Thursday

I'm currently faced with one big issue which I can't exactly make head or tail of - neither can I determine how to respond to it. For far too long, I've been sort of putting up with it... trying to adapt to the culture... trying to focus on the stuff that didn't bother me... etc. And I'm starting to grow restless. (I think I know now what usually follows such restlessness...) However I believe that God brought me to this spot for a reason because He's a God of purpose. I just don't know why I always have to come to such standstills! There was one of these back in medical school. And now, here is another one. Looking back to where I've come from, many wonderful things have taken place - but looking forward from here, where should I go? I don't see that the pastures are any greener on the other side, but something deep down inside tells me that I will not remain here forever. This is not where I really belong. One day, I'll have to move - and I'm dreading it a little. Alot of dilemma too.

Last night, I couldn't help but 'weep a little weep' about it... Glad and thankful that Ben was around to witness the 'waterfall', listen to me pour my heart out and give a few suggestions. (That's what boyfriends are for, huh?:D) For now, I guess I'll just pray and see how God leads. A season is coming to an end I suppose... and now, it feels like winter.