Thursday

When beauty is more than a dream
when peace holds the heart still
even when the light fails to shine,
fails the essence of life, hope - never will.

Grace Moo - 20/4/2008

"...Season of singleness, and its own myriad of joys... I have truly learnt much, in this beautiful season. There were surely many ups and downs - but one thing stayed constant - God's immense, unfailing faithfulness...that made this season a very sweet season on the whole! I imagine - when that day for me to progress to a whole new season all together finally arrives, there would certainly be a teeny-weeny bit of reluctance to give up the comforts of the past season I have grown so accustomed to! But praise God - more than that, there would be unsurpassed joy and peace, knowing that the Lord had prepared the way for me and that all I've gone through did prepare me to welcome the new season with open arms.

That season I had no one but the Lord
was lonely at times, and I ached for company.
There were many roads I felt hard and long,
and dearly wished someone would walk with me...
There were days I could use a good cry,
but there were no shoulders to cry on.
There were moments I felt like singing
but alas! Nobody sang the same song...
That season I had no one but Him alone
I kept praying for a special friend
Someone who would share my gladness and sadness -
faithful, 'til the very end.
The Lord took my hand, tenderly He drew me close
"Here I am, can't you feel my love?
You've been crying, and I've grieved for your tears
But I've rejoiced and sung about you in My courts above...
Do I not satisfy you more than any lover?
Did my rod and staff not comfort you?
As you walked through the valley of shadow of death...
did you not know that it was I who guided you through?
As the season goes slowly by
Come unto Me and I will give you rest
I will teach you the joy of waiting
As you remember...great is My faithfulness.
Count all other blessings, name them one by one
Upon your life, these I've abundantly poured...
Even as you sow seeds on the grounds I've prepared
Be of good cheer - I promise you a harvest in store!"
That season I had no one but the Lord
was still lonely at times, when I needed company
but I started to hunger for His familiar presence
and the sweetness of praying on bended knee.
There were still many roads I felt hard and long,
but the comfort He gave through new-found friends
was abundantly more than I could have asked or imagined
through every odd and end...
Now perhaps this season might soon adjourn
I shall only remember that it was full of sweetness...
More than anything, the special Friend I've grown to love the most
Nothing would make me love Him any less."

Grace Moo - 8/4/2008

"...God, I thank Thee for a most beautiful journey through medical school. Through my years of eating disorders. Through the valley of the shadow of death. And along the paths Thou hast guided me upon, by Thy mercy and grace.

A beautiful journey, that road to remember

Has many stories to tell...

Of tears and sorrow, sickness and pain

Yet, also the Healer's touch that makes well.

Of those days when the clouds hid the moon

or when the sun refused to shine

Yet, also the comfort of prayer and the strength it brings

through abiding closely in the Vine...

The songs we have sung to awaken the dawn

Will forever remain in my heart

When I wake again to greet the morn,

jubilant joy these impart!

A friend's embrace, many a meaningful word,

Helping hands that never tire or grow less

And people who willingly walk the extra mile...

With all these I've been greatly blessed...."

Grace Moo - 11/4/2008.

"...People say that world is a dark and tumultous place. But somehow, I think...when you place the light of God in any place of darkness, it illuminates so brightly and gives out a prism of colours, that darkness pales in comparison. And we will still find beautiful things to be happy and thankful about.

Paint my world,

Cause it to shine

Hold my heart still

with Your glory divine.

Flood all the darkness,

purge it with light

And rainbows would appear

as frantic storms take flight!"

Tuesday

Today, I felt so dreamy in class...

So weird... these few days God has been speaking to me in various ways... about the need for more hours spent working on my piano and writing per day... (of course amongst the many other areas in my life that I have yet to work on) The funniest part was that in chapel today, Dr. Vincent happened to be the one preaching. This was of course the first time I've heard him preach (amazing preacher). Apparently, whenever he preaches, he would use the analogy of a pianist. (Vanessa told me that he plays the piano pretty well too.) Today, he did illustrate his points in that manner. I was pretty blown away by his sermon on the Shermah. But more than that, I felt...

...a call to excel in both style and substance of my musical work. A call to devote myself to a continuous diligent endeavor of stewardship.

Indeed, God deserves and requires the 'unblemished sacrificial lamb' of our work. The very fat. Its first-fruits. Excellence. It isn't about perfectionism or showmanship... but honoring God with the best we can do.

Christians, we've got to constantly check on our worldview. Is our Christian worldview reflected through our work?

Anyway...

Today ushered in a new music project. Thank You God for yet another opportunity to learn and to allow Your glory to be shown. Align my heart and mind with Yours, Lord. Amen.

Weekend's over...

Quite a happening weekend...

Was dragged to attend the EFC leadership summit... Initially I thought I'd 'escape' attending it this year, because I badly wanted a rest - and also because I wanted an excuse to avoid playing the theme song I wrote for the conference...(yeah, a little like Jonah...) :S ~ Actually, the song was inspired by God ler... so I wouldn't say that I came up with it myself. But somehow, the thought of playing it in front of all those datuk-datuk, doktor-doktor, pastor-pastor dan leaders-leaders sekalian made me shudder.

Aihh... didn't get to escape... Although my EFC mates did not succeed in convincing me to go, Ben convinced me to attend the conference on Saturday... saying that it was very good and stuff. I gave in at last. And since we were like both small fry's compared to all the 'giants' out there... we kinda stuck to one another as if we were joined at the hip :P Here he was on the first day of the summit.It was a very good summit btw. Listened to the pastors, teachers, leaders, etc humbly sharing their hearts for the nation and our country, Malaysia...and the passionate work God had enabled them to do in their respective communities - for the poor, victims of injustice, rejected, weak and sick, strengthening the schools which the society has deemed 'hopeless', etc... Amazing. Salt and light to the world, these people are. Dedicated, sacrificial warriors. Seriously, they seem so fearless... even though I know it isn't that easy. I was so inspired.Then hor... a surprise sprang on me. May, one of the organizers of the event, came up and asked me if I could sing and play my composition... instead of the initial plan, whereby the worship leader was supposed to lead the song... @_@' Felt so trapped. The picture above shows me 'bargaining' and in denial... begging... "Must I really...?" Sei mei? :P But upon Ben's encouragement, I decided not to be intimidated or disobedient... and trust God. Wasn't too bad after all. The first time I played and sang the song myself - as a performance. Ben sat around to support me. The second time, I worked together with our very sweet pianist, Eveleen Chan... she played the piano while I led the congregation in the singing of the song.
She did a very good job too! :) Was amazing working with her. I do look forward to any future opportunities to work with her more closely. (How come so many of my pianist friends are Chans?)

Truly appreciate all the sincere encouragement of the people who heard the song (it also certainly blessed me to hear them singing along to it) and very thankful for God's grace and mercy that enabled me to go up there to sing His song without fainting... (Before I played it the first time, I was so scared and faithless, that I thought I'd keel over from hyperventilation and tachycardia...then my legs were trembling like jelly while I was on stage! It certainly did not help that my bladder was FULL on that morning's fluids and coffee...and I didn't have time to make it to the loo before I got on stage...) Also, so humbled by this opportunity I initially tried to run away from... :P An opportunity for God to glorify Himself.

I feel the life coming back. That which I feel I have lost for a long time.

The picture of exhaustion...after a long long day...*PHEW*...This was at Matsuki's, where we dined with some of our CG members that night. Good time of fellowshipping. Love them all.

The very much loved... :)

Sunday... on the way to church

May I come in?

Appreciating every moment,

cherishing every word said,

treasuring every chance to reach out a little,

thankful for every difference made…

Even though the ice is hard to break,

I can see you try to let me in…

Past the tears,

past the fears

that I won’t like the you within…

Forget the shame of the past

I’ll tell you of a name

I’ve learnt to trust

His name is Jesus

and He can heal

This is what I’ve seen Him do…

I’ll walk with you, you’re not alone

We’ll look to Him,

in Him, you’ll find hope...

His name is Jesus

who came to give

out of His love,

that we may live.

On this long road...

Today I was sitting with women and men...
We sang You songs of praises
I was touched once again
to remember how far I have come
It's because of what You've done...
You mended what was broken,
brought me to see
How Your grace is sufficient
and Your love sets me free
to become what You've made me to be
...to declare Your glory...

But again, I'm feeling lost
the road is long and narrow...
Did I lose my way?
Have I lost myself?
Is there a way to know?

How do I...
respond to Your calling?
What am I to do...
with all You've placed in me?
Why does my heart beat for this dream...
when I see no way
to touch the horizon of this sea
How do I... get there from here?
Do I walk the road less taken
even if there's fear?
All I know... those who trust in You
will never be let down or shaken...

Help me trust in You...

Help me trust in You...
Help me trust in You...
Help me trust in You...

An awesome reason...

What a caterpillar calls the end of this world

the Creator calls a butterfly…

All we see imperfect,

tragic and dreaded...

is the underside of His glorious tapestry

of our lives...

An awesome reason for the beauty

and His glory…

The sweetness of His presence

as we’re on bended knee

He weans to Himself

an invisible Kingdom

where we’ll find

all we’ve longed for

…truly satisfy….

Awesome God,

my heart is captivated…

Sovereign Lord,

In You I find a Friend

in loneliness

in joy and in pain

Light at this tunnel’s end…

When we feel God's faraway,

so faraway

His Word says He'll never leave nor forsake us

When the future's hard to see

and you feel you've lost your way

Look to Him in faith

that His promises will never fail...

LORD, Let my life, bring You glory...