Two years :)

Still sick. My nose has run a week-long marathon. Every morning, I cough up loads of sputum produced by post-nasal drip. (Sorry if this sounds eww!) I have also been talking in a sexy voice for quite a few days by now. But wow, I am definitely in a better mood than I was two days ago - feeling a lot less crappy... and I can sincerely say that I am feeling closer to God today - compared to say, a week ago! :) To all who have been praying, thanks... For the past few days, I have been spending my afternoons reading, journaling, writing my prayers down (seriously, I am so much more fruitful doing this than merely praying aloud - keeps me focused and AWAKE :P) and reflecting on my own life. There were a few meet-ups with good friends, a steam-boat gathering tonight... and loads of heart-to-heart talks. Some frustrations here and there - but God very mercifully met me where I was.

What refreshing rains after braving some parched desert pathways! Living water. Ah, relief for my soul.

I feel that I am learning how to trust God again.

At this point, I am still trying to discover what eroded my faith (not that it was like totally gone - but I haven't been feeling like myself since the Christmas week, somehow). What triggered the feelings of despair and hopelessness. What distracted me and divided my heart. All so that I can avoid it/them in the future. Nevertheless, emerging myself in the love of God was the best thing I was inspired to do.

Yes, I was inspired. It was amazing how watching Ben in his intimate moments with God makes me yearn for the same closeness with the Lord. And when I did draw near to God (I wouldn't say that I was so willing at first), I found Him ~ the source of Life, the source of hope, the source of all joy and strength. Being human, I know I will yet go through more troughs in the future ~ but every gulf of distress like this one, has its own share of beautiful lessons despite the growing pains.

I want to learn them well. God only disciplines those He loves as sons (and daughters).

So this time, let me learn to trust Him more.

Yes, my brook is drying up! Soon, I will have no water to even wet my tongue while the ravens continue bringing the bread and meat. That is if they remember! But I want to believe God will send them in His perfect time. He will. Like Elijah, let me be poised and wait.Today, I realized that my personal blog at gmmmh.blogspot.com just turned two years old! :) One more year has passed. Another year from today, let me still be as joyful and secure in God, despite come what may.