Thursday's...

More geography lessons on Egypt and the Levant today. Fascinating! The Bible OT stories are so much more alive to me now!

Collected my choir robe from Aunty Mei Li after school, then I had lunch (@ KFC), prayed and went shopping at Tesco's for plastic boxes to organize the first-aid kits at school. Thought I'd start surveying, categorizing and rearranging the OTC meds tomorrow after mentoring group, since I have been exempted from sitting through Form & Style classes.

Bought a new broom (the old one's bristles are falling out!), cleaning detergent and scouring sponges for my house too. Doing the laundry now... and hopefully, tonight I can pack for the Ipoh ministry trip... as well as study.

Reflection of the day...

Today, I seem to keep encountering the word 'Trust'. In Psalm 21, the psalmist praises God by describing a very blessed king. Then in verse 7, he attributes the blessings to this fact: 'For the king trusts in the Lord' through the unfailing love of the Most High, he will not be shaken.'

Wow. Subsequently, in Psalm 22, the psalmist groans and moans in his state of being persecuted by his enemies... and yet in verses 4-5 he reminds God of His own faithfulness - 'In You our ancestors put their trust; they trusted and You delivered them. They cried to You and were saved; in You they trusted and were not disappointed.'

I believe that this was also a comforting reminder to the psalmist that if God is the same yesterday, today and forevermore, His mercy, goodness and love would in the same way follow those who put their hope and trust in Him.

Last night, I struggled very much to trust God in something I have been committing to Him time and time again (yeah, I am a woman of little faith sometimes). It did not take much to bring me down - just a few discouragements, contemplation on my own fears and telling myself things such as, "Ah, it is impossible... Nothing will work out... etc."

You know how the Bible says that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks? It is so, so true. Pretty soon, my speech sounded depressing, emotional and even hurtful to the hearer :P ~ It reached a point whereby I could even hear the resentment in my voice, *alarm bells ringing* and to my horror, the poor hearer looked so grieved!

Haha. To cut the long story short... I managed to calm down, by God's grace. (Thank God that the hearer was merciful). The word 'Trust' kept coming to my heart. I realized that I did not trust God enough. To trust means to completely surrender and to fully accept the vulnerability it afforded. To quote the FB status of one of the youths I know, 'Wrestling with feelings that might tear me apart. But if hurting me will draw me closer to you Lord, then I ask that You continue to break my heart...' ~ what surrender and acceptance of vulnerability this speaks of! I can't help being humbled and ashamed of myself.

Proverbs 3:5-6 TNIV says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." I memorized these 2 verses in form 5 - the version which says, 'acknowledge Him' instead of 'submit to Him' - but essentially, both mean the same thing - i.e. giving oneself up to the Lordship of Christ. We can't call one 'Lord' if we don't completely trust him. It's like contradicting ourselves. We in fact acknowledge God's sovereignty, power, authority and all-sufficiency when we call Him Lord. It is not merely a term of endearment. It ought to be a humble cry of surrender from our hearts when we even so much as whisper it.

Lord.

God will make your paths straight. He has the best things in store for us! We are often in a hurry to make our own paths straight - but in our haste, they grow even more crooked. So why not discipline ourselves to let go and let God?