Of a crazy dream...

Galatians 1:1. This verse often sobers me: "Paul, an apostle - sent not by human commission nor by human authority, but by Jesus Christ and God the Father, who raised Him from the dead...."

Since 2004, I've always had an inkling of my life-calling. I remember the one fine day, when Cyn, Esther and I were seated comfortably in the dining room of my student pastor's house at Harold's Cross... Mike Groenewald asked us to go home, pray and think over this question: "If money were not a concern to you... and if nothing tied you down, what or where do you see yourself in 10 years time?"

As young 19-year-olds and 20-year-olds, we laughed. But homework is homework. We obediently went home to pray and ponder on Mike's question.

This was a crazy (and dangerous) question that changed my life. Sometimes, I wondered why God had to make Pastor Mike my spiritual mentor. I wondered why he had to ask us that question right smack in the middle of my medical studies. Why then? Why didn't someone ask me the same question before I went to Dublin? Because my answer to Mike's question was a crazy dream that had nothing to do with what I had in mind when I started out pursuing a career in medicine. Plus I had no idea then - how I was going to reach the crazy dream. I won't say what it is yet... but many of you do know what it is already.

It is approaching 7 years since I presented Mike my jaw-dropping answer. Well, except his jaw did not drop. In fact, he had expected it. Of all the medical students he had been working with (most of the students in the church I attended at Temple Bar, Dublin were keen and focused medical students), he had already discerned that I wouldn't quite achieve the ambition which I thought I had in common with the rest.

God was very merciful. So that I would continue studying medicine till I graduated (despite knowing the truth - i.e. I wasn't ever going to be a clinician), God sent a random prophet and wise church leaders to tell me to be faithful till the season was over. And when the season finally came to a close after 3 years (and I passed my finals by God's grace), God sent me a wonderful man (Ben) to convince me to remain in Penang and work a while at Trinity. While my work contract was coming to an end, Pastor Jeya suggested that I do a theological degree at MBTS. Looking back, I know for sure that I had been sent not by human commission not by human authority... but by Jesus Christ and God the Father, who raised Him from the dead.

Nevertheless, even dreamers grow tired and weary. I know the Bible doesn't mention that Joseph sighed while he was in prison, but I feel that he could well have - because Joseph was as human as I am today. I admit that I have been tired and weary myself. To this day, I still ask myself often if my 'detour' was worth it. Or if I have wasted years away? Or if I had been a fool. A fool for God, yes... but a fool nevertheless. Haha. But well... could Joseph have ever imagined while eating bland prison food and sleeping on a hard bed... that someday, he would be put in charge of the whole land of Egypt by the Pharaoh... and his crazy dreams would then come to pass?

My dream is probably not as huge as Joseph's. I never dreamed of sheaves of grain bowing down to my sheaf of grain... or the members of the Solar System bowing down to me! But my dream is crazy nevertheless. And I believe that if you, my readers, pray to Jesus and think over the same question Pastor Mike asked me, you might receive crazy dreams from God too. Pray, try. The S.H.A.P.E course is a good start to understand your life's purpose. Or else, write down on a piece of paper - your natural talents, spiritual gifts, inward desires to serve God and burdens, fruits, recognition and affirmation especially from those who know you, passions and convictions, what part of serving God fulfills and satisfies you, current circumstances, past experiences and people who have shaped your life and life opportunities...

Having understood your life purpose, can you now dare to dream a big dream that only God can bring to pass if He wills?

Don't worry if you don't get the big picture straightaway - my crazy dream has been filtered and revamped by God so many times, that it is a little different from its original form 7 years ago. Also don't worry if you have dreamt big dreams... and despaired over the fact that you have too little and are too small to reach for it. Because if your dream is bigger than yourself, i.e. too great to achieve on your own, then God has to be the author and perfecter of the dream... according to His will.

Like I said, it has been 7 years since I 'dreamed' the dream, but honestly, anyone that looks at my life can see that if God had not authored the dream ultimately, I would have been classified as delusional and schizophrenic. I look forward to behold what the 10th year brings.

I have a dream. Do you?