Stuck....

I feel like Joseph in the prison.

How long more, O God? How long?

Came across Psalm 16 today and made it my prayer.

^"1 Keep me safe, my God, for in You I take refuge.

² I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
apart from You I have no good thing.”
³ I say of the holy people who are in the land,
“They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”
⁴ Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.
I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods
or take up their names on my lips.

⁵ LORD, You alone are my portion and my cup;
You make my lot secure.
⁶ The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
⁷ I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
⁸ I keep my eyes always on the LORD.
With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

⁹ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
¹⁰ because You will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
nor will You let your faithful one see decay.
¹¹ You make known to me the path of life;
You will fill me with joy in Your presence,
with eternal pleasures at Your right hand."

Went to sleep last night with a heart beating fast and my emotions running high. Today, I just didn't feel like waking up and facing the new day. Oh, you have no idea how thankful I was that my covenant sister, Ji, phoned me in the evening and spoke into my life. (I am praying that God would be merciful and gracious to bring me a little closer to Ji and Laura somehow...)

Ever since I graduated from med school and remained in Penang, I have been often very, very lonely.... It would be very ungrateful of me to say that I don't have good friends here... in fact, God has blessed me with many awesome ones. Both from church and the seminary. However, I guess it's because Ji and I went through an exceptionally difficult time together (for the both of us) back in PMC, we kinda gelled from there... and therefore, we have been quite inseparable as friends and sisters. When she graduated from PMC (she's my one-year senior, btw) and began working in Singapore, I missed her terribly. One of my greatest joys in life is visiting her in Singapore and gleaning encouragement + inspiration from our sessions of praying together as well as tagging along with her in youth ministry. It is very easy for us to open up to one another, without putting on any masks. We have both seen each other's ugly sides and I've bawled many tears in front of her. It is therefore no wonder I felt so incredibly, incandescently happy when she called today.

Wrote out the "Take, O Take Me as I am" music score for Dr. Matahari as he requested. Was somehow touched by the words of the simple hymn.

"Take, O take me as I am, Summon out what I shall be; Set Your seal upon my heart... and live in me." Beautiful.