Lord, if You are willing...

I was reminded of a touching story in the gospel of Matthew today.

A man with leprosy, pushing through the large crowd that followed Jesus, his eyes full of agony. Falling down upon his knees, he boldly cried, "Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean."

Jesus heard his almost breathless (I would imagine) plea, reached out His hand and touched the man. "I am willing," He said. "Be clean!" And immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy. (Matt 8:1-3)

The Lord saw the faith in the man's heart.

Those who could, in those days, afford to come in the clean robes of the Pharisees had nothing but the hypocrisy in their hearts written all over their sleeves and from the overflow of such envious, condemning hearts, their mouths spoke and accused.

But the rest, who appeared before Him with no formalities or rituals, many could not afford to wear handsome clothes - they were the poor and ill. Sinners, tormented in body, soul and spirit. Widows. An adulterous woman who was about to be stoned to death. A repentant tax-collector. Inquisitive little children, perhaps a little muddy from their outdoor play. Worried-sick parents of children possessed by evil spirits. Friends of a paralyzed man lowering him down from a hole in the roof, desiring that their friend would walk with them again. And yet still, these were the blessed ones who saw the glory of God. They were mostly empty-handed, but they brought to God the one thing He so longed to see in the hearts of those He made in His own image.

Childlike faith.

They just fell upon their knees amidst their distresses and asked. It didn't matter if Jesus could have gently told them to endure a little more before the eternal relief came from death. He knew best, but hey, they just asked. They just came to Him. What could be better than a personal touch from Jesus Himself - even if it was just a kind look and a reassuring word? It didn't matter that they were not the most educated or the wealthiest. They acknowledged their lack and put their highest hopes in God Almighty.

Who in his right, logical, educated mind would believe that a Nazarene carpenter would be able to heal with just one touch of His calloused hand?

Jesus said in Mark 9:23, "Everything is possible for one who believes."

Perhaps, you have been praying for healing. Are you praying with expectant faith in your heart that God is able to heal, or are you just praying because everyone says you should pray? Or maybe you have been praying for a long time, and healing did not come as you thought it would.

God knows best. We may not get what we, in our human reasonings, have thought best for ourselves. But God knows what is best for us, and He makes all things beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). His will is not just wise, but it is kind too.

So just ask, believing that with God all things are possible.

Then if you've really asked with the right heart, and can't see God moving, reflect. The whole time you were humbly praying about the broken heart, have you not drawn closer to the Lord or deepened your spiritual intimacy with Him? Have you not seen the blessings and fruit of depending on His strength instead of your own? Or perhaps, look at your own life. Has your character not grown? Has your attitude towards a particular hardship not changed?

I remember those very much darker days, when I struggled with eating disorders. While I prayed and hoped God would deliver me out of my distress, (and I didn't really see much progress in my illness), what inspired me most to keep hoping in the Lord was watching God transform many lives around me. Whether it was the lives of those who stuck faithfully with me in prayer and encouragement throughout those trying ten years. Or those who did not really know God and yet were curious about what kept me going. Or those young women who shared the same illness I suffered and dearly needed to know that Someone could fill their love-hungry hearts with the love and acceptance they had always craved, heal their brokenness and work in their messed up lives.

I remember the day I realized I was eating disorder free. It was indeed marvellous to behold - not only a renewed body. But also a transformed self-image, a deepened love for God, a calling upon my life to reach out to women similar to myself - and ultimately, the glory of Him, by whose stripes I was healed!