*Sighs*. God, is there hope?
I'm wondering if there's a pattern to this. I notice every time I am about to take up new ministry challenges, depression kicks in. This happened during the Sandakan Mission Trip...I had to text everyone back home to pray for me.
I guess I need prayer again.
I'm not usually depressed about ministry. Rather, some provoking stuff usually crops up...or I'd feel emotionally very confused 'bout something...or I'd feel torn about certain matters... and since I am not very good at resolving internal conflict (within myself) or pin-pointing why I feel the way I feel, I'd become depressed. When I had eating disorders, I used to binge - but now, I don't. I'd talk to God.
Well I talked to God. And I believe He understands me much better than I can understand myself. So, Lord, have mercy... and help me!
Been feeling a little off the whole afternoon. (Come to think of it, I can't remember when this started).
Then, after watching my seniors graduate (and feeling really proud of them), I had takeaway from Mcd's and more depression kicked in. Yeah, don't laugh. I repeat: This is one tough day.
I feel like standing on top of a hill and yelling my head off. ARGH. Either that, or flooding my apartment with tears. Am I losing my mind? >_<
Feeling human. I am only human anyway.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Dep_e_s_D
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2 comments:
Oh Grace...I feel you. I know what you mean...I feel like both of us are at a strange pinnacle of our lives. We're both far from ED, but still grappling with our lives, and trying to live our new lives, but there's a lot of things that drag us down. I think it's Satan...he's trying to bring us down no matter what because he's scared of what we can do.
Think about it..your ministry is So precious, and so powerful, and so potent. Satan is scared shitless, and he is using anything to bring you down.
But you're SO right abt the prayer thing...I need to settle down and pray, too.
Thanks, Sophia. I know you'd understand :)
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