How?

How should you react when you are reminded of something you don't want to remember?

How do you graciously respond to the person who brought the matter up, when this person thought that you were already OK with it, when you were not? I mean, to be fair, this person didn't really know that I'd react in the way I did.

FYI, I didn't throw a tantrum or something. I just... was not happy :'( ~And I expressed it. With passion.

Does this mean that I have not moved on? Does this mean that I have not put behind the past completely? Nah, it perhaps means that I need to be more disciplined in doing Paul's Philippians 4:8 thingy. Guard my mind.

Sigh.

I forgive you simply because I love you. And it's not worth it - letting such invoked memories come in between us. Love is patient, kind... does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It doesn't dishonor the other, is not easily angered and keeps no records of wrongs. It does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Thursday's muse

Our worship team had a rehearsal today for Tuesday's chapel service next week. Kevin, Pam, Chris, Winson, Stanford and myself.

I just love how my team humbles me and makes me thankful that the Holy Spirit is ultimately the worship-leader - and not I, myself. I am glad that I often feel inadequate as a leader, because I know that His strength is made perfect in my lack. We can indeed lean on His faithfulness, even though things may mess up on the day itself. More importantly - may we be able to worship Him with joy, awe and wonder in our hearts. I also enjoy learning fresh, new things from my team-members very much.

I love it that every musician takes ownership of his/her role and instrumental parts, throws out suggestions to improve the dynamics/flow of the songs (and not merely wait for my instructions and blindly stick with 'em). Gives his/her best to the Lord.

Well done, dear people!

Thursday.

Slept late last night, because I got caught up doing some work, which I thought was pretty fun...

Remember how gung-ho I was last year 'bout folding pretty origami boxes out of recycled magazine pages? Well, I made a whole lot of boxes... but I didn't know what to do with them *roll your eyes at me, yeah* - till yesterday, when I was wondering how to construct a organizer tray for the OTC meds in school....

TADA! Praise God for a brainwave!

Origami boxes to organize the meds!Each box is labelled with its indication, drug name and dosage - so that Pst. Sunny Khoo will have no problem figuring out what to do with them, when I'm not around. Hehe.

Tomorrow, I've gotta clean out the medicine store-room...There's simply icky dust everywhere now.

Wednesday

This is what happened in between classes today...

Again...the sleeping gang :P Actually, 4 of them were sleeping in a row at first. I only took this picture after 2 had left the sofa...

Some active discussion was going on in class...

Studying for exam...

So tired. We had an exam for Introduction To the Bible today, after chapel... Should have spent more time staring at the map of the Holy Land, instead of reading the whole stack of notes. What came out for our exam was unexpected - we had to label the map with the names of the different towns, rivers, seas, highlands, etc, etc...

Anyway, today a few of my friends from MBTS and I went to the Sizzling Chicken place next to Golden Sands Resort along Batu Feringghi for lunch. I haven't been there since the Music and Missions course last term. The food was good - but they seemed to have skimped on the meat quite a bit since the last time I was there. Loads of beansprouts though. Yum.

Chris and Dong Hoon (and our fruit juices)

Kevin and MatthewAi Hua and myself... the roses among the thorns :PAi Hua, me and Kevin

The gentleman - from left: Kevin, Matthew, Chris, Dong Hoon and Winson. Picture taken by Ai Hua. I tried to - but my violently shaking hands failed me (became the laughing-stock of the table too) - my hands always shake btw.

MLM training tonight. Last year's class photo:

Never say NEVER.

When I was in medical school (especially the very first few years), I remember sharing with my CG in Dublin, that I'd probably never sit in the office 9 to 5, and have to deal with anything else apart from the patients.

I was proven wrong. After I graduated, I had a 9 to 5 job at church for 9 months, before I entered MBTS. Although my work required me to conduct regular visitations to the homes of elderly, homebound church members, minister to them and oversee the church care-takers, I too shared in the administration workload of the church and did loads of adhoc stuff - sitting in the church office, surrounded by your typical office stationery, etc. I learned how to do many things that I never thought necessary to learn - for example using the paper cutter, working on church bulletins, printing, etc. Ah, thank God for such an opportunity, although I must say that God worked on my attitude/character more than anything else. :P

When I finally gave up my medical career for a fulltime Christian vocation, I remember sending all my med books back to KL (I think my dad felt sad seeing them return home) and telling everyone who asked me, "So... what are you going to do with your medical degree?" that I'd be leaving it behind... never to go back there again. Of course, I didn't see medical school as a waste. There was so much I learned there aside from medical knowledge and skills - and God used my time in Dublin and Penang to grow me in many ways, especially in the ministry... I am also thankful that med school has made me a very people-oriented person. But I didn't see what I could really do with my degree, which many point out as 'a waste'. In the past year, I have often wondered myself why I continued studying medicine when I felt called by God in my 2nd med year to a fulltime Christian vocation. While it is true that I respected the counsel of my leaders back at Every Nation Dublin to continue in my studies until I graduated, I still often wonder 'what if' I had left Dublin that year and returned to Malaysia for theological education....

My dad said a very spectacular thing when I first told him that I'd be leaving medicine behind. Of course, he wasn't very sure that I was making the right decision back then, but he was so very insistent that he saw me using my degree to the fullest. (What strong words!) After a while, he had peace about me going to MBTS - but he still occasionally calls me 'Doctor' at home. I secretly hated it - coz it invokes mixed feelings within me each time he does that. Sheeesh.

Additionally, my boyfriend reminds me every now and then, that I ought to be revising my medical knowledge, because I'll never know when God will open a door.

Guess what?

My degree did not go to a waste after all. Firstly, I was able to get into the M.Div program at MBTS because I already possess a first degree.

Secondly... God suddenly opened another door last week. As part of my compulsory duty to the MBTS community, I have been assigned to manage the first-aid and medication kits at MBTS and manage uncomplicated sick/injury cases on campus (haha, with OTC medications:P) whenever I am around at school.

See? Never say never. God's will prevails.

Now I regret sending all my books back to KL. Coz I need to study again.

And... omg. Dad was right after all @_@. Ben as well!

Today, I met up with Dr. Oh (he's a medical practitioner and a part-time lecturer at MBTS) to discuss my duties, as well as the meds stock. So thankful that I am able to liaise with him and sorta get mentored - coz I am currently a little out of touch with medicine already. (It's like drugs... their efficacy start to decline by 10% every year after their expiry dates! My med knowledge slowly seeps out, little by little, as I continue to stuff my head with Bible College stuff). Tee hee.

What he said at the end of our discussion impacted me the most. "It's good for you to be taking on these duties and keeping your medical knowledge fresh and updated. It will come into good use when you do missions."

Hmm. God is so sovereign.

This is how the end of our conversation went...

Me : Thanks so much, Dr. Oh.
Dr. Oh : Ah, it's no problem... Dr. Moo.
Me : Um.... no don't call me that *sheepish grin* ...
Dr. Oh : Well, you are a qualified doctor after all... :)

I am not proud that he said that... but that coming from a doctor who has been in the field for a long time encouraged me indeed.

Out of my comfort zone... into what?

Today was a bit strange.

It was a little unlike any typical Monday. I didn't do the stuff I'd usually do on Mondays. I did stuff that I wouldn't usually do on Mondays. I ate stuff that I wouldn't normally eat on Mondays. You get the picture? But... oh well, it's good to break out of routine sometimes. When we get too comfy with our lives, we don't grow. Our faith is not stretched. We become boring, complacent, passive and uncreative people. I don't know about you... but it sure affects me this way :P ... So there!

Sat in Mc'donald's today for lunch - and I amused myself, in the midst of journalling, by fixing my eyes on the lip movements of the other patrons - one by one. As I did that, I could actually make out each of their voices over the confusing buzz of noises in the background - even if one was sitting 10 metres away! Funny - I was suddenly aware that God was using that to remind me to fix my eyes on Him ~ to get busy loving His Word, engaging in prayer, serving Him and being a faithful steward. Praying, watching and waiting. Subsequently, I'd be able to make out His still small voice over the din of noises the world presents, as well as discern God's will and direction for my life.

It was a timely reminder indeed. Last week, I was overwhelmingly bothered and worried about something. Prayed with tears. Then somehow, today, I received news that would have killed me in my tracks last week (haha, sorry for the dramatic-ness! :P) but hey, I am actually dealing with it surprisingly well now! Praise God. To be honest, I wasn't feeling totally happy when I decided that I'd 'let go and let God' and... accept the upcoming challenge as a blessing. Miserable would perhaps be too strong a word in a time such as this. However, the peace in my heart grew and grew. I think someone must have prayed for me last week - that I would be transformed by the renewing of my mind :P (I wonder who) coz I feel that THIS is what happened to me! No wonder Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will." Now, I have faith that God is going to make all things work together for the very best - to Him be all glory! May this also be an opportunity for me to grow.

Aside from all that...

I am looking forward to seeing Ji next Monday! Yippee-doo-dah! :) She's gonna fly back to Singapore the very same day... but oh... I'm so thankful that I get to catch her before she disappears again. Life is full of hi's and goodbyes... but it is those precious moments we catch in between that make life absolutely worth living!

OT survey 1 exam tomorrow...

Back from ministry trip to Ipoh CGMC

On Saturday and Sunday, the Trinity Choir went on a short ministry trip to Canning Garden Methodist Church, Ipoh... We sang in both services and hope that the people were as blessed as we were ourselves.

It was a very memorable trip for me indeed. For one thing, I got to meet up and chat with so many people that have encouraged me in one way or another throughout the past year or so - even though we were one state apart. I had the opportunity to put faces to the names of people whom I've never personally met - but who've made a difference to my life (yeah, mysteriously - I am humbled at how God orchestrates my friendships). Also, I had the same roommate I had since WTR last year :P - my dear Pekz - who, I think is pretty used to my weirdness by now. (I am also pretty used to her antics by now).

Sorry... bad lighting and geeky glasses :D hehe...

I must say thank you to Tailo - who also managed to 'add spice' to my trip to Ipoh - by rushing from the General Hospital to CGMC on Sunday morning (7am) in the midst of a overnight call (his patient was dying :P - but he got someone to keep an eye on the patient while he left for a while) - just to drop by, see me and pass me a surprise lovegift. *Sobsss* So sweet. I thank God for amazing, loving brothers. Tailo also said that I've lost too much weight - to quote him, "Not the Grace I know..." To be fair, he hasn't seen me since we graduated from med school in 2008 - but I think he's right in a way. Unhealthy weight-loss :P Muscle-loss more than fat-loss. I think I've gotta change my typical school-day diet. Ben pointed out that I've got quite alot of muscle-wasting - so I need to build 'em up again. Hmm. How?

Anyway, here are some random pictures with my camera... I will put up more pics when our team photographers upload them to FB or something.

Ben came along this trip... and made me laugh all the way (I think he was in an extraordinarily great mood! :P)

During our 2 hours bus-ride to Ipoh :)Pigzpek :DOur shared room...

Us at CGMC

Just before we left Ipoh on Sunday

On the way back to Penang...

Had to study on the bus for this week's exams...

My yummy 'souvenir' from Ipoh

That's all folks! Busy, busy week ahead.

Before I sign off...

This was what I found so heart-warming today :P Our 3 brothers, all in striped shirts, catnapping in a row... in between classes... right outside SR1. Boy, they must have been very tired. It's either that or our lecturer really had the gift of lulling us to umm...zzzzzzee DREAMS and visions :P Joking...Saw (middle) woke up, caught me with the camera...and pretended to go back to sleep, albeit with a smile plastered on his face this time...

And after the long day...

...my bed is calling me over, most invitingly...