Wednesday

For an assignment, I was writing about my previous ministry encounters in Dublin - when I was struck with a humbling sense of nolstalgia.

Bittersweet memories flooded in.

How my room carpet was nearly always wet when I stayed at Mercer Court during my first year - because of a mysterious leak. Then, the nice but haunted little apartment on Lower Clanbrassil Street which my housemates and I moved into during our second year. Our long and freezing cold waits for buses every morning. The one hour long bus-rides to Beaumont Hospital every day. The pungent smell of preserved cadavers in the Anatomy D.R. (They actually smelled like a kind of food I like to eat with rice - I won't care to mention what kind of food here, in case I get sued, haha - but, dissection room sessions sure never got me clammy but hungry).

Choreographing dances for International Nights. Pigeons and our fear of cryptococcal pneumonia. Our cramming sessions for important exams. The guy who pursued me for a long 3 years or so before giving up hope (of course not after I made things so difficult for him. Bad me. I sure hope he has forgiven me completely by now). My hopeless crushes (haha). Me crying my eyes out over them while seated on the black leather sofa in our living room. With Cyn trying her hardest to make me smile again.

Our birthday celebrations. Pot-blesses. Pig-outs (oh, especially on sweet-and-sour pork and fried aubergines) at the Chinese restaurant on dodgy Mall Street. Mango sorbet at the Australian Ice Cream shop. Shopping in the city center (oh yeah, my favorite!). Mark & Spencers' huge chocolate chip cookies that they don't sell here in Malaysia. Dun Laoghaire harbor. Movies at the UGC. My piano students. My neighbors (who happened to my church mates) whose apartment Cyn and I used to frequent - for good home-made food wholesome chats and to watch rented DVDs.

Church gatherings. Prayer meets. Harp and bowl sessions - major city interchurch prayer meets, which the Dublin churches take turns to host every 2 months (or was it 1 month?). Christian musical concerts in Belfast. Avoca. Galway. Innis Island. I think I must have blogged about all of them in my older blog. My caring pastors. Our ministry events. How passionate I was about church!

Also how I used to trot to church on Sundays in my high-heeled boots (I was crazy enough to wear them - 30 minutes over cobble-stone roads too!). It is no wonder I have so many feet problems today. LOL. I am pretty sure this is where all my bunions originated.

I am sobered as I remember the blissful 3 years in Dublin today. It was not an incredibly easy time. But, I was close to God. And that was all that mattered. The blessings of being in His presence were incomparable and exceedingly more than I could have imagined. I was surrounded by the best friends ever. Today, when I look back, it all seems like a long, beautiful dream that I never wanted to wake up from. But of course, a season never lasts forever. I had to move on and return to Malaysia. Many things have changed ever since. My pastor in Dublin passed away from terminal stage malignant bone marrow cancer a year or two back. I am sorry I was not in Dublin when he left. But I know I will see him someday in heaven.

A question plagues me at times. Although I try not to compare myself - past and present - because the circumstances were and are totally different, I still can't help but always wonder: Am I as close to God as I was to Him before? Perhaps, this is a season of learning to trust God's heart even when I am not so inclined to feel Him.