Tuesday

Crawling through my research paper like nobody's business... *Gulp* I do hope that I'll get everything down cold by tomorrow. Can't deal with this any much longer... or I will go M-A-D. I'm surprised that my hairs have not turned white yet.

I'm probably like my dad... His hair was black all the way till his late forties-fifties... Now, I'm starting to see white strands of hair crowning his head...

Digressed. LOL. Like I said, October and November are rough and tough months to go through every year. Many things crop up during these 2 months - which I have to resolve before New Year. This year is no exception. But praise God, that He is still with me. I can't go on without Him. Today, after many days of being sad, burdened and depressed, I could finally pray again while driving home from school - as I used to do. It was such a relief to confide in Him. I believe that prayer turned many things around, most of all, my heart.

I do see how God have been working in some of my long-existing problems. I see His discipline, painful as it can be, but His will wise, holy and sovereign. On the other hand, I see how He's turned 'evil into good', carried me up the steep paths of the mountains when my feet hurt too much to climb anymore, and sealed up the doors which I desperately tried to kick down ~ because He loves me. I do see His pattern of faithfulness in every aspect of my life - no matter how hopeless circumstances may seem... or when I fail and fall short of faithfulness. Ah, I've really tasted His mercy and grace. Thank You so much, Lord. I want to revere and love You more.

It's been exactly a year since I moved into my tiny apartment. Last year, I carried alot of burdens and baggages into this house (physical and emotional) ~ and wept on the floors quite often. The walls in between 2 units are so thin, that I have no doubt that my neighbors have gotten very used to the piano-playing (and cries) emanating from my side. Hehe. This year, I'm glad to say that God faithfully helped me in many ways to heal and to let go of many things... Also, my relationship with my boyfriend grew much stronger and the emotional baggages have disappeared alot (while the stuff and dust multiplied in my house). I dare say that I get into a depressed state much less often.

Of course, having said that - I still do get depressed ~ since I am of melancholic nature and I am such an emotional girl! ~ Hehe. But well... not as often as last year, kays. No worries...
To those who are taking SPM examinations tomorrow... the dear youths... ALL the best! May God be with you even through the valley of the shadow of death. He is indeed the Good Shepherd. Lotsa love people!!! :)