Anxiety

Geez.... My internet connection has been driving me up the wall in the past few days.

It has been challenging to do my work without good internet connection. As a result, I am feeling especially anxious about my research papers. As Dr. Sunny puts it, I am terribly back-logged... :(

Praise God for good exam results though. With all the assignments, I had to study just the night before the exam last Friday... but thank God for having mercy on me and giving me exceptional memory so that everything in my notes got 'internalized' pretty quickly... Also, for the steady flow of thoughts during the exam so that I could recall everything. Thanks for the prayers, those who prayed. I am so grateful!

Just got a part-time 'job'. I'll be giving English tuition to a Korean lady twice a week from next week onwards. I am not sure how it will work out... but may God provide sufficiently to cover all travel expenses and make all things work together for good.

Friday

This was the end of an extremely tiring day... thankful for dinner with Ben.

This was the very stress-inducing atmosphere in my classroom tthat day...

Everyone was studying (yeah, like majorly studying) for exam. I was not stressed because there was alot to memorize... but because everyone around me was stressed! :/

OK, maybe some people were taking a nap during lunch break...

But most people were working hard...

After the exam... me, Gaurri and Serena.

I look positively 'charn'

Exam tomorrow...

too-tii-too-titooooo....

Had a nap after returning home from school. Thankfully, I woke up after just one hour of blissful slumber... Tonight is the night for swallowing answers ...to be regurgitated tomorrow in the written paper.

I plan to order-in pizza tonight.

I think pizza would go well with evangelism :P ~ Oh, it always does.

Thursday

Church history paper is over. Thank God! MCQs were great. Essays... hmm, a little bit harder. I didn't write too good an essay on King Clovis' conversion and its consequences on the Roman papacy :P My mind was so blank. But never mind... at least the exam is out of my way now!

Now to focus on my OTS assignments, weekend ministry and etcetera...

Was running through the songs for this Sunday's praise and worship... singing, singing, singing... and it suddenly rained :P Hehe. A good long shower of rain too. I AM VERY VERY HAPPY ABOUT THE RAIN! At long, long last! I can't remember the last time it rained in Penang. Ah, you cannot imagine the gratitude in my heart! Praise God!

But why did it have to happen while I was singing? :D

Tuesday

That dreaded Church History (part 1) paper today is now done and over with. *Gags* @_@ I don't know which recesses of my brain the learned facts from my textbook crawled into. When it was time to write the essay, my brain seemed to be turning somersaults - valiantly trying to regurgitate something for me to put down on paper. And the blood was draining from my face. Dot dot dot...

However I'd be honestly very ungrateful if I did not acknowledge that it was by God's grace I had managed to come up with some points. Thank You Lord! Apart from Him, I would have been floored!

Anyway...

I miss having good, long, heart-to-heart coffee-talks with my friends. Hehe. Recently, it seems like work has crowded out that part of my life quite a bit, in the past few weeks. Hope I'll be able to meet up with more people 2 weeks from now.

Yesterday's chit-chat with Nellie at QB was refreshing indeed. I feel MORE normal now! :D

Monday

Sorry guys, if my blogposts seems to be very unhappening for next 2 weeks... I'm under tremendous pressure to meet datelines, study for exams this week (starts tomorrow) and prepare for MYF youth retreat next week. Already broke (pockets-wise), after the first week of the month. Feeling pong-pong. And my laptop is still down after its revival at Acer... So it's frustrating. Ah, you have no idea...

I so want a new laptop :P

Stressed.

My weekend was ok. I was sick-ish.. Stomach boo-boos and crankiness the whole weekend (I slept whenever I could) - but I had TLC from Ben for that - so that made up for it pretty much! :) I even had choc-chip + cookie-dough ice-cream from Baskin Robbins on Sunday.

Finished writing the song for that upcoming EFCC ministry event. Praise God for the inspiration. Gotta show it to Aunty PS this Wednesday. One more item ticked off my to-do-list. Phew.

Wednesday

I'm highly stressed at this point *chew nervously on fingernails*... I'm loaded with stuff to do and my OT survey assignments are due next week. And I have to study for 2 exams!

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH...

As soon as I remember I have to do something, another thing pops up on my to-do-list.

Just drove back from choir practice at church. O God, please help me to stay awake for a bit longer!!!

Tuesday

Woke up very anxious today somehow...but praying in the car on my way to school afforded much comfort.

Anyway...

Today turned out to be a better day. Golly-schmolly! I am even ready for homework...

I got lost in church history class today. It was too wordy for words (ironic huh?), not visually-stimulating in anyway (sorry...but I am one who needs pictures/music for better mental stimulation)... and I kept drifting into what Ai Hua called, 'the faraway planet'. Of course I felt bad :P I didn't go to sleep but I started staring cross-eyed at our lecturer...the rest is history. Drank like a camel too, because of the hot weather and my burnt tongue (scalded it on Friday night) - and consequently, I kept running to the bathrooms in between classes.

Btw, Church history MCQs + essay exam is NEXT WEEK!!! @_@'

There were just too many things on my mind today - including a whole To-do-list AND how to transfer funds to my dad so that he would be able to get my plane tickets for Poland mission trip in time (by tomorrow). Now that it's all over, I heave a sigh of relief. Ah, praise God! Time to work on saving up for the rest of the trip. I still have got alot more to go, but I believe that God's provisions will come in soon.

Ben and I tried wall-papering one of the pillars in my house over the long weekend - and it turned out pretty nice! I wouldn't have agreed to wall-paper the other pillar if the result hadn't turned out as well as it had :) coz it is actually so tedious! Perhaps there's a better way of doing it - but oh well, there's a first for everything. We'll learn from our mistakes.

Wednesday ~ 3-2-10

I haven't been sleeping very well for the past few nights.

Perhaps it's the hot climate in Penang approaching Chinese New Year. Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night with a pounding heart - for no apparent reason and felt uncomfortably warm in bed. Listened to the dogs howling and barking in the distance too. Thought I was late for school - but it was only 2.30am. Um, did something happen and I missed it? I had no problem going back to sleep though...

Needless to say, I was drooping in OT Survey class - not to mention I fell asleep countless times too. In front of Pst. Mark :P Hehe. This time, sorry... Minty Mints did not help. @_@'

Today's 'test' on the ancient civillizations of the ANE went well, praise God.

Today's reflection....

Pst. Mark said something in class that made me think alot. How come there were so many more multi-talented people in the past when the technology was much simpler and there were considerably much less books to read? It was interesting to note that education before focused much more on well-rounded enrichment of humanity... while today, education is mainly aimed at increasing functionality of any given person.

Take for example - literature. In the past, people studied it not necessarily so that it would give them better jobs or higher social statuses. Many studied poetry for the sake of appreciating the art in which language is used for its aesthetic and evocative qualities, in addition or in lieu of its apparent meaning, as well as the different styles, forms and techniques from diverse cultures and languages. In contrast, many (no, I don't mean all) of today's generation balk at the idea of studying literature and poetry beyond what is found in our high school/junior college syllabuses. They argue that it would not help them in their chosen career-paths. "Let us take up a course whereby the knowledge obtained can be applied in our jobs! We don't have all that time!" they cry. Unless you want to go into this field in the future, you are probably not very likely to major in literature. Or any form of art for that matter.

Such focus on functionality is very good. But is it necessarily sufficient?

Another great example - medicine. In the past, many studied medicine without necessarily using it as a mainstream career - but rather as an enrichment to their vocations (eg. Leonardo Da Vinci). Today, the expected career path of a medical school graduate is housemanship - leading on to MO-ship, and so on. Step out of it... and you've got a whole throng of people talking behind your back and doubting your rationality. "What a waste!" they exclaim. Having gone through all that, I am even more convinced of the changed roles of education in today's society...

... and not to mention concerned at the quality of education my children will be getting in the future.

A visit to a local bookstore the other day with a friend to purchase some teaching supplies (for ministry purposes) had me rather appalled. I browsed through quite a few English textbooks/reference books on the shelves (not necessarily local) - and was shocked to see how exam-oriented they have become. What happened to fun and creativity in learning?

Gosh, I pray that I have the wisdom, determination, strength and creativity (when I am a mother) to expose my children to well-rounded development of their humanity/beings. Not merely to focus on good academic performance in school - but more importantly, to bring them up in the ways of the Lord, to help them appreciate art as my parents graciously did with us... and to nurture their talents and gifts that they would be instruments of service in God's Kingdom. I want to be a fun mom, one who does things with a difference and a godly influence to my kids.

Make me faithful, Lord.

Wednesday

This is what happened in between classes today...

Again...the sleeping gang :P Actually, 4 of them were sleeping in a row at first. I only took this picture after 2 had left the sofa...

Some active discussion was going on in class...

Studying for exam...

So tired. We had an exam for Introduction To the Bible today, after chapel... Should have spent more time staring at the map of the Holy Land, instead of reading the whole stack of notes. What came out for our exam was unexpected - we had to label the map with the names of the different towns, rivers, seas, highlands, etc, etc...

Anyway, today a few of my friends from MBTS and I went to the Sizzling Chicken place next to Golden Sands Resort along Batu Feringghi for lunch. I haven't been there since the Music and Missions course last term. The food was good - but they seemed to have skimped on the meat quite a bit since the last time I was there. Loads of beansprouts though. Yum.

Chris and Dong Hoon (and our fruit juices)

Kevin and MatthewAi Hua and myself... the roses among the thorns :PAi Hua, me and Kevin

The gentleman - from left: Kevin, Matthew, Chris, Dong Hoon and Winson. Picture taken by Ai Hua. I tried to - but my violently shaking hands failed me (became the laughing-stock of the table too) - my hands always shake btw.

MLM training tonight. Last year's class photo:

Wednesday

Geography lessons today by Mr. KC Wong were very refreshing. At least, the Old Testament seems more alive and exciting now. When we study the geography of the land and the Jewish cultures in those biblical times, it enables us to understand why certain things sounded so odd and unfathomable in the OT history.

For example, have you ever thought of why God said to the Israelites in Exodus 23:19b - "Do not cook a young goat in its mother's milk...?"

This was the way their pagan gods (especially those whom they prayed to for rain) used to be worshipped in those days. By cooking a young goat in its mother's milk and serving it to the rain gods as an offering - so that their prayers for rain could be answered - or their crops and lifestock would die. The famine would follow.

By saying that, God prohibited the Israelites from worshipping Him the same way as they used to for the pagan gods - instead in verse 23:19a, they were to bring the best of the firstfruits of the soil to the house of the LORD our God - and know that "the LORD our God, the Lord is one..." (Deut 6:4) and that He was the One who would bring them rain and provide all their needs - not the idols they worshipped.

I think, God's ways are so beautiful and fascinating indeed.

We have 2 exams next week. One for OT Survey 1... and one for Biblical background. The lecturers love calling 'em 'tests'... but let's face it. It is just a way of disguising them to sound less threatening and scary :P EXAMS, all of them!

How quickly the week pasts. Tomorrow's already Thursday... and then Friday will follow.

I want to praise God for the good grade I just received for the 'Church Planting and Church Growth' term paper I handed up last year. I was very confused and frustrated planning the church plant :P - I don't know how some people completed it so quickly and handed it up long before I did... hehe. But oh well, thank God that it all ended well!

Last night, I was sad and worried about something. Today, I am gonna try my best to fix my eyes on God and trust Him again. Thanks for praying, Kevin T.

Exam on the Ketubim... OVER! T-G-I-F...

Exam day! I was so mentally and emotionally exhausted that I slept early last night - 8 hours of sleep was refreshing.

Speed-reading my notes from 6.45-7.00am this morning...after breakfast...Book of Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, Ruth, Lamentations, Esther, Daniel, Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah.... I've grown to love you all so much more through this exam... :)

Driving to school... and getting stuck in traffic congestion all along Green Lane...as usual.

After our exams (and since we had an hour plus before the next class), Pudun, Eunice and myself took a short trip to Khaleel Batu Feringghi for roti canai/telur and teh tarik. Thus, my second breakfast. @_@'

Emptied our plates (the roti telur was good!)...in celebration of the end of 3 difficult weeks...while having an interesting discussion. Topic: B.G.R, haha...

Eunice

Pudun

Then we went back to the seminary for mentoring class and theology class.

My lecturer, Dr. Anderson marked our papers at top speed. By the time we returned from Khaleel, our papers were in our student mailboxes already! @_@ The scores for our mid-term exam and Ketubim journal assignments had been added to the final exam score - and the overall grades in.

I praise God, because He has helped me so much through the past 3 weeks - while I was going through a difficult time with all the work and stuff. Taking the class on Ketubim (12 books in the 3rd section of the Hebrew Bible) was something I truly dreaded because it sounded scary :P . I wasn't sure if I could cope with a tough subject on top of my many other assignments and commitments... but it wasn't like I could drop this subject - coz M.Div students have to take at least 8 credits this term.

I remember myself looking at the list of requirements for this course - and my eyes widening in horror, to read this: '...A reading journal is required for this course. This journal should include a section on each of the biblical books assigned for this course. Each section should include: Introduction to the book, issues of authorship/date, major themes, general outline, critical questions, theological significance, 2 helpful commentaries ...' This was supposed to be due yesterday, the 29th October... but I was able to finish it a few days before the date-line. My lecturer marked it on the very day I passed up my work - and to my amazement, I received a full mark for it too (just like my mid-term paper).

Final term exam was well do-able too, although I couldn't figure out the answer for the first question - "What are the 3 books we've studied this term which had a difficult time making it into the canon of the Hebrew Bible?" Hehe.

Final course grade - 98%. I honestly feel that I don't deserve it - for the amount of work I put in. I may have had many late nights, but the truth is - I had alot of other assignments to rush on top of the Ketubim assignments - and some nights were basically UNPRODUCTIVE - so I didn't put in as much focus on the Ketubim as I should have. @_@ But really, it must have been God's grace and mercy. To those who have been praying for me these few weeks for joy and strength when I was weak, exhausted and depressed, haha... making me laugh to cheer me up and telling me not to give up (you guys know who you are) - THANK YOU. Appreciate it loads.

I really do.

Amazing. I thought that today, the 30th of October 2009 would be a most hectic, stressful day - because many of my assignments are due today. But thank God. Today's a Friday I can truly enjoy because every one of my 30th-Oct-due assignments had been handed up by yesterday. T.G.I.F!!! ~ I can focus on the many other stuff I need to do this weekend + the music-work - before I start working towards the 6th November and 14th November datelines! - And more importantly, spend a little more time with God and loved ones.

To those who are still working hard to meet today's datelines, gambatteh! May the LORD give you strength to endure till the end.

Monday

Back to work.

Picture below was taken in October 2007 - 2 years ago. Memories of burning the midnight oil with Tailo (Kean Yew) at Mc'donald's Greenlane every night... for the Paediatrics-Obstetrics & Gynaecology-Psychiatry-General Practice final exams... the very next month.

We didn't have a choice. To keep awake and motivate one another to study, many of us would troop to 24-hour eateries together after the college library closed at 10.00pm - and sit there with our books (and no laptops) till the crack of dawn. Mc-donald's Greenlane happened to be our 'hang-out-and-burn-midnight-oil' place. For Tailo, Yeh Han, Hari and myself. (You must be surprised that I haven't gotten tired of Mc-donald's yet!) So much yee-hei... haha. (I don't know how to translate that from Cantonese to English.)

This was the exams, which we all claimed that '... if we don't go crazy this time, we will probably never go crazy for the rest of our lives!' I have to say that it is very true.

It's good for me to remember at this crazy time, when my assignments are piled sky-high and there is an exam in the coming week - that I did not go crazy during POPGP-2007 - because God sustained me throughout that period of time! And He will do the same now.

Let's see. I am done with my Ketubim journal on the 12 books of the Hebrew Bible (Psalms, Proverbs, Job, Ecclesiastes, Song of songs, Esther, 1 and 2 Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah)... Triune God sermon (which I'm afraid that it's keluar topik)... and most of Christian Theology. Now, comes the ultimate challenge of doing my 12-page reflection paper (yes, the one which I kept procrastinating... I still don't know how to go about doing it! @_@) amidst preparing for Ketubim's final exam. All these by the 30th October.

I will worry about the 6th November dateline after that! :P

Thankful! :)

This was the sheaf of notes, I hurriedly flipped through before my exam yesterday. Notes in point form, mostly extracted from power-points - easy to remember. Didn't do much studying the day before, because I was busy trying to finish the other assignments... Believe me, I've got plenty.

Front page of my paper. Dr. Jeff Anderson must have worked very hard...:P Our papers were returned to us today... marked. I gulped receiving mine. Full marks! @_@ - Praise GOD! It could only have been His grace I put down the right answers...and remembered the stuff I had hurriedly read before the exam. Precise points. Being half-asleep too!

I've gotta thank God for some degree of photographic memory. If I scan fast enough, I am quite able to remember how the pages of my notes look... and then store the images up in my brain. (If I draw pictures, I will remember even better... but of course, I didn't have time to do all that! LOL.) During the exam, I just had to 'read' my memory. At least the main points. Then goreng.

The 2nd and 3rd pages...Sempat lagi melukis jadual...

Last page of written paper... *phew* - I don't really like literature exams.... Was blur, dazed and in despair after the exam was over... and that is why I spilled the mung-bean soup over myself. (see yesterday's post). Thought that I had written many crappy answers down.

Above: lecturer's comment. Hehe. *Tears* God, how unfailing are your mercies!