my week off...

SO thankful for this week of rest I get in the midst of the STCM intensives. It's doing me good just not having to wake up super-early for classes. I'm appreciating the amount of time I have to just chillax in the presence of God, tidy up my home, reflect, have some 'me-alone' time... and even cook nicer meals for myself. XD

People think that seminarians (mostly pastors and church workers in training) are very 'spiritual'... but I realized in the past year, that it is sometimes even more difficult to draw near to God when one is in the seminary. You can get so distracted with all the different events and programs going on, so saturated with head-knowledge and it is incredibly easy to neglect proper QT when the assignment deadlines draw near - or even assume that you've done your QT - when what you've done is just to prepare to lead the next Bible study/to preach the next sermon/to minister to so-and-so... I honestly struggle. I appreciate the equipping God has provided me to undergo... and I love being with the so-called 'spiritual' people (indeed, they are men and women who love God and serve Him very faithfully) - but in actual fact, many of us struggle with the 'spiritual' image (and in a way, expectations), when it is much harder than others can imagine to be spiritual, keep close to God and not be discouraged in the ministry.

Having said that, nobody should feel that his/her vocation is of a lesser/lower calling or second rate or less 'spiritual' compared to that of church workers, pastors, etc. 'Full-time ministry' is in whatever you do on a daily basis that serves the purposes of God in wherever He has placed and called you. If it is washing toilets, changing nappies, driving kids to school, making sure they do their homework, nurturing them, cooking 3 meals per day, working from the home, praying, encouraging your hubby when he comes home tired from work... so be it. May we do it with utmost joy and passion in our hearts...

I use that example because that's probably what I'll do one day - my ultimate ministry, aside from other stuff I've been equipped to do. May I never, never neglect my greatest calling in life for something others deem more 'spiritual' just because I am pressured to do so. Even if I were to lead many Bible studies, do brilliant researches, bring many to know the Lord, serve the troubled and needy and do much with my God-given gifts... I'd still fall short of being a '...good and faithful servant' if my children do not receive enough of mummy's attention that they grow up lacking something that I failed to give them when they were young - just because they did not fit into my schedule of 'important' tasks.

Just a few days ago, I was thinking - if families functioned the way they should; if daddies and mummies strove to be godly and to raise up their children in the ways of the LORD (rather than merely give material gifts bought with overly hard-earned money to keep their children happy); if people made relationships-buildings their priority, even cross-culturally and trans-generationally; if everyone served in church with their various gifts; if everyone was passionate about missions and community work; if everyone took discipleship and their vocation seriously (and I don't mean just earning money - but being missionary in the harvest-fields of the workplaces) - ONLY IF - then the church wouldn't have so much need for fulltime-workers. But of course, we don't live in such an ideal, perfect world.