Thursday

Today a new offer came - which got me pretty nervous 'bout things... coz it's got to do with my future + ministry. A pretty good offer to many - but to me, it just creates a sense of serba-salah-ness because of its goods and not-so-goods. It disrupts my comfort :P (NOT that I am THAT comfortable in my present circumstances... but you know what I mean. I thought I was pretty settled already with the way things are. I am the melancholic phlegmatic that does not adapt too well to changes.)

The offer came with conditions.

Conditions. Can I run away from them? They are consequences of course. Consequences of an offer that will either lead me the right way or the wrong way. I am in a dilemma... because there is inevitably fear of the unknown. What if I take the offer, but cannot cope with the consequences? What if I refuse an offer which was supposed to bring me to the right path? Uncertainties.

O my poor aching head!

I need discernment. For goodness sake, I need to know what's going to happen in my life for the next 2-3 years at least! Plus, now I am attached. It is harder to make a decision. *Groans* If only I were the guy in the relationship :P (Haha... this is where submission comes into the picture, huh?)

I have a whole month to think and pray about it.