The blog title says it all.
Ouhhhhhhhhh.... So sien... Piang eh.... thank God tonight it's Rachel Chan to the rescue! >_<
I don't know how to go through the weekend like that... I was OK before Ben came into my life. I was happy during my single-hood. I'd spend weekends on my own, doing my own thing, studying for exams, etc, etc. Sometimes I'd hang out with my friends. But for the last 2 years, Ben and I seldom spent weekends apart...whether it's breakfast dates, preparing for CG or church stuff on Saturday evenings, going to church, having dinner, etc. Now that this is going to be our 2nd weekend apart, I am having 'withdrawal symptoms'...It's honestly very difficult to try and reenact how I spent my weekends in the past - now that I am no longer single. And to think that I have many, many more of such weekends to 'look forward' to. *gulp* Really, really, really miss him... My life seems so quiet all of a sudden. I am not used to it.
But oh well, God is never far away... At least that's the comfort I have. The only constant in my life.
I know that my God will be the right way round...
Anyway, to make myself a little happier...let me share something totally random.
Today, Dr. S (our academic dean) saw me lepak-ing around the office during lunch hour... and he asked me, "So, have you changed directions yet?"
At first, I didn't understand what he was talking about. So I cautiously said, "Not yet. Perhaps..." and he grinned... I don't think he was referring to the question he threw at me yesterday.
Having given it some thought, I now realize that he meant to ask me, "Are you getting married yet?" @_@ (I think he's so clever....and yes, I am kinda slow...)
Dr. S once asked his spiritual formation class students to describe how our relationships have directed our lives...
I shared that day...that having a boyfriend has thrown me off course and changed my life direction completely. I always knew (since 2nd med) that I would someday leave the medical field for the vocation God was calling me to. However, I did not originally intend to come to MBTS in Penang. I was trying to apply to get into STM (another Christian seminary in Seremban), till the final 6 months of medical school...when I found out that Ben liked me. *gulp* Or rather, we liked one another... and there was no way of turning around somehow... When we went into courtship, I quite sadly gave up my dream (back then) to enter STM... I didn't quite like the idea of going to MBTS... but if I was to stay in Penang and get married here, I knew that I had no choice. When Pst. Jeya confirmed that I should attend seminary and get my M.Div, I just knew that God wanted me in MBTS (even though it didn't offer the courses I had wanted to take)... and here I am.
However, I now believe that this change of direction was God's will. He later revealed to me why it was much better for me to be here rather than in STM (although I have no doubt that it's a good seminary) - which I won't share here. I have no regrets coming here at all! I really love the friends I made here too. But it is so true. God uses relationships to direct our lives, because He made us relational beings... and His will is perfect.
Of course, Dr. S being Dr. S had to tease me that day, "So if you get married and if you both leave Penang, does it mean that you will leave MBTS too?"
0 comments:
Post a Comment