cough's started up - and my airways feel a little tight and inflamed. Gah. Good thing no wheezing.

Was reading some of my blog entries (back in my Xanga blog) which I put in a year ago. Sobered me up quite a bit. I like my blog entry on 29/2/2008, which goes:

'I can only look upon the once broken fragments of my life - and marvel at their seamless articulates I never thought possible. Contentment in God is a beautiful gift we can choose to own. It makes one thankful for the way he is today, and yet - deep down within, he knows, in faith, that there are so many even greater things in store! Unimaginable, undreamable, and almost unbelievable in the present. And yet, God had already mapped out the course of the most phenomenal things from the very beginning - even before any of our days came to be. Being 'sound asleep' and still in the will of God is a good thing. One is unconcerned of tomorrows, undistracted to adore the Lord, and the wait is sweet - because he knows that God does not withold good things from us. Great is the peace He gives to those who have learnt to rely on His faithfulness. God, make me content!

O children of God, seek Him first above all things! Revere Him. Love Him with all your hearts, minds and strength! It breaks my heart each time anyone says, "I was too busy, so I stopped going to church." Or similarly, "Exams are coming. I stopped going to church." Why do we pursue the worldly games of gain and give ourselves to toiling in vain for things that are not permanent? Work if you must. Study if you must. Do well in your exams. If you have a family, bring up your children excellently, serve your spouse. Give your best. Be excellent by all means, in whatever field. But, let not all these cares, concerns and the pursuit of excellence steal away our zeal for God, and our discernment for His calling upon our lives! Where is the gladness and amazement we once possessed, when He first revealed Himself to us? Let us not forget. May we not lose the wonder.

I'm growing to love my walk with God more and more. My prayer would be that He would give me the diligence and faithfulness to put Him first, before everything else - despite my busyness and how caught up I am with work, relationships, ministry, etc. In season and out season. May I be consumed in the pursuit of the Lord. This is the fuel for Your flame, O Lord. I gladly burn.

This is my heart...

Be enthroned within

This is my soul...

Lord, break me in

This is my hand...

Fill it that I can give

This is my life...

For You alone I live

These are my dreams...

Yet greater things are in store

This is Your heart...

Let me know it more."

Holiday Mood...

I want to go on a long holiday.

Go sight-seeing, take pictures, eat weird local food, etc, etc... Take a long break. Retreat, reflect on my walk with the Lord, rest and relax, sleep (ok, I know... I already sleep alot anyway - what could be more?:P ~ I suspect I'm still suffering from 5 years of sleep debt!), etc...

I mean LONG BREAK. I've not had one the whole of last year. I started working 2 weeks after graduation, after 6 months of strict brain saturation, very little beauty sleep, zombifying in the mornings, dragging my feet around the PGH wards (literally), hibernating in my dim room with its faked out lights and depending solely on a table-lamp for illumination, spending nights at Mc-donald's with one very sacrificial person (guess who??) who didn't mind sitting with me so that I could study till the wee hours in the morning (faciliated by caffeinated drinks) and not fall asleep until I had gotten my work done, emotional roller-coastering, loads of decisions to make, etc... You name it. The months that remained of year 2008 were filled with even more challenges.

My oh my...last year sure felt long. *Peers at eye-bags and shakes head*

Just met up with one of my juniors from PMC recently... Now, I've not seen her since July 2008... And she thinks I've changed (and aged)... My voice has changed too. (I just hope that it doesn't mean that I sound like an old woman - coz it's even lower than it used to be). Bleargh.

How encouraging.

Anyways, I digressed. Now that's over, I'd like to go to a place - where there's mountains, beaches, country-side and city combined. There must be good food, nice people, interesting places to visit...and it must not cost too much - coz I'm really on a tight budget. Haha. Anyone knows of such a place?

Choir practice tonight. Why do I feel that my voice is kaputing?

Tuesday, 24/2/2009

God is amazing...

I was a little gloomy and depressed the whole of yesterday. Ok... 'a little' is an understatement. Very gloomy and depressed was more like it.

Firstly, it was because I was not sure if my applications for MBTS had reached the place safely, since I kirim-ed the whole parcel of forms, photostated academic certs and postal order of registration fee last Tuesday. So I asked God to let me know at least, if they had received it.

Secondly, I felt like I had lost some sense of purpose for my life. Been feeling like this all throughout this transition period of 6 months...what with all my former college-mates going to do their housemanship and me not seeing myself in that at all, the time of waiting to see if I should continue with my housemanship or go straight into ftm, then of course there were some very discouraging resistance that came from sadly, some of my own church members about me going into fulltime ministry (especially the more elderly ones) - which is fair... Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinions - and I understand where they were coming from...but it disturbed me whenever they tried to impose on me that I should go into housemanship, without even trying to understand my situation or offering to pray for me at least.

The hardest part about the past 6 months was to walk on without a clear vision of what life had in store for me, try to listen to God above all the voices of many others and to try convince myself that I wasn't deluded as some may have suggested I am!

I'm fully thankful for spiritual sisters and brothers, (and Pastors) who diligently kept me in prayer and greatly encouraged me especially in the past few years.

So yeah. Anyways... Everything peaked yesterday. The emotional exhaustion, etc.

God always speaks on time.

Last night, I received an email from Laura jie. (You see, once they receive my application forms, they'd email the references I had put into the form - people who'd be able to comment on my suitability for ftm, personality, spiritual gifts, involvement with church, etc. Church leaders and two close friends. I had to have 5 references) Laura bcc-ed me what she wrote, just to encourage me... So sweet of her.

I heaved a sigh of relief. For one thing, it meant that they had received my applications.

Then after I had gotten over the fear of having my application parcel get lost in the mail, I started relaxing a little, and reading her evaluation of me.

Then guess what? I started tearing and sobbing out loud in front of the PC screen, overwhelmed - because I knew it was God reminding me of many things through Laura's simple words.

I'll attach the email part (not the evaluation form) here - not because I'm proud of myself in any way - I'm not - but because it was God who'd made me adequate in Him. Without Him, I could do nothing. You must remember - that I was suffering from eating disorders all that time, back in Dublin. All glory to God alone.

"Dear Reverend,

I attach my recommendation of Grace Moo to your college. I recommend her to you with much pride and joy.

Grace is a precious, covenanted sister of mine whom I have known when she first started her medical school in the Royal College of Surgeons (Ireland). During the 2.5 years when she was there, she attended Every Nation Church with me and it was then that we developed a very close friendship. She has faithfully served in the worship team with me each week and met with all the demands with much meekness. I have attended countless leadership meetings, prayer meetings, outreach events etc. with her. She is a very lovable girl. Most of all, she has shown me sacrificial love in praying and fasting for my sick mother; and sensitivity in the spirit in giving me rhema encouragements when I needed them.

God's calling on her life is evident through her giftings and talents. I pray that she will go from strength to strength as she obediently follows Jesus.

Laura Kasenda (Wong)

Tabernacle of Christ Church (Singapore)"

Sobbed and sobbed somemore, as memories washed over me. Dearly missed Laura's mum too - who had gone to be with the Lord. And then, I felt God speak into my heart...

Grace, you remember all these things, don't you? So why give up now?

My Weekend

Saturday's Highlight: Went to Cameron Highlands...

We started out from Penang (3 cars of us) at 6am on Saturday morning. There were 10 others on the trip - to check out the camp site for church family camp in June.

The sun rises...Ben the driver of my Proton Wira... We decided not to car-pool with the rest of the people (even while my car was the most 'power-less' to climb Cameron Highlands...) because I was afraid of being carsick and throwing up over the laps of the other aunties and uncles... Speaking of which - I don't know why, it was only recently that I've gotten carsick in cars. Before this, I was a pretty good passenger.Rise and shine! It's time for breakfast!!!

Stopping at the Sg. Perak rest area (convenience store) for breakfast. FYI, we didn't eat the Twisties for breakfast...they just happened to be in my picture...

Poor Oreo. Think he was car-sick!:P He must have been whimpering on my lap... because Ben kept smacking him when he tried to manja-manja with Ben, while he was driving. Haha.
(Good imagination, huh? But Ben did smack Oreo just to have the fun of seeing me fiercely, protectively protest.)

Approaching Brinchang...

I later took over the wheel from a very sleepy Ben, and let him nap while my car crawled up the steep highland roads. Literally. Haha.

We checked out the potential campsites, talked to the hotel managers, etc. After that, we all went for lunch together at Tanah Rata.

Then of course, Ben and Aunty Angeline (one of the church aunties that went along) went gah-gah over the flowers growing everywhere! *Click!Click* went the cameras. I was more amused over their antics than anything else.

The flowers were beautiful. Indeed God had fearfully and wonderfully made each one of them. Can you imagine, everyone of them does not escape the attention of its Maker. Later Mel joined in....

We were mesmerized by the scenery, more than anything... Then we had to go back to Penang in the afternoon, coz we had cell group in the evening.

Sunday's highlights:

We had church in the morning...played keyboard for the 2nd worship service... After that we had to meet up with Uncle BK and Aunty AL, and then I had to rush back to church to play for P+W session of Alpha.

Evening saw me huffing and puffing at the Gym, eating dinner with Ben's parents (Ben had to attend Newcomer's Dinner at church, since he was one of the organizers and he's got his CG to introduce to new comers), and bumming around out of exhaustion.

Sunday night treat, was to go for a ride on Ben's high-shot bike (yes, the one we escorted to Bkt. Mertajam for servicing 2 weeks ago - it's back!) around the QB/Bayan Lepas area. I used to be really terrified when he first put me on it, and whenever he zoomed round the corners... It makes you feel like you're going to fly off. But now, I'm starting to enjoy the bike rides.

On Monday, I went for my usual dayout and coffee-ing at my usual place - then in the evening, after Ben had gotten off work, we had dinner with Uncle BK and Aunty AL at Sushi King. Had a good time of catching up (as usual) and fellowship.

That was all for my weekend!:)

Natural laxatives...

Since I'm quite prone to constipation (it's a girl thing - guys are less susceptible), I'm always on a look out for remedies. I've found out what works for me... So far la.

1. Soybean milk - especially the kind you 'pow' from the powder form
2. Strawberries - a dozen of them
3. Milk and dairy products - cold - I'm a lactose intolerant... can only take milk up to certain amounts. After that, I'm headed for the bathroom..
4. Diet Coke - except I don't think this is healthy

The above all take immediate effects!

Abs...

My gym-enthusiast boyfriend demonstrated a abs exercise while I was watching, which looked super easy. (He has fantastic abs, btw.) I mean, he really made it look so easy!

I must mention here that I used to have a flat tummy, thanks to jazz dance-classes. Unfortunately, as the years slipped past, I stopped dancing and grew older...I regret to say, that I could do with a liposuction now:P Ok, it's not too bad. But as any girl would, I hate whatever that wobbles and jiggles at that place. Especially when it comes to the bloating time of the month!

Jogging and eating a little less does make the tummy flat again, kinda. But it doesn't stay.

So when I saw Ben doing his thing, I was sold. I asked if he could teach me to do that.

He made me lie at a 45 degree angle to the horizontal on a slanting bench, my head higher than my legs...then my hands had to grip on this pole thingy behind my head, I had to flex my hip and elevate my legs with my feet together, knees straightened out...

Holy cow!

I screeched in laughter coz I obviously couldn't even initiate the move. Thought I'd get a hernia from the exertion. Ben tipped his head on one side and looked amused. Tried to hide a grin and look sympathetic. I felt like a monkey in a zoo-cage, trying to impress its audience.

"Try bending your knees...then bring them to your chest."

Ok, this one sounded do-able. I mean, I can definitely hang from a horizontal bar, and bring my knees to my chest a good few times!:P

I tried it once, and screeched in laughter again. This was way harder than I imagined.

Sigh, in the end, I gave up doing his thing... and sigh... guess I'll have to go back to the stomach-crunches!

Friday morning blues

I'm cranky! Want to eat!!!:(

Rushed to office in the morning without breakfast, because I thought I had something on... then they postponed it. So now, I'm left idling with an empty stomach...while lunchtime is too far away.

Food, food, come to me...

Thoughtful Thursday

I lived today in many thoughts.

The people I know and love. The trials some are facing. Those ill with cancer. Those broken and contrite in heart. Some of whom I have no idea how to comfort, even while I struggle with my own sorrow of watching them in their agony and pain. It's one thing to tell them to trust in God - but I have failed, many times, in my own busyness - to just sit beside these and hold their hands. God, forgive me. Help me remember that I can still do something - pray.

My family. Imperfect in many ways, and yet, the joy of being together and being involved in each other's life. My dad - practical and yet caring. My late mum - every sacrifice she made, that drew me even as a child, to one day do the same for my own children as a mother. My sister - we've been close friends as kids, and now that we've both grown up - confidantes. I thank God for a family where love abounds. True, we've never travelled to many places in the world as a family, nor have we spent much time together since I left home. But, I still think of them every now and then - and the tears would fall... as they are falling. I miss home indeed.

My teenage years, which I've left far behind. The people who impacted me the most. My teachers. A pastor's daughter who was my classmate in high school. Some of the people in the school LEO Club back then, who've risen up as State MP's in Selangor.

The day I met tailo KY. He made fun of me and I was very annoyed I landed in the same public health group as him. Thought he was terrible. Later, as God had it, we became the closest friends and partners in ministry. I have not heard from him for a long time now, since he started working in Ipoh Gen. Hospital. Well, it's the same for many of my college friends who have started their housemanship. I realized recently, that perhaps, we've all moved on from our cross-roads. I've grown accustomed to having a new bunch of friends.

My churchmates. My leaders. My pastor. Penang. Ben.

Etc...

Choir practice

Changed my pillowcases, bedsheets, duvet cover, etc... and now, I'm sitting down with a running nose (I cannot tolerate dust!), sipping a cup of hot tea.

Had choir practice tonight... Which cheered me up loads. There's something about being there on Wednesday nights.

First of all, I love choir ministry because it's something totally different from CMC. And I don't have to do anything but read music scores and sing.

Secondly, the people are cute.

The uncles in the back row (who are the basses) make the most noise. They love poking fun at anything or anyone that catches their fancy. They groan and moan whenever Angeline, our choir director, makes us repeat our parts over and over again.

The aunties in front (the sopranoes) are quite obedient people. They present the main melody and message of each song. I don't remember if they've ever complained - perhaps they have but they seldom do. They love their pre- and post-choir chit-chats. I'm grateful that they do include me in their chit-chats whenever I look interested. They are quite a caring lot, I must say. And of course, the uncles sometimes do get their share of fun poking fun at the aunties.

The tenors and altoes consist of a younger generation of people.

Tenors, the men who sing a higher range of notes than the basses are always looking out for one another on their team - quite a united bunch. They are always happy and thankful whenever more of their members turn up for practices, and go, "There! Here comes our reinforcement!"

Last but not least, we have the altoes, who sit in between the bass uncles and tenors at the back row(s) and the soprano aunties. Pig and I belong to this group. It has been really fun!

Can't believe it - but I've been on the choir for a year already! How time flies!

My first church presentation with the choir last year was during Easter. I was the pianist then. Somehow, the songs still move me as much as they did last year. Whenever I hear them, I feel a deep sense of nolstalgia - because of the memories they stir up:) - My med and surg rotation. My close friends, Esther and Lucas (classmates and churchmates - Luk was in the choir too); we've parted ways after graduation. The dilemma with housemanship. The 'Sengoi Incident' (too personal to share). Last but not least - Ben... and his canggih black-rimmed glasses. (Don't tell him I wrote this - but I do think he looks so much better with his current pair).

Sigh. It's been a year. Can you imagine? One whole year.

A year ago...

Waiting

One of those days...when I just don't feel like doing a thing. And yet, I'm all restless and fidgety. Craving for coffee, books and holidays... Feel like doing crazy things too. (We'll leave out trimming my fringe this time, so no worries) For example, repainting my apartment, taking a bus to somewhere on my own just to sik fong, buying myself a potted plant, keeping a big dog in my apartment (I was inspired by Pastor Woo's cantonese dog today! It runs around freely in his house! OK, don't ask me why Cantonese. Ask Pastor. I think if I did keep a dog, it would commit suicide after a while, since there will be nowhere for it to run around...) and splurging on art supplies.

This time of waiting and so many uncertainties are kind of killing me (again), but I think God intends them for my own good. I am learning patience and trust. After all, I'm at least in a much better place than in August/September 2008. Those were probably the hardest months to get through last year, apart from June when I had my med&surg finals. Those months saw me very broken and hopeless indeed. I was glad and thankful for Pig - who sorta helped me get through those times.

Meditating on Psalm 107 today. It is something I always read during waiting seasons like this. Assures me that God is always faithful when we cry out to Him.


I really miss my sisters...Can Singapore come to me?:P (as in instead of me having to go down to Singapore?) Ji? Laura?

the remains of Tuesday

Despite the rain, it's been hot and humid - and guess what? I'm having another flare of eczema on my left arm. Darn!

My day has been rather depressing... I'm trying to enjoy what remains of it. Went downstairs to eat at the mamak stall (drank Iced Milo too!) instead of downing my usual nuts, seeds and grains with soy-milk, came back upstairs for a dose of quiet-time...then I savoured the therapeutic effects of crafting with cardstock and cutting instruments. Right now, I'm waiting for a phone-call, before I hit the sack.

I seem to have been facing quite a few discouragements in the past few days. Judgemental people (so what's new?). Ben reminded me of the story of Moses in Exodus 4. I read it up for myself today. One part especially comforted me: Verses 1-5:

Moses answered, "What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, 'The LORD did not appear to you'?"

Then the LORD said to him, "What is that in your hand?"
"A staff," he replied.

The LORD said, "Throw it on the ground."
Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it. Then the LORD said to him, "Reach out your hand and take it by the tail." So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand. "This," said the LORD, "is so that they may believe that the LORD, the God of their fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has appeared to you."

Later God also told Moses that He'd put His words into his mouth. I'm waiting for my 'staff'. It's sorta taking shape:) Hehe. Ignore this if you don't really know what I'm talking about. Just yesterday, the Lord showed me how dreadfully I can waver in my faith sometimes. Convictions have to be held onto more tightly. So what if people talk and say all kinds of things? Everyone's entitled to his or her own opinion. Just listen to those who know and pray for you. A boat without an anchor drifts in all directions according to the wind and waves. It never enters its rest.

A brother once told me before we parted ways... 'You must be confident of what you believe in. Once you are confident, and if persecutions were to tempt you to distraction, more than half the battle has been won.' Golly, how I wish I'd remember that in my interviews! (Memories of the interview with the PPRC last year, July - sends chills up my back!:P - I wish interviewers would not have to look so intimidating.)

Tomorrow's a busy day. I have to drive all the way to Lorong Bunga Pudak (that's in Tjg. Bungah) - hope I don't get lost. Coz Pastor's going to be taking a ride in my car to an elderly church member's house. Jeng Jeng Jeng! Super busy week on the whole. I have a headache thinking of the stuff I'll have to do. My weekend's going to be pretty packed too.

But seriously, what's my busyness compared to that of Uncle GC? Watching him still try to be cheerful and joyful in the Lord despite the stress makes me rather ashamed of my raves and rants. He's been good example for me indeed. I'm so thankful for people like that in my life. Helps me through the tough patches, they do - their encouragement, their godly examples, their wise words and their attempts to spunk me up. Haha.

Hope I wake up on the right side of my bed tomorrow...

I come against all spiritual attacks in Jesus' name!

G is the best alphabet

I'm doing this because Lydia tagged me:P

Rules:
It’s harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag ten to fifteen people. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real; nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can’t use your name for the boy/girl name question.

1. What is your name : Grace-melody

2. A four Letter Word : Goat

3. A boy’s Name : Gary

4. A girl’s Name : Geraldine

5. An occupation : Guard at the guardhouse:P

6. A color : Green

7. Something you’ll wear : Goloshes

9. A food : Guacamole dip for crackers...yummmm!

10. Something found in the bathroom : Gillette razor?:) Hehe. Germs, maybe.

11. A place : Greece

12. A reason for being late : Get up late:P (eh, it's true ok)

13. Something you’d shout : Golly-schmolly!!!

14. A movie title : Ghostbusters... Golly, i'm so lame.

15. Something you drink : Geng geng with ice...(The one with brown longans inside!)

16. A musical group : Gaither Vocal Band

17. An animal : Gorilla

18. A street name : Greenlane

19. A type of car : Galant

20. The title of a song : Great is Thy faithfulness... (I know this is so random!)

I tag Zoey and whoever who reads this...

A series of unfortunate events...

*BIG SIGH*.

Today has been just weird. Feels like I got up on the wrong side of my bed.

First of all, I've been having terrible water retention for the past 2-3 days. My face is round like bah chang (the rice dumpling), I feel heavy and tired, and golly-schmolly, and even the passport photo I took over the weekend - I can't believe that the girl in the picture is me! I've been taking EPO for the past month - if these were to be PMS-symptoms, would the EPO not have relieved them?:P (Note: EPO = evening primrose oil)

ARGH.

Secondly, I got road-bullied by a lorry this morning, on the way to work. Ok, it was a huge lorry. A big truck to be exact. You know how la. They take up so much space on the road and move so ultra slowly, then the first opportunity you get, you overtake. I overtook the truck...then cut in front of it later. And somehow, the driver seemed pretty mad I did that. He hooted at me, then later, while I was driving at quite a top speed, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the truck driving at top speed past me. Did a double-take. WHOA! I mean, for one thing, he was driving super-duper slowly just now...and why would he want to do that?!? All of a sudden, he cut right in front of me...and the driver poked his head out of his window to look at me. I tried not to look back at him. Good thing, the traffic piled up, and both the truck and my car got separated. This incident left me rather shaken.

Then thirdly, my poor baby got hit!

This happened in Tesco's carpark. The glass covering for my right signal light, and the tinier one at the bottom was smashed. Then the paint was badly scraped in that front right corner, with miniature dents and something amiss with the alignment. *Gasp* Must have been due to a vehicle brushing past furiously. After some frantic calls to my dad back in KL, I went to get my lights fixed. (Not enough cash for the paint and dent repairs) Thankfully I remember a mechanic Ben drove his car to once, so I drove to Jalan P.Ramlee to get the spare-parts replaced.

The results:

Car looks better...just perhaps a little sad and bruised (although my dad insists that my car still is cheerful and well, and eager to serve). I'm thankful that nothing else broke, save my heart. My conclusion is: Proton Wira cars are quite hardy. *Big thumbs up!*

Has this got anything to do with me having to hand in all my application forms and documents to the seminary today?

Monday...16/2/2009

Had a lazy Monday so far... and I'm typing this before I go out for lunch with Aunty Lilin.

Yesterday was a long day at church for me. I was so exhausted by the end, (we had to make one of our customary trips to Mini Taman Negara too!) that I was very glad to come home to fried rice with eggs, chillies slivers, garlic, and lup-cheong. (Ok, I don't know why, but I'm one big fan of lup-cheong a.k.a Chinese waxed sausages. As they are unhealthy, I try not to indulge in them too often! The fried rice too).

After dinner, we had a walk in Giant Hypermarket before home. Although it isn't very posh in there, I just enjoyed my little shopping trip. There was a warehouse sales of toiletries going on, and it was fun looking at the merchandises and snapping up good buys. Things were selling like hot-cakes. I think sometimes people demand too much (i.e. they would much prefer shopping at places like Queensbay, Gurney Plaza... or MVMM, Gardens, 1-utama and KLCC in KL - because branded stuff are a-plenty, the amenities are great, the fashion sense is much better, everything's in one place, and you get so many more things to look at). I was somewhat like that too. Not that I don't go to those places anymore - but nowadays, I'm learning to be contented with the less-fancy as well. I'm discovering the unmatched joy of window shopping at places like Carrefour, Tesco's, Giant Hypermarket or Sunshine square as well. I'm fascinated by how, if you look hard enough, you can get really good quality buys and stuff which you can creatively improvise so that it has multi-functions and looks cool! I mean, it offers so much other than food and toiletries! Furniture, clothes, kitchen-ware, car accessories, hardware, etc. Plus, you save alot of cash too - what with the many promotions.

Thank God for the hypermarkets!

Valentines Day

Valentines Day came and went. It was a day for me to remember my friends and loved ones. I thank God for everyone of them. Amazing, amazing people.

Instead of buying one another gifts for Valentines' and doing the commercial stuff (Don't have to wait til' Valentines' Day to show love or buy pressies for one another right?), Ben and I randomly went on one of our half-day road trips (had to be at church in the morning) around Penang island. We drove along Batu Ferringhi, Teluk Bahang...then round the Balik Pulau area, just to be close to nature and to enjoy one another's company after the long week.

Really enjoyed ourselves, we did. It felt like an adventure all right. I mean, I've done it before, a few times... but to do it with someone who admires nature as much as I do, it was cool! The sound of the bugs whistling in the jungles (along side the road), the fresh smell of trees and nutmeg, the chirping of birds, etc. It was magical!

Took a nice drive through curving roads...

Our first stop was at the Teluk Bahang dam! I was so excited admiring the view, that I did not mind that the sun was scorching hot (even with the umbrella!). The sight of the water made me feel like diving in for a swim.

The distance we walked... (see the jetty thingy)

moi! Shiny with perspiration...

Poor guy ...got blisters on his feet from all the walking. Above: Ben and his torturous shoe

Exhausted.

Then since we were withering in the heat, we went up to the fruit farm for fresh fruit juice...

Ben and his watermelon juice...

Me and my fruit punch. Basically they mix 5 juices together. Super yummy!:) I was distracted while they made my juice...so I didn't really watch what went in. I only saw the last of the man (who made the juice) slipping in a generous slice of honey-dew. And I think he dropped in half a guava too... Hehe.

There you go! No colouring or preservatives...

The fruit market...

After the fruit farm, we carried on our journey... Drove through some old villages, where the houses are either wooden and on stilts or simple concrete ones. What a simple life the people there live! The kids were cycling on the road, we came across tiny mosques, petrol stations and shops... It was really fun!

Again..me. Pardon the geeky look. I had run out of formal clothes to wear in the morning for church...

Dried leaves, and bits of green grass on the ground. Shows you how hot and dry Penang has been in the past month, doesn't it?

Since I was really craving the swim (you've got no idea how hot it was!), we went swimming in the evening after prayers... Then we had cell group. Only got to eat our dinner at 11 something pm...

Attack!!!

It has been indeed a wonderful day.

Random stuff...

It's been a tiring week. I've been busy. But there's alot of joy in my heart. I'm really thankful for many things that have happened this week. God has been so faithful to show me so much grace.

I have a music practice in 2 hours' time. Am wondering if I should go home and come out again... or stay out til' the practice at church starts.

Haven't planned what color to wear this weekend... Haha. Maybe blue.

Sorry this sounds mou liu. Will blog a little more later... Gotta clear out of the church office now.

My new driving companion...

Guess who?:P I snuck my old-time, faithful bedroom buddy (a black stuffed doggie named Oreo, who has stuck with me through thick and thin for many, many years by now) into my car yesterday... Thought he'd find the change refreshing. He'll be my driving companion for a good while.

Wroooooof!!!!! *pants and wags tail in glee*

We were there!

Dropped by Teluk Bahang last Saturday evening (after a test-drive to MBTS)...just to wade into the sea abit and feel the curly waves between our toozies...

Footprints in the sand...

Thank God for the wonderful weather!

After walking on the beach, my feet felt really good - just as if I had had a foot spa!

We watched the sun dip a little in the sky before we made our way back to church for CG.