Tuesday

Troubled. Bothered. Anxious. Worried. Frustrated. Disturbed. Unsettled.

Perfect 7. (Or should I say imperfect 7?)

But oh well... I read Psalm 73 in class today - which totally blew my mind. I mean, this wasn't the first time I read it - but the words of the psalm spoke to me in a whole new way. Something in it seemed to resonate greatly with a part of my heart. Stirred me to tears. Especially verses 21-28:

'When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before You.
Yet I am always with You.
You hold by my right hand.
You guide me with Your counsel,
and afterward You will take me into glory.
Whom have I in Heaven but You?
And earth has nothing I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Those who are far from You will perish;
You destroy all who are unfaithful to You.
But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all Your deeds.'

Boy, even now when I read the words... I yearn with the psalmist for God's presence, comfort and reassurance, in spite of all the uncertainties of life and all its unfairness. *sniff*

O God. Where art Thou? I may be senseless and ignorant - not realizing that You have meant it all for my good. I may be crying out in frustration, but for reasons I can't quite put my finger on. But my Lord, let my tantrums be soothed by Your gentle presence. Hold me up for I can't quite walk. Refresh me in my weariness. And give me a heart filled with the joy of knowing that Thou art with me. Indeed, my heart and flesh may fail - but Lord, be my strength and portion forevermore.