If only I could turn back time...

I always wished that I could turn back time...

If only...

But today, I am glad that I cannot turn back time... We cannot avoid trials in life. They mostly cause us to grow and progress. Ultimately - even though they may be quite painful. A butterfly is not born a butterfly. It was a caterpillar, which slowly and forcefully broke out of a cocoon.

If I did turn back time... I'd hate to have my trials repeat themselves... or have new, uncalled for, unpredicted grievances come my way. Coz... a trial is always a trial. Whatever stage of life you are at, whatever your financial status, or social status, spiritual status or achievements, etc... when you go through a difficult time, it feels like the worst ever experienced.

Take for example, the difficulties I went through when I was being potty-trained as a toddler... I don't think they are lesser compared to the difficulties I go through in life now... as a grown-up young woman... The guilt, rejection, overwhelm, bewilderment and embarrassment of wetting my bed - I still feel these emotions nowadays, perhaps not due to bed-wetting, but some other struggles and break-throughs I have yet to achieve.

I am not sure I want to repeat an earlier stage of my life... and grow younger...just so that I can rectify some mistakes I previously made... coz, where I've arrived at today - along with the consequences of my mistakes, God has graciously brought much beauty into my life. Such precious blessings and lessons that I don't think I'd let go of now, even if I were able to change the past...

Been there, done that - gotten over it...and now I look forward to the future.

But... perhaps, it's because I do know where I'm going after I die. Do you?