That telephone call...

A very beloved sister, Cyn, called me today...after such a long time. I could not believe my ears.

But it was true...

I mean, she has been busy with work in KL.
I've been busy with my own life here in Penang.
We've not met up since we both graduated from med school -
herself at Dublin, myself in Penang...
I've stopped going on my yearly trips to Kuantan
because I was afraid to, without Cyn around..
...that I'd be a burden to Uncle Ray and Aunty June
who have been always so kind to make me comfortable
whenever I stayed over.
Silly thought of mine.
Should make a trip there sometime.
Before it's too late. @_@
*Sobs*
So many things have happened eversince.
We've both had our ups and downs...on both ends.
So reminded of something...
- that we are no longer young and carefree as we were before.
She let me listen to a song we once recorded acapella
-Yvonne, Cyn and myself -
while we were staying at St. Patrick's Court
on Clanbrassil Street, Dublin.
And it brought tears to my eyes.
"Do you remember this, mei?" she asked.

Needless to say, I was hit by a whole flood of memories.

Jie I miss you. Hope we can meet up in December.

Thursday

Went out with Ai Hua for lunch today.

Ate Japanese food at this place in Pulau Tikus. (I'm so bad - I forgot the name...*gulp* but it's right next to the big Vegetarian food shop that everybody knows - tip: ask Ai Hua!:D) Food there was quite good and reasonably priced. I had a blessed time indeed. We laughed the whole day too @_@' ~ obviously we went a lil' too crazy on girl-talk --> and Ta-da! I've gone hoarse.

We went to Gurney Plaza after lunch to pick up some of the stuff she needed. Wandered around for a while. Got attracted to some things I like very much (cardstock, really pretty paper, ribbons - there's a new Moof section at MPH) - but bearing the thought in mind that I'd have to save money so that I can enjoy my KL trip a little more, hehe... needless to say, I hurriedly (albeit reluctantly) let them go ~ unpurchased.

Came home and realized something... that I actually prefer to be out with people nowadays - rather than being home alone. Ok... maybe not all the time. I do like my peace and quiet - I've been staying alone for more than a year already - and I think it's great. (Don't know how it will be like when I get married...) And I've had my own room since year 2006. But being alone the whole day, the whole week... is not much fun. I think too much, I get bored easily...then I also grow depressed. I mean, I don't need to talk all the time. Comfortable silence is great... but I do like feeling that there are other humans around. Nearby.

I used to be more introverted than this.

Then... I am also having much fun planning our trip back to KL. The toughest thing ever is trying to keep the cost down. Budgetting. Doing a fair bit of telephone-call-discussions with Ben and dad and online researching (I know you are thinking *whoa*!! :P ~ but it is essential).

Wish Zoey were around...it would be kinda weird this time - going home and not having her run out to welcome me with her cheerful, "Hi jie!" *sobs* ~ mei, wish you were coming on the roadtrip with us...like we did last year.

Wednesday's Spice

First of all....
To literally 'spice up my day' - Kevin Tay sent me the picture above :P Was so not expecting it. Very, very funny. Gave me a good laugh, it did. *_*

My Wednesday turned out OK after all.

Felt much better after spending time alone with God and reading a book I have not touched for a year - 'The Unnecessary Pastor: Rediscovering the Call' by Eugene Peterson and Marva Dawn. I must emphasize here, that this is a very good book. It is suitable for anyone involved in church or parachurch leadership, preparing for marketplace ministry or going into full-time Christian vocations. I had a little trouble understanding the contents of the book a year ago ~ it just wasn't my season I guess ~ but now, everything makes perfect sense. More than anything, this book penetrates my heart with the conviction to seek to strip away the cultural plaque and to get on with biblical ministry - whereby all work is shaped by Scripture. Not culture.

Answered some emails... pored over an email from Laura jie - which sent tears into my eyes. What she wrote was as if she was here with me - watching my life and telling me what to do about the very stuff I had wrung my hands over and declared too-difficult-to-fix. Must have been words of wisdom inspired by God.

Did a little exercise in the evening. Apart from having to readjust to my few newly gained pounds (I'm not kidding), I am actually loving them. The new roundness of my face softens its angular features, and I've got color in my cheeks again. Now that the weight has redistributed to my limbs (don't ask me how that happened - I don't want to know:P), they do look a little more 'filled' - but I'm appreciating the curves. My clothes are no longer loose and hanging - so I am enjoying the great variety of well-fitting stuff I can now wear - before a super intensive term begins in January 2010... Hehe.

Going out with Ai Hua tomorrow... Hopefully, meeting up with Pastor Ida for tea one of the following few days... and lunching with Nellie next Tuesday.

Suddenly remembered that I was supposed to call Yvonne out for dinner too.

Anyway... (written after a phone-call from Ben):

Didn't know that there was supposed to be a choir practice today (for Ipoh CGMC ministry-trip) and completely missed it! @_@' Uh-oh! Zhao gao!!! How do I ummm...redeem myself?:P

----------------------------

*Edit* False alarm... I didn't miss practice after all. Muahaha.

Did I get out....

...from the wrong side of my bed again?

I have been having really weird, vivid dreams for the past few nights - and some of them have an element of sadness in them. They are not necessarily sad sad dreams, but even simple stuff like visiting the drugstore and chatting with the pharmacist, defending a loved one... or running in the falling rain leave quite an impact on me somehow. I usually can't remember them clearly once I awaken, but certain remnants and the emotional aspects of those dreams remain.

And I wake up feeling so =___=' ~ heartache with a headache too.

Right now, I am feeling a little unsettled, undecided (fickle-minded), shaky and emo. Time to write a new song maybe? :)

Perhaps, I should just be thankful for the inspiration.

Argh. Dislike it when people don't answer my emails, and leave me to wait and wait and wait. I mean it's fine when it's not an important/urgent matter ~ but when it IS, it leaves me in an uneasy suspense. I then compulsively check my email inbox, text message inbox, whatever. Dropping me a text would suffice already. Would it not just take less than a minute to type out one line of few words? Sigh...


Today is just... face it... not a good day. However, I can choose... to allow my mood to continue to spoil it, or take the things that come with a better attitude. Hm, ideas to spice up my day anyone?

Tuesday's muse...

Finally had a chance to go out with a dear comrade (and my regular WTR roommate) - who calls herself Pig way too often ~ but looks nothing like one...@_@'...

Anyway... we had lunch together at Queensbay Mall. It was good catch-up session too after so long...what with me busy with school - and her, busy with work, Cambodia mission-trip, etc, etc. We met up more while I was still working at Trinity... :P

But yeah, she's really good at making me laugh. Even when she's distressed - she can still find a hilarious statement to make... Helps me de-stress. Of course that's not the only thing she is good at le!:) She's also amazingly helpful, helps me come up with the wackiest ideas, is a great listener, and inspires me to love my family more.

Wandered around QB by myself after lunch... Didn't mean to get anything, and no worries... I really did NOT.

No worries if you don't get the rest of my blog post from here onwards...

Currently... my mood = a little peeved and upset at something. Lack of peace. Unrest. Discouraged. Not to mention anxious. Distressed. Am I doubting or what? Or am I just being careful? Sigh. Dislike it when I can't make out the circumstance very well. I want a bird's eyeview of this right now.

Oh well. I forgot. I need to be patient.

God...please, let me rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Speak clearly, for Your servant heareth!

Back to teaching...

It's been fun so far....Praise God.

I hope I am not going too fast - covered half of the Grade 1 theory syllabus in one lesson...along with 15 minutes of music appreciation (Did the same with my previous students - it worked out fine before - so it should be fine now as well. Anyway, it's pretty basic stuff). Sent the dear student home with homework too :P

Guess the next few lessons for this month would be more on theory revision, practical application and more music appreciation.

Cake and Icing

Something a younger me put up on my blog a year ago on the 7th of December 2008:

"God must not be the icing on the cake of our everyday lives and doings. He must be the cake...and everything else be the icing..."

Can't remember what was that all about. I must have been feeling very strongly about something. The rest of my blog post for that was strangely irrelevant to this remark. But how true. We can do without the icing. Or the frosting. Or the embellishments. But the cake makes the essential base. The rest need the cake to top.

What makes the substance and bulk of our day? Spending time in work or studies? Serving loved ones? Indulging in hobbies or beauty treatments? Pampering our pets? The mere duties of Ministry? Or could it be thoughts about God and musing on some aspect of Him, reflection on the things of His Kingdom, prayer, being aware of His presence, meditation on His Word even in between our daily duties and doing all things (even those mentioned above) in consideration of what manner is most pleasing to Him?

Do we leave the reading of God's Word towards the last part of the day, when we are all tired and ready to dunk and snuggle beneath the bed-covers? I know I have been guilty, myself, of falling asleep whilst praying, countless times - all because I had neglected to pray during my most 'alert hour' ... *sobering flashbacks*


Do we feel that we can do without all else, but Him? This is something I often wonder of myself.

May nothing else give me as much pleasure, wonder, fulfillment and satisfaction as God Himself... that if any were to be stripped away and even if I were in pain, I would not lose my joy and contentment... but still hold that peace in my heart ~ the peace of knowing that God is sovereign.