The phobia...

Actually... one of my greatest dreads/fears related to getting married...

...jeng, jeng, jeng...

....is the mother-in-law part - thanks to the many TVB dramas I've watched as a kid (as well as the sad stories I've heard from the people around me). Back then, every time I thought about getting married... my heart would sink... coz I could so picture myself playing the part of Cinderella... bullied, pushed around, etc...because I am not a very 'fast' person...

I am your typical melancholic-phlegmatic girl... who moves around very slowly... takes my own sweet time...observes, contemplates, analyses (sometimes over the top), is very concerned about aesthetics, is super emo, is a perfectionist and doesn't deal very well with emergencies or adapt to sudden changes (yeah, balanced combination of my mel- and phleg- characteristics)... I can be expressionless - even though I am being faced with emotionally-challenging situations... (you can ask my sister - she used to complain when we watched funny scenes on movies, "How come, so funny...and your face still so serious???") The truth is, even when I feel extremely tickled inside... sometimes, I am just too lazy to laugh...or my brain forgets to command my facial muscles to lift up the corners of my mouth!!! :P Also, I tend to react slower to jokes... Ben often teases me that I '...laugh one second later'...

Choleric people may get impatient working with me... While, I am better now than before (transformation not completed yet), I've always feared getting on the nerves of a choleric and over-controlling mother-in-law...

Nowadays, I still watch Singaporean mandarin dramas which depict such tension in the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship.

I brought this fear up to some of my seminary friends recently... and they gave me very good and practical advice. However, it was Ee Ling mei-mei, who helped me the most and put my fears at ease - when I met up with her for brunch on Saturday morning...

Her conviction: Godly, Christian mothers-in-law who love Jesus are really different.

My conviction (after reflecting on the godly, Christian women I know... who have daughters-in-law): Ee Ling mei is right!

I also came to see that I've been feeling 'not good enough', because of the too high expectations I put on myself.

Anyway...

I felt very touched today... that even though Ben is away, Ben's parents came to take me out for dinner this evening after 3rd service at church was over. The five of us - Uncle and Aunty Wong, James and Xu Wen (James' beautiful gf) - made an eating trip to Love Lane... Indeed, I felt so loved :)

My point is this...

God has been really good and gracious to first, give me a wonderful husband (of course, not without his imperfections)... and then, give me an amazing mother-in-law (of course the rest of the family too :P) - I can't remember if I ever prayed about the mother-in-law part (I could have, seeing that it was a big "phobia" for me!) - but also perhaps, God already knew that I wouldn't be able to take any bullying and harshness, because I'd cry easily :P and get very disheartened that I might even fail to function in the marriage. Aunty Wong was already amazing even before she invited Jesus into her heart... but now that she's a prayerful woman who loves God, she really is a mother (and housewife) whom I'd emulate... of course, apart from my very own.

I really hope that I'd be a good daughter-in-law someday... :P