You are my all in all...

The church-planting and church growth course syllabus I'm taking this week is so good. I have no regrets whatsoever deciding to go for it, last minute. God, thank You for leading me to do so.

I basically sat and gaped at the lecturer, while scribbling furiously in my book, the whole time. He was amazing! Or rather, God truly made the man such an effective communicator of His Word, His commands and His big picture. It was a challenge to sit in his lectures because he challenged every pre-conceived idea many have had about church-planting... and God reminded me through him, of many things I've absolutely forgotten, ever since I left EN Dublin, to come back to Penang - and settled down in the clinical phase of med school.

I ended up with a headache, and had to come back home after lectures to nap. LOL.

I've been singing and playing a song on my piano during my quiet-time, for the past 2 days... and I could sing it for the rest of my life, without being bored of it. I guess most of you would know the song, because I've been singing it since I've come to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior 8 years ago, so the song has been around for ages. Played it again today, and I was filled in awe of God's love and forgiveness. It makes me cry everytime I play this song, to remember that God is my all in all, and without Him, I would be so lost. I wouldn't have known what it is to truly live.

My life was truly a mess before I met Him. I mean, He's always been there. My Maker. But never knew Him before. I struggled with my identity, because fearful as I was that others would not love or accept me, I strove to be that I was not. I strove to find joy in the wrong places. I strove to excel in my life for the wrong reasons. It was a life driven by acceptance-seeking and people-pleasing... And it was a life filled with confusion, pain, and grief. There was no real purpose of living. Deep down within, I hungered to find Him who made me. I needed Him to put me right - and He did come to make Himself known in the most beautiful ways.

I only came to know and call on Him, in my late teens. Being my Maker, He knew how fearfully and wonderfully He had made me. He knew the purpose I was here, for He had purposed me to be here. And having been reconciled to Him, through believing in Christ who He sent to die on the cross for all our sins - it is the best gift I've ever known. That of being able to live my life purposefully, knowing that this side of eternity is just a foretaste of His glory that I would be able to enjoy forever when I reach 'the other side'. My life will never be the same again, and I live now - because He is my all in all.

Allow me to share this song with you.

You are my strength when I am weak,
You are the treasure that I seek,
You are my all in all...
Seeking You as a precious jewel,
Lord to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all.

Jesus, Lamb of God,
Worthy is Your name...
Jesus, Lamb of God,
Worthy is Your name.

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame,
Rising again, I bless Your name,
You are my all in all..
When I fall down You pick me up,
When I am dry You fill my cup,
You are my all in all.

Jesus, Lamb of God,
Worthy is Your name...
Jesus, Lamb of God,
Worthy is Your name.