Wednesday

I've been experimenting lately with ~ what is the best time for me to start out from my place to arrive at MBTS on time. At 7 something, the roads are already congested with cars and buses, thanks to the commencement of the new school term. Alot of honking, road-bullies and impatient people around as well. I've been starting out at 7.15am, and I usually manage to get to MBTS by 7.50am - to give me some time to breathe and prepare myself for the day's classes.

I avoid driving along the main-road passing by Penang Chinese Girl's School at all costs. Usually I'd drive along Brown Road... then eventually this links me to the winding Mount Erskine Road.

No wonder I am thoroughly awake when I arrive at the seminary! I often feel like half of my breakfast has been digested in the process too! (Nowadays, I try to have a tiny snack mid-morning, or I'd be starving by the time luncheon hour comes around - at 1pm!) I mean - it's 2 sets of extremely winding roads to get through... (The Mount Erskine road...then the one approaching Batu Ferringhi). I'd usually mutter, "Left, right, left, right" to myself as I round the sharp bends. I'd park my car at the student's car-park opposite MBTS, cross the road, and then huff and puff my way up the steep slopes leading to the buildings. I won't be surprised if I end up with increased lung-power, as well as beautiful thigh muscles by the end of this year! Woo hoo....Talk about morning exercises...

I'm just afraid of my calves turning into cows! (I'm just quoting my little sister, Zoey, here... She said that her calves have already turned into cows...thanks to all that walking to-and-fro, in between our home and her workplace...) LOL.

Something my lecturer mentioned in class yesterday really impacted me. He was teaching us how to put together a ministry team. One point he made was, "When you choose your team members, look at their characters and the fruits of the Spirit their lives bear, before their spiritual gifts. Spiritual gifts have nothing to do with the individual - they are given by God. But the fruits of the Spirit have got to do with our faithfulness. And you cannot afford not to have faithful people in your team. Spiritual gifts alone, one who does not have good attitude/character and who does not bear the fruits of the Spirit in his/her life, is prone to pride.."

What a good reminder! I truly appreciate it now when leaders put me in probation before formally accepting me into a particular ministry team. I remember secretly resenting it when Mark, my Namibian worship leader back in EN Dublin put me on probation, before I was considered a 'fully-fledged' worship-ministry member...I just felt so... 'unbelonged' for that 2 months. But he made his reasons very clear to me later, and I understood that there was no other way. For him, having the skills needed just wasn't enough. You could be the best vocallist or pianist in church for that matter (I wasn't, of course!:D), and you'd be still on probation. If he saw that your spiritual walk wasn't right, he'd either put you on a longer probation... or tell you gently that perhaps, you could serve somewhere else first. Trust me. Past experiences of having been in any music ministry were useful of course, but he did not count that as a ticket for team-membership either.

"What is the point being on the worship ministry, if you do not worship the Lord in your heart, your life, and your entire being? When you lead others up-front, there is no room for showmanship. You are leading others to worship God. So you must first worship Him. Not only on Sundays... but every day of your life.." he would say. It was alot of discipleship he did with us. Everytime we came for practices and meetings, he'd ask us how our walk with God was going. He'd rebuke us if we did not take seriously the importance of punctuality during practices - he made us see how important total, whole-hearted commitment towards serving the Lord was. (There was once someone came very late for the practice with no valid reason - he merely woke up late, and he wasn't allowed to play that Sunday...) Sometimes, he'd ask some of us to prepare something from our daily devotions to share with the team. Most of the time, he'd share something, himself. We'd always start our meetings with prayer and worship... before going into the songs for the weekend service.

He would encourage us to go for the annual conferences held in Belfast, so that we would be more equipped for the ministry. In my two-and-a-half years in Dublin, I have travelled to Belfast at least 3-4 times for such events - which have truly changed my life and my perspective towards worship.

When he saw me struggling with my eating disorders (those dark, ol' days...) he'd never fail to encourage and edify me. Many times, he'd rebuke me for saying unwholesome things about myself... for example, I'd use 'fat', 'stupid', or other negative adjectives for myself. He was faithful to keep everyone of us in prayer... Then he'd challenge me out of my comfort zones whenever he felt that I was ready. I must say that he was an amazing steward of the leadership mantle God had given him. Such a humble, servant leader too.

Boy, I do miss brother Mark! I don't think I'd be who I am today, if it wasn't for him in my life.