28th May -Today in history...

I do this occasionally. Pluck old blog posts from my old blog. Seems like 28th May has been a very stressful day for the past ummm, 5 years or so?

28th May, Year 2008

The overwhelming feelings of panic + dread are starting to course through me again...Think I will have to go sit in my prayer-closet for a while...before I start hyperventilate...

I've just spent half a day bending over my orthopaedics book (blogger's note: the book was Wen Foong's). I feel very, very nauseated now, thinking of traumatology, management of fractures, etc, etc... I've seen too many pictures, read too many words, stuffed myself with too many Jacobs cream-crackers (because the cafeteria downstairs is currently closed for renovations - and I had neglected buying stuff to cook beforehand), drunk too much coffee.. Gah. Such a wreck!:P I have not exercised for weeks, and I feel like every fibre of muscle in my body is sticking together, surrounded by growing lumps of fat!!! Horrors of many horrors, I am looking a tad bit rounder than I used to be. Haha. Oh-oh.

Our final exams timetable came out today...This is the phase right before exams, where denial turns into bargaining and depression...Haha.

It was indeed comforting to talk to my sister, Zoey, on the MSN - even if it was only for a little while. In the midst of all the crazy goin-ons...

Tomorrow, we have a class at 7am in the morning with Mr. Kingston (in which I would have to present my varicose-veins case), Dr. Malik's class later in the morning...then in the afternoon, we have a mock finals surgery written exam. Guess what - I am going to sit for it, without having revised my general surgery another round, because I badly need to finish reading my orthopaedics tonight.. I only hope I can remember what I studied about 2-3 weeks ago. So, so muddled up right now...

I wanna run....run far, far away from Penang, right now... AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Will definitely look back, one day, and remember this very moment of my life...with amusement, maybe?:) Yes, please... (28/5/2009 - Yeah, I am looking back in much amusement now...)

God, please have mercy on me!!! Ok, ok...prayer-closet, here I come....

28th May, Year 2007

Obstetrics & Gynaecology exams are 3 days away - I'm feeling really unmotivated to peg at my books... Feel like a big couch-potato who only wants to sit on the sofa, watch TV, and sleep the whole day away. Sigh...

Please... anyone who finds me incredibly cranky and upset this whole week (or if I laugh uncontrollably for no reason) - you'll have to forgive me + accept me the way I am. I'm stressed now because I'm not stressed enough. Haha. Please don't tell me "Don't be stressed!" because you are going to exacerbate the stress. Don't worry la...it ain't that bad - I'm surviving on the joy of the Lord, which is my strength...and I'm not too worried, because I did study all throughout this term...but exams are still exams...and I don't think I remember everything I learnt this term right at this moment... (28/5/2009 - I think I sounded crazy)

To Zoey: sorry I haven't called you yet last weekend...Please give me 4-days grace...I'll definitely give you a call on Thursday...Lurve ya. (And p/s: u don't look dai bi in ur picture lar!:D Just very comel, that's all!)


28th May, Year 2006
Stressed!!!Very, very stressed..............................

So stressed. Good thing my condominium is not made of bread and cakes (like the witch's cottage in Hansel and Gretel) - coz I would definitely be chomping my house down. And other peoples' houses as well. Good thing it has a swimming pool. Good thing I can swim...

I have to go and see the doctor tomorrow. *Wail*

Didn't do much during the weekend. Mostly resting, watching TV, eating and sleeping....Have to continue my studying....

Praise God daddy called last night. I was so nerve-wrecked, that I was practically turning my wardrobe upside down. (I'm serious, I did!) I've been getting stomach-aches the whole weekend. I have a feeling, those are stress-related...I woke up with a stomach-ache today...

Went out with Lucas, Esther, Estee and Tyng Yu yesterday afternoon...We hung out together the whole afternoon...Lunch, Gurney Plaza and prayers...

Hafta go and print out my lecture notes now...

28th May, Year 2005

Amazing God!!! I have been really careless for the past few days..and sleepy as well. It's definitely not because I haven't had enough sleep. I mean, I have been sleeping my regular hours... Probably, it's the pre-exam syndrome, haha... again.

Anyway, I was careless enough to lose my RCSI student card (I think I lost it on Saturday in the UGC, but I didn't exactly find out until b4 I left for hospitals this morning...geez) Was kinda upset, had to admit; coz it costs 10 Euros to replace it! And, wow, 10 Euros is a lot to me - can buy a week's rations with that amount of money (well, for myself, at least!) So, I was praying while I was on the bus to Beaumont. God impressed upon my heart suddenly, that I ought to trust in Him more - Felt a sense of peace. I even went to sleep blissfully on the bus!

After hospitals, I rushed back to the college and re-applied for a new student card...We got it done, and I remember the Examinations Officer lady go, "It's 10 Euros to replace it.." Then she left me to her colleague... After my card was done, she handed it to me. I pulled out 10 Euros from my wallet. Amazingly, she shook her head, and said that it was ok, I didn't have to pay. Wow, praise the Lord!! And while I was going, "PRAISE GOD!!!!" in my heart, God was saying, "You woman of little faith, why did you doubt?"

Had a rather busy weekend - pulled out of swimming on Saturday, but went for worship practice at Mark's place... It was superb. We had a great time of chit-chatting after everything was over (if u are wondering what the topic was - Discipleship) - just Mark, Michelle and myself..then later, Mich and myself ended up at Tamryn's place for yummylicious Greek salad... YUM!!!

Later that evening, Michelle and I went to the UGC to watch, "Monster-in-Law" which was sooooo funny. I think we laughed the loudest... After the movie, I went home to spend some time with God and my beautiful laptop. Really loved it.

On Sunday, I was at church for half a day. Pastor Ray (who is now back Home with the Lord) was speaking on, "Suspicious minds - overcoming interpersonal offense". We had communion. Later, we went up to the IFI-cafe for lunch and fellowship. Cyn and I had cravings for ice-cream...so we went to the Australian Ice-Cream shop... before grocery-shopping. Our evening had to do with ALOT OF FOOD at Dennis' place - we ate our steamboat leftovers from our CG steamboat party on Friday. Dennis force-fed us, because he was desperate to rid his house of our leftovers:P ..Well, Lucas and Sze Ann were there as well, so we got talking!!! And I laughed so hard at our conversation, that my throat was constricted later. Hoarse. Dennis and Lucas were revealing to the 3 girls - what guys usually do on a buddy's birthday... How traumatizing. I'm glad to be a girl - we go out and celebrate, and eat, and talk...and don't do disgusting stuff. We ended up talking about bugs, grubs, and all kinds of even more creepy things...Then, I went over to Tamryn's place, before heading home.

I badly need the gym...I feel really disgusted with myself for such lack of self-control when it comes to food. (Still stuck with bulimia then)

28th/29th May, Year 2004

Went for worship practice today. Mark told us what worshipping means...to offer a sacrifice to God - in love,humility,reverence. It is not just as an act of service.

Shared my vision/burden with Pst.Mike (our student pastor) about going into fulltime ministry, and he agreed so much with it. Feels like a confirmation. I wonder what led Pastor Mike to make me do that assignment. My short-term goal is to get through medical school and successfully graduate, because I know that God wants to use me here - in the lives of people perhaps. Also, it would be a good time to get myself discipled and equipped. I mean, I have so much to grow. I can't even pray out loud when I'm standing with a group of people because I am afraid. I get the jitters when I have to do back-up vocalling on stage. When Pst. Mike made me share about my eating disorders at church, I was so timid. I think God also wants me to learn to wait on Him and rely on His strength - as difficult as it will be going through med school. I don't know if I'll ever work as a doctor, but I'm just going to trust in Him:)

Currently facing some financial problems now, but all I'm going to say at this point is: "Be glad, and rejoice, for the Lord our Savior reigns, and the joy of the Lord shall be our strength..." Amen.