Wednesday

Where am I going in life?

Feel so lost.

So in need of a breakthrough.

Another major deadline met...

*Phewwww*

I am going to attempt to finish my contextualization project by Friday... although I doubt that I'd go that far, since I am your typical perfectionist.

Absolutely need to gear up now... we are going back to KL this weekend, my wedding is in a little more than 2 weeks from now *panics* and yours truly, as a masters student, need to make one presentation of my project next Tuesday.

Feel like my "running shoes" are wearing thin and spotting holes by now... but oh, I must reach the finishing line!

Women Pastors?

Still working hard on my "Person of the Pastor" paper.

One thing awesome about this assignment - I am so much more acquainted with the life of your regular pastor now... and I appreciate my pastors more than ever. I mean, there are so much risks to bear as a pastor - in worst cases, they could end up losing their loved ones and losing themselves - and yet they made the sacrifice because they love and want to obey Him. This paper has also encouraged me to be more diligent in the matters of my ministry and service in God's Kingdom. To be more understanding to my pastor and support him more, regardless...

After this paper however, my previous conviction still stands - I don't think I am pastor-material. (When I say pastor here, I mean the pastor leading a church). Yeah, I do love shepherding people, discipling, mentoring, etc. Pastoral work is fine with me. But I don't think I'd be ever good in leading a church - especially that I am a woman. I am not against women pastors, of course. I have many lady friends who are pastors of churches - and I love and admire them for obeying God's calling upon their lives despite all the controversies that surround women pastors. However, I prefer to be a little more traditional and conservative. I feel that God has made most women different... to be leaders in areas they are gifted at, and yet supporters to the main male pastor of their churches. Also to be spiritual mothers that nurture, comfort and tend to the "scraped knees" of the fallen. When you are married, your husband won't have to feel like you are his spiritual leader even in the home (and be complacent). Subsequently, when you have children, it is difficult to mother them when you have a whole church waiting for you to meet their every need too... you'd have to choose in between one - and usually, a pastor will need to choose the congregation. Fathers can look after the children - but mothers, their special roles are irreplaceable.

Anyway, you don't have to agree with me. This is only my opinion ... coz I am getting married in 2 weeks and 4 days. Haha.

PMS officially ended today. Good timing too, praise the LORD... coz it means that the cravings have had their grand finale over the weekend... and I have 2 weeks to whip my body into shape. (Actually there's not much to be done, except to tone up on some flabby areas... and gosh, hopefully NO more weird weight plunges... coz I cannot afford to have wrinkly skin, stretch marks and ehem... non-impressive womanly assets on my wedding day! :P)

Easter Sunday

Beautiful Easter Sunday. Our Easter performance went well, praise God! (Peky, Yi Jie and Ji Feng... you rock, people!)

I am looking forward to seeing more expression of talents, especially by JF... feel like he holds back too much and suppresses himself sometimes. I mean... he ad-libs really well - perhaps he feels more comfy singing songs in which one can be spontaneous and free. Like this one time, we did a goofy session during one of our practices (we turned the original version of "More Than Amazing" into this cool, old-school jazzy version. Recorded it just to shock Daniel Khoo into believing that we went nuts when he wasn't around! He said that he nearly flipped when he heard that recording! Haha!) - but guess what, Peky and I loved that goofy version to bits. We listened to it over and over and over again. And JF - he was amazing in that recording. He was himself. Beautiful and God-glorifying to the fullest.

So let's encourage him, shall we? :) TMC people, if you are reading this, you know what to do. :D

This is the first Easter Sunday I did not take any pictures.

I don't think I'll take anymore self-pictures till my honeymoon, lolx... coz I am pong-pong thanks to PMS and weird cravings... my face is haggard thanks to all those late nights slogging on assignments - and I basically have no time.

Back to my assignments.

Saturday

All night prayer meeting was good.

Ben and I joined in at 3am. Before that, I was doing my assignments and Ben tried to nap (but kinda failed). We drove to church at 2.45am. It was a cold morning. There were about 12 people in our group.

I am so glad that I didn't fall asleep during prayer. Rather, I believe that God kept me from falling asleep so that I could focus and agree with the things others were praying for. We prayed mostly for our church, the Church in Malaysia, our country, its leaders, etc. Everyone prayed fervently and repentantly. Tears were shed and knees were bruised. I wonder what took place in the heavenlies while all of that was going on... and what the outcome of our prayers would be.

After prayer, Ben and I dropped some people home... and went for a tim sum date. It was a beautiful morning. I have not been up this early on a Saturday morning - for a very long while now. Lol.

After our tim sum date was over, I was rushed home myself (haha), because I had serious problems keeping awake. Fell asleep almost immediately after I put my head down on my pillow. Burned some calories by sleeping for 4 hours plus! :P Went for lunch... and now, we are in Ben's office. He's down in the lab, while I am trying to get into my research paper again. Boooo...

Since I am severely tied for time, I'd better end here and do my work. Looking forward to tonight's dinner at Ananda Bahwan with CG mates! :)

Good Friday

We had a one-hour Good Friday service in the seminary chapel today.

We sang a few hymns, Dr. Lawson preached, the school choir gave us 2 songs... and the highlight of it all (at least for me) was Dr. Matahari leading us in Holy Communion. It was a solemn affair. It made me reflect on the account of the Last Supper - before Jesus was taken away to be crucified. Among His disciples, nobody but one actually truly believed that this would be certainly the final time they would dip their bread into the same cup as Jesus before He was hung on the cross for the sins of the world. Nobody but one. Yes, Judas knew... and He still betrayed Jesus.

However, all was not lost. God makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him, those who have been called according to His purpose. (Rom 8:28) Judas meant it for evil, but God made it good for us. It is because of Christ's death, we no longer have to pay the penalties for our sins. It is because of Christ's resurrection, we are also raised up with Him as victors - no longer condemned for our sins - free to transform, love, serve Him and glorify the Risen King.

My first ever Easter weekend was celebrated in a tiny church back in my hometown - i.e. the Cornerstone Baptist Church (CBC). I remember my fascination, my remorse of Christ's brutal death... and yet, the awesome relief at the mention of His resurrection on Easter morning. May I never lose the wonder of what the Lord Jesus Christ has done for me.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting lives." (John 3:16)

Maundy Thursday

Thus began Christ's journey from Gethsamane to Golgotha more than two thousand years ago.

I have been a Christian for the past 10 years. Before that, I often wondered what Good Friday and Easter were all about. Parties, chocolate, easter eggs and bunnies?

Obviously not.

I guess some of you, Malaysians know Shila's beautiful song - "Memori Tercipta". Somehow, when I listened to it today, it brought out a different meaning for me all together - even though this wasn't the original reason the song was written. I found myself standing in the shoes (or rather hung up by the cruel nails) of one of the two criminals crucified next to the Savior of the world. No, not the mocking one. The other one.

Having experienced a touch of God's grace through Christ and having heard the beautiful words, pregnant with hope - "Truly I tell you, today you will be with Me in Paradise" (Luke 23:43)... oh, could it be that the words of this song echoes the final yet grateful beats of his heart as it was laid to rest?

Bergetar jiwa di persada bercahaya...

Pertemuan harapan pertama kalinya

Bergetar jiwa menghadapi mimpi-mimpi

Sukar dipercaya pintunya terbuka..

Di sini jua memori tercipta...

Walau seketika terjalin kasih kita

Mungkin di sini kita kan terpisah..

Kenangan bersama tiada ku lupa...

Mengalun suara sesuri bisikan hati

Seiringan mencari haluan berseni

Bergetar jiwa menghadapi mimpi-mimpi

Tiada ku terduga pintunya terbuka...

Yang terpahit juga termanis

Semuanya bagiku terindah

Ku ingati buat selama-lamanya

Mungkin di sini kita kan terpisah

Kenangan bersama...x3

Tiada kulupa...

Sorry - to those who do not understand Malay, I don't have time to translate the lyrics to English. (If anyone else will be so kind to translate the song into English for the sake of my non-Malaysian readers, I'd be so grateful!) You can still listen to the song by clicking on HERE.

Wednesday

Woke up in time to the tune of my 2nd alarm clock (ya, I had snoozed the first one for an hour already!) - and LATE too. Well-trained by now, I whipped myself ready for school in 15 minutes. I even had time to swallow my daily supplements. Bolted out of the door with a pack of breakfast choc-chip biscuits in one hand and everything else was efficiently handled by my right arm/hand (keys, water bottle, worship CD to play in car, etc.)... Was just in time to pick Ai Hua up and drive to school. We arrived at MBTS 5 minutes before class - which was exactly an hour after I had jumped out of bed! Perfect timing.

That concludes the first hour of my day. Action-packed as usual - I bathed, got ready for school, battled the morning traffic jams, chatted to Ai Hua in the car and dear me... I somehow felt so... fruitful! :D Really made my morning pondering on this strange fact, it did!

The product of the orange tree is not oranges or orange-flavored Sugus...

...but another orange tree.

Be fruitful and multiply.

I wonder if I will ever reproduce a tree like me. :P Perhaps not with the bits of weed stuck awkwardly in some places. Or the thorns that sprouted from nowhere. But a tree that bears even greater fruits and climbs to greater heights.

Tuesday

Still stressed and depressed. But I'm gonna say a prayer before I go to bed and hope that God will make things much better tomorrow, somehow.

I think it's during times like these, I feel like just running away from everything and everyone. I just wanna be alone. To mope in my dark cave a while. And to savor chocolate like there is no tomorrow. Serious.

Quarter-life crisis, I gather. It doesn't help that my Knight in A Shining Armor is in a transition himself. I can feel so inadequate to support him sometimes. Oh, can't I just kick open a door for him? Or march around a fortified city for seven days? Or part the Jordan River? No, I am just a weak lady, with little faith at times. Like now. I only can hope for God's mercy. I am so tired.

Then I remembered today, that I've got crazy dreams myself which I don't know if they will ever materialize. It makes me quite sad.

Sorry for the sappiness of my blog post. I can even write a song out of this. Omg, do I need anti-depressants?

Stuck....

I feel like Joseph in the prison.

How long more, O God? How long?

Came across Psalm 16 today and made it my prayer.

^"1 Keep me safe, my God, for in You I take refuge.

² I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
apart from You I have no good thing.”
³ I say of the holy people who are in the land,
“They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”
⁴ Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.
I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods
or take up their names on my lips.

⁵ LORD, You alone are my portion and my cup;
You make my lot secure.
⁶ The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
⁷ I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
⁸ I keep my eyes always on the LORD.
With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

⁹ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
¹⁰ because You will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
nor will You let your faithful one see decay.
¹¹ You make known to me the path of life;
You will fill me with joy in Your presence,
with eternal pleasures at Your right hand."

Went to sleep last night with a heart beating fast and my emotions running high. Today, I just didn't feel like waking up and facing the new day. Oh, you have no idea how thankful I was that my covenant sister, Ji, phoned me in the evening and spoke into my life. (I am praying that God would be merciful and gracious to bring me a little closer to Ji and Laura somehow...)

Ever since I graduated from med school and remained in Penang, I have been often very, very lonely.... It would be very ungrateful of me to say that I don't have good friends here... in fact, God has blessed me with many awesome ones. Both from church and the seminary. However, I guess it's because Ji and I went through an exceptionally difficult time together (for the both of us) back in PMC, we kinda gelled from there... and therefore, we have been quite inseparable as friends and sisters. When she graduated from PMC (she's my one-year senior, btw) and began working in Singapore, I missed her terribly. One of my greatest joys in life is visiting her in Singapore and gleaning encouragement + inspiration from our sessions of praying together as well as tagging along with her in youth ministry. It is very easy for us to open up to one another, without putting on any masks. We have both seen each other's ugly sides and I've bawled many tears in front of her. It is therefore no wonder I felt so incredibly, incandescently happy when she called today.

Wrote out the "Take, O Take Me as I am" music score for Dr. Matahari as he requested. Was somehow touched by the words of the simple hymn.

"Take, O take me as I am, Summon out what I shall be; Set Your seal upon my heart... and live in me." Beautiful.

Weight issues

My dear fellow blogger/friend, Sophia, wrote an awesome article on weight gain in recovery from ED which I thoroughly recommend.

For those who are new to my blog, I am a recovered eating disorders sufferer (why does that sound like a mouthful?) who used to struggled with anorexia nervosa, bulimia and compulsive eating throughout my teenage years and early twenties.

While I look normal, think normal (most of the time) and behave normal now, I admit that I still need to actively guard myself from a weakness... i.e. the tendency to feel anxious about my weight. I don't dislike myself. In fact, I like the way I look and I think myself beautiful. I also love eating healthily as well as indulging in my occasional treats, fast food and junk food. I eat Mcd's once a week. I pride myself on my faithfulness to exercise moderately 3-4 times a week (coz it was difficult to start, haha!) And honestly, I don't think anyone would care if I put on a few pounds. Those who love me would still love me. My fiance would still think I am hot (oh yeah!) - he doesn't like me skinny btw. I know it is not worth it to obsess over my weight. I have got so much in life to look forward to.

But....

... I still feel anxious about my weight once in a while. And I don't even know why I should feel that way. What is it exactly that I fear?

I think it's losing control that I fear. And perhaps I have unconsciously made my weight the indicator of how "in control" I am of my own life when it should have been fully surrendered to God. So it's actually not about the weight now, is it?

Feeling a lil' blue...

Woof? :(

Wednesday

For an assignment, I was writing about my previous ministry encounters in Dublin - when I was struck with a humbling sense of nolstalgia.

Bittersweet memories flooded in.

How my room carpet was nearly always wet when I stayed at Mercer Court during my first year - because of a mysterious leak. Then, the nice but haunted little apartment on Lower Clanbrassil Street which my housemates and I moved into during our second year. Our long and freezing cold waits for buses every morning. The one hour long bus-rides to Beaumont Hospital every day. The pungent smell of preserved cadavers in the Anatomy D.R. (They actually smelled like a kind of food I like to eat with rice - I won't care to mention what kind of food here, in case I get sued, haha - but, dissection room sessions sure never got me clammy but hungry).

Choreographing dances for International Nights. Pigeons and our fear of cryptococcal pneumonia. Our cramming sessions for important exams. The guy who pursued me for a long 3 years or so before giving up hope (of course not after I made things so difficult for him. Bad me. I sure hope he has forgiven me completely by now). My hopeless crushes (haha). Me crying my eyes out over them while seated on the black leather sofa in our living room. With Cyn trying her hardest to make me smile again.

Our birthday celebrations. Pot-blesses. Pig-outs (oh, especially on sweet-and-sour pork and fried aubergines) at the Chinese restaurant on dodgy Mall Street. Mango sorbet at the Australian Ice Cream shop. Shopping in the city center (oh yeah, my favorite!). Mark & Spencers' huge chocolate chip cookies that they don't sell here in Malaysia. Dun Laoghaire harbor. Movies at the UGC. My piano students. My neighbors (who happened to my church mates) whose apartment Cyn and I used to frequent - for good home-made food wholesome chats and to watch rented DVDs.

Church gatherings. Prayer meets. Harp and bowl sessions - major city interchurch prayer meets, which the Dublin churches take turns to host every 2 months (or was it 1 month?). Christian musical concerts in Belfast. Avoca. Galway. Innis Island. I think I must have blogged about all of them in my older blog. My caring pastors. Our ministry events. How passionate I was about church!

Also how I used to trot to church on Sundays in my high-heeled boots (I was crazy enough to wear them - 30 minutes over cobble-stone roads too!). It is no wonder I have so many feet problems today. LOL. I am pretty sure this is where all my bunions originated.

I am sobered as I remember the blissful 3 years in Dublin today. It was not an incredibly easy time. But, I was close to God. And that was all that mattered. The blessings of being in His presence were incomparable and exceedingly more than I could have imagined. I was surrounded by the best friends ever. Today, when I look back, it all seems like a long, beautiful dream that I never wanted to wake up from. But of course, a season never lasts forever. I had to move on and return to Malaysia. Many things have changed ever since. My pastor in Dublin passed away from terminal stage malignant bone marrow cancer a year or two back. I am sorry I was not in Dublin when he left. But I know I will see him someday in heaven.

A question plagues me at times. Although I try not to compare myself - past and present - because the circumstances were and are totally different, I still can't help but always wonder: Am I as close to God as I was to Him before? Perhaps, this is a season of learning to trust God's heart even when I am not so inclined to feel Him.

Tuesday

The beginning of a school week. I had issues falling asleep last night (my brain unfortunately went over-time, ruminating on my 1 Corinthians application project and why I could not solve some major problems with it) and so I woke up this morning feeling like my eyes were going to pop out of their sockets! Oh yeah... *Sobs*

I need more quiet time. I have to keep reminding myself that God is really with me all the time, even though I cannot see or feel Him tangibly... and believe... that even when my heart fails, He would strengthen me so that I would be faithful. Yes, more than anything, O God... guard my heart, for it is the well spring of life. Let my heart never cease to hold Your peace and so that my eyes would never cease to see that You are good and faithful. Overwhelm me with the grace You showed Hannah in her distress.

Anyway...

What's next on my wedding prep agenda (for this week)

1. Bulletins
2. See the florist on Friday
3. Bridal house appointment on Friday - to look at our picture album and select floral bouquet designs and car-deco designs...
4. Choose wedding dress on Saturday (well, the last round, I didn't find one that I liked)
5. Submit ROM documents to Rev. Ng - probably tomorrow
6. Send final shout-out to RSVP guests
7. Bank-in money for honeymoon reservation
8. ....

Stressed....

I am psychologically and emotionally stressed.

My assignments are all piling up, deadlines are upcoming... and gosh, I seem to have so many appointments each weekend. My weight is fluctuating thanks to weird hormonal reactions and resulting water retention bloats. I have been bugged by flatulence and allergic conjunctivitis. Also, my expenses this month are sky-rocketing for various reasons. (Dunno why all my creams must choose to finish in May...Sigh... bad timing.)

Lumped together, it just looks and feels like one massive undifferentiated, localized tumor - on my blog-post. Bleargggh... ;P I so can't wait for my holiday in May - and honeymoon vacation with my hubby! :)

On top of all these - wedding preparations have to go on. Ben and I took advantage of the Jaya Jusco Member Fiesta over the past weekend, and bought our marriage beddings (pillows, duvet, covers, etc.) at greatly reduced prices! Thank God for the provisions. Saw Pastor Woo on Sunday to talk about the Wedding bulletins. It was a good chat actually - which extended to our callings and vocations. Ben and mine. Pastor Woo prayed for us at the end of our long conversation.

Anyway, we watched the animation, Rio, on Saturday night. It was so funny. I'd highly recommend that movie as a stress-buster!

A praise report, amidst the stressful overtone of this blog-post: one of my prayers (for a friend) was answered on Saturday. What a miracle it was. Thank You, God!

Monday

Honeymoon Destination: check.

Documents for the signing of ROM: check.

Thursday

Yesterday evening, I had dinner with my dear sister and friend, Rachel Chan. Dinners with her are becoming more of a regular thing now. We were from the same PCC cell group, back in my university days. Later, I chose to join a cell group in the church I serve in (Trinity Methodist Church Penang) thanks to my now-fiance's kind invitation - but Rachel and I continued to keep in touch and occasionally go out for dinner together. Other than a common desire to be godly and God-fearing, we also share a passion for good reads - so we've always exchanged books (and as for me, I've been reading books off her mum's book shelf too). In the past 3 years, both of us have been facing our own difficulties and hardships. Many similar ones too. However, we could find comfort confiding in one another and were strengthened by each other's prayers - so we believe that God placed us in one another's lives for an incredible reason! Because Rachel has been such an awesome friend, I am making her the pianist for my wedding march-in in May.

Anyway...


I am trying on my wedding gown this evening.

TOCT conference is right after school tomorrow and the Projek Harap Fund-raising Dinner is tomorrow night - when I will be dressed in a Kebaya, smiling brightly at the guests as an usher. Haha. *Geeky look*

So bloated for the past few days. Especially my tummy. I have no idea why. In fact, I feel like I am pregnant. LOLx.

Of course I am not.

Random thought - I need a hair makeover. But at the moment, I will have to be content - till our expenditures are not quite as heavy. I did tell a few of my friends that I'll butcher my hair SHORT after I get married... but now, I am changing my mind a little on the short part. Hm, we shall see.

Have to get back to my many assignments. I am so screwed with regards to time management. I feel like it's alot of "fire-fighting" lately - dealing with urgent stuff and not the less urgent but as important stuff. Really need God's help in this.

Little joys of living in a "high-density" block

I live in a low-cost, high-density block of flats.It is a glimpse of "One Malaysia" for you. Regardless of our races, we still exchange smiles in the elevators, greet each other at the mamak stalls downstairs, chuckle at one another's babies and such. In many ways, I am glad that I am not just surrounded by the people of my own kind. Because I still feel "alien" as a Chinese here in Penang, not being able to understand and fluently speak their local dialect - Hokkien... except if it is anything pertaining to food. Haha. *Sheepish grin*

We are also surrounded by much religious activity. Most of my neighbors are either the Muslims whose prayers are loudly proclaimed through the Surau's loud-speakers... or the Taoists whose temple glows fiery red in the dark of the night... or the Hindus who ring bells and burn incense as their way of devotion. Then of course, there is a handful of us that fit into the category "D.L.L" (dan lain-lain) - Christians, Jehovah Witnesses, etc. Perhaps there are more Christians in my block than I can really tell. However, it is sad... we hardly see one another around.


Anyway...

Last night, I went into my little room, closed the door - and sat upon my bed while giving out a loud sigh and complaining to the Lord about something on my heart. I cannot remember what I said exactly - but it must have been something along the lines of "...O God, please tell me where I am going..." Perhaps, I was not quite as meek - it could also have been, "O God, open a door, PLEASE!"

Silence was the answer. After that little rant, I began reading my book.

A moment later, an unknown male voice began singing out of the blue. I couldn't decipher the words - it must not have been in English. Now, usually, I just ignore the voices I hear - because I don't like eaves-dropping on my neighbors' conversations (and quarrels)! But yesterday night, I felt that I HAD to listen to the tune properly. So I sat very still. To my surprise, it was a tune I knew - the melody of the hymn, "He Leadeth Me".

Of course it was in another language. But I recognized the hymn! I was amazed! Ran out of my room and tried to make out where the voice came from - but it grew fainter - so I returned to my room - and continued to enjoy the rest of the singing! :D

I couldn't remember on the spot what the hymn conveyed, so looked it up in my hymnal. These were its lyrics in English:

He leadeth me! O blessed thought,
O words with heav'nly comfort fraught;
Whate'er I do, where'er I be,
Still 'tis Christ's hand that leadeth me.

He leadeth me! He leadeth me!
By His own hand He leadeth me;
His faithful follower I would be,
For by His hand He leadeth me.

Sometimes 'mid scenes of deepest gloom,
Sometimes where Eden's bowers bloom,
By waters still, o'er troubled sea,
Still 'tis His hand that leadeth me.

Lord, I would clasp Thy hand in mine,
Nor ever murmur or repine;
Content, whatever lot I see,
Since it is Thou that leadest me.

And when my task on earth is done,
When, by Thy grace, the vict'ry's won,
E'en death's cold wave I will not flee,
Since Thou in triumph leadest me.

As you can probably imagine, I went back to my room very, very encouraged and comforted. I don't think it was a co-incidence, because I have lived in this house for close to 3 years now- quarrels I have heard, ABRSM piano songs I have heard - but a hymn in the night I have NEVER heard. Such sweet and beautiful words my Lord brings me in my time of confusion and trial!

I wonder if that brother in Christ knew that his randomness would bless and encourage me. Perhaps, he had felt led by the Lord to burst into such jubilant singing! :) Or he too, like me, could have been greatly needing the Lord's leading in his life - and was singing the hymn as a song of faith unto Him.

God lives, I tell you! And I am assured that He loves me so.

Pastors' retreat @ Teluk Bahang Dam

There was a beautiful pillar of rain-clouds rising from the mountains that morning...Eerie even!

Anyway, this was us - before we started out from MBTS...

Solemn entry...we were supposed to keep quiet and not talk to one another throughout the whole retreat :) - instead, focus on God.

This was the part when the silence had ceased :D - and it was about time to go home.

Psalm 131...

...was preached in chapel service today. How timely! Stung my pride a little, it did... but nevertheless, it was good.

I'm all floundering neck-deep in assignments. Yet again. *Sighs*

I realize I have been trying to juggle too many things at one go. Gosh, we haven't even settled our honeymoon destination. And there are still so many things to do - approaching the wedding, amidst the impending deadlines!

Monday...

Ben and I purchased our wedding bed last weekend. It arrived today and has significantly reduced the space in our tiny flat ever since. The wrappers will stay on till we are both ready to sleep on it - as a married couple. I cannot imagine spending every night with him after May the 14th. The thought of it makes me both excited and anxious. Haha! :D

Teaser...

This wasn't one of the actual photos we picked out of the whole lot. I think it was some random, candid shot our photographer took while Ben and I were getting ready to "pose". My make-up artist put this picture up on his Facebook, as part of his album of 'Makeover' collections. Some of you have been urging me to put up our pre-wed photos. Well, since Ben and I decided that we'd only show them off after our wedding (or there'll be no surprise or fun, hehe) - I thought I'd put up a "teaser". So... enjoy! XD